Alyssa Farah Griffin was on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen yesterday. One of the show’s fans wanted to know, “What was the wildest thing that you still cannot believe came across your desk when you were special assistant to Trump in the White House?”
I was kind of afraid of her answer because you never know what lunacy was going on in his head. However, it wasn’t as scary as I thought. What is it? “One day, he wanted to have Kanye West come and do a church service on the White House lawn to unify the country.”
Thankfully, they talked him out of it because that would have brought a whole new level of insanity to the 1600 Penn. And that was tough to do between the years of 2017-2021.
If you thought that Trump’s statement about how a boat battery could cause the water to electrify, thus electrifying him if he fell overboard, was the stupidest thing you ever heard, then listen to the Jimmy Kimmel Live mashup of him singing Naby Shark from different speeches.
It is so dumb that it will make you laugh out loud. And we need more of that these days.
Donald Trump has been fighting the law for over 50 years, and last week, the law finally won.
That is a lot like Sonny Curtis of the Crickets’s I Fought the Law. And that is what the staff of The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon thought. So they cut together the words of the convicted felon on 34 counts from different speeches to make it appear like he was singing it.
And I think they should release it as a single. Trump will finally be #1 at something.
Before we were making fun of Donald Trump for his farts, we were laughing at that thing on top of his head he calls hair and its rapid decline, like his mental capacity.
It is a mystery that has yet to be explained, and we don’t want an explanation.
Anyways, today, when he was talking to the press before he went into court, the wind had revealed that his hairline is disappearing as quickly as his wealth. Heck, he might have more hair than he does money. And that isn’t saying a lot.
Maybe if he had more money, he could afford better wig tape. You know, if worse comes to worse, he can use Gorilla Glue. Remember, that is a miracle worker!
Finally, after years of waiting to see Donald Trump in a mugshot, the day has finally come. He was booked, fingerprinted, and smiled for the camera in the Fulton County Sheriff’s Office today. And it is a beautiful thing.
OK. He didn’t smile for the camera. He looks like the Devil. That is, if Satan was arrested for trying to fix an election because he couldn’t handle the fact that he lost. However, Lucifer is more likable than Trump, so I am sure he would win in a head-to-head election. I know I would vote for the Devil I Know over the one I don’t and don’t want to know.
And as soon as I saw his face, I imagined why he was so pissed. He was angry they didn’t kiss his ass and treat him like he is special as his worshippers do. I can’t believe how many fake Christians and Orthodox Jews believe in this antichrist over their Gds. Haven’t they read the 10 Commandments? You know the one that says, “Thou shalt have no other Gds before me.”
Today, I saw one of his followers say he is a modern-day Jesus Christ. Jesus died for her blasphemy, but he didn’t die for Trump’s sins. There is a special place for Trump in Hell. And he earned that place for being an awful person. And I am saying that as a New Yorker who knew what a disgusting person he was since I was a kid. Way before the rest of the world found out.
So I hope he goes to jail and never sees the White House again. I just wish my cousin was still alive to see it happen. But I am sure she is watching it all go down from Heaven.
