On Tuesday night, donald trump gave his annual state of the union speech. I was going to watch it, but I was streaming Police Woman with Angie Dickinson on Tubi, and I didn’t want to be spoiled by how the series ended in 1978. Time was of the essence.
Therefore, I didn’t watch because that was more dire. I am not the only one who missed it. According to Nielsen, 11% of the people who watched last year were also drawn to watch or do anything else, like watch paint dry. Granted, I didn’t watch last year either because I was washing my hair.
Anyways, while his ratings were down by a lot, Stephen Colbert’s ratings for that night were up by 7% as compared to 2025!
As The Late Show host explained, “People may not like watching trump, but they do like watching me not like watching trump.” Yes, we do!
BTW If you asked trump about his ratings from Tuesday, he will tell you, “They were the best ratings that any president has ever gotten at the state of the union and no one has ever seen anything like it.”
Aaron Rupar shared some photos from donald trump’s meeting with republicans yesterday. As soon as I saw this photo, all I could think he was showing us the size of his penis. And just like everything else that he tells us, it looks like he was exaggerating.
donald trump keeps bragging about how he has aced a cognitive test three times, and no one has scored as high as he has.
So, Jimmy Kimmel decided to see if he could beat the president at that too.
Did he? Yes, because the host, who more people want to watch, does not show signs of dementia, and knows that a rhino is not a hippopotamus and a camel is not a giraffe.
Now that you have seen what the test is, do you think you could also perfect it?
Can we all agree this was a brilliant way to troll Mr. Micropenis? However, you know, that the orange one is going to say that Kimmel cheated.
Before I start the story, I just had an epiphany. I love to psycho analyze people. And I have finally figured out something new about trump. He is the type of kid who was rightfully bullied because he was a dick. So, after school, he would run home to his look-alike mommy and cry about how much all the kids were mean to him. Then she would call the school, their parents, or both. And then those kids would hate him even more. He didn’t have any real friends. He only had the ones that his parents bought for him.
Even though it is over 70 years later, he still acts like that kid who wants to be liked. And in those 70 years, he still has not figured out that you have to be likable to be liked.
That brings me to present day. He feels that the late night hosts are being mean to him. He can’t run home to mommy (because she is dead), so instead, he goes to the FCC and has them go after the hosts.
And that is why that FCC guy, who also had no friends, was threatening the broadcast channels to fire Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, and Seth Meyers.
And it worked because ABC was forced to pull Jimmy Kimmel Live on Wednesday, when Nexstar and Sinclair wanted something out of trump’s mom, I mean, the FCC.
And since the four shows are sick of this bullshit, they decided to make a mockery of trump that is worse than anything they have ever done before. Because if you come for one of them, you have come for all of them. And they are also smarter than trump because he doesn’t get sarcasm and humor. Shhh! Don’t tell him or his paid friends that. It is our dirty little secret.
And one more thing. What trump and his paid friends who use him have not figured out is that you can get them fired from broadcast, where they have some constraints in the classroom. But the second they are free on the courtyard, they can do whatever they want. And they will.
Please understand, I HATE bullies. I take them down. It is so much fun. So don’t be a trump, be a late night host.
For years, donald trump has said that he has wanted to get Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel fired. And it looks like he has found a way to do that.
However, there was something he did not account for, and that is that Colbert is that The Late Show host still has seven months left on his contract. Therefore, he can say and do whatever he wants because what are they going to do, fire him? They already did that.
So when Colbert heard that Jimmy Kimmel Live is suspended indefinitely, he and his staff knew they had to go after the dick-tator wannabe. And they did.
They changed up the lyrics to Beauty and the Beast’s Be Our Guest to be all about the orange one. And he is not going to like it. Because, as they say, the truth hurts, and this was very truthful.
Just like the original tune, this one is very catchy. So catchy, I cannot stop singing it.
