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Jacob Elordi kisses and tells about the stunt penises on Euphoria
August 18th, 2021 under Jimmy Kimmel. [ Comments: none ]

Jacob Elordi made his in-person talk show debut on Jimmy Kimmel Live yesterday with Modern Family’s Julie Bowen as a host.

At the end of the interview, she asked The Kissing Booth star if they use stunt penises on Euphoria since there is so much nudity on it. “Eric’s [Dane] penis is not his real penis. It is a stunt penis,” he said. “When you come into the makeup trailer, they’re all kind of set up.”

Why are they being held there? Because the makeup artists have to give them a makeover so that they look like the real thing. Is it wrong that I want that job? How do I get the job?

Oh, and I am assuming that the merkins are all in the hair trailer. That would make sense, right?

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Jimmy Kimmel Live’s Guillermo Diaz has COVID-19
August 12th, 2021 under Jimmy Kimmel. [ Comments: 1 ]

Jimmy Kimmel has been missing from his show because he is on summer vacation. He is not the only one who is not there; his sidekick Guillermo Diaz is nowhere to be seen for the last week.

Where is our favorite security guard? He is home recovering from COVID-19. Yesterday, he appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live from his home, and he talked to Sarah Silverman about what it has been like. He said that his whole body hurt, including his “balls” hurt, and he had a fever. He is feeling better now, thankfully.

Diaz also said that his doctor told him if he wasn’t vaccinated, then chances are he would be in the hospital on a ventilator. Instead of being bored at home because he says, “I cannot drink. I cannot smoke weed. I cannot have sex.” However, that hasn’t stopped him from eating healthy food like pizza and donuts.

I am glad he is on the mend because he is so lovable, and we need more people like him. He is Jimmy Kimmel Live, not the show’s namesake.

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Jason Momoa can make ironing look sexy AF
July 9th, 2021 under Anthony Anderson, Jason Momoa, Jimmy Kimmel. [ Comments: none ]

Jimmy Kimmel is out fishing for the summer, so Anthony Anderson is filling in for him. The black-ish star caught himself a fish, or should I say Aquaman?

If you are going to have Jason Momoa on your show, then you are going to want to get him wet. Therefore the late night host asked him if he could make things sexy. As soon as Momoa heard that, he ignored the studio’s request to keep his clothes on and took off his shirt. Now, I was wet.

Back to the game. Sorry, I got distracted by his muscular chest. Anyways, the first thing ordinary thing he had to try to make extraordinary was putting on hand sanitizer. He put a little on his hands, but the rest he let cascade down on his beard and chest.

Next up, he was asked to open a can of tuna in a way that would turn the ladies on. So he crushed the can open with his arm muscles, and then he poured the juice in his mouth. It got all over him. And I never knew tuna could be so erotic, but it is.

Oh, and he better be careful when he films Aquaman 2 because the tuna might want to get revenge on him for this.

Finally, he had to iron a shirt, and all I will say is that Lisa Bonet is a very lucky woman.

Good thing this segment aired at night because it is not safe for daytime. Although, I might change my mind if they gave him a show earlier in the day where all he does is make the mundane orgasmic. Would you watch it?

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Jimmy Kimmel has gone fishing for the summer
June 25th, 2021 under Jimmy Kimmel. [ Comments: 3 ]

(ABC/Randy Holmes)

Last year, Jimmy Kimmel took the summer off because of the pandemic. This year, he is doing the same.

Since the show must go on, it will with guest hosts. Starting on July 6th, Wanda Sykes, Nick Kroll, David Spade, Anthony Mackie, Sarah Silverman, Arsenio Hall, Julie Bowen, Maren Morris, Phoebe Robinson, Niall Horan, and many more will be sitting in his chair.

However, the cushiest job is going to Anthony Anderson. He will be coming off of the bench to fill in for Kimmel for the Jimmy Kimmel Live: NBA Finals Game Night episode. Any basketball would want the job, and the black-ish star got the title.

When it comes to Kimmel, I have a feeling that next year will be his final year of hosting the ABC late night talk show. Whenever they start bringing in replacements, it feels like the host is ready to move on. I could be wrong; we will find out.

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Jimmy Kimmel’s daughter wins Father’s Day!
June 20th, 2021 under Jimmy Kimmel. [ Comments: none ]

Jimmy Kimmel’s daughter Jane made her dad a card for Father’s Day, and there is no doubt that the 6-year-old is his kid.

Not only did she spell Fathers as Farter, but she drew sperm next to a dick and balls.

I think Jane is at the age where she can get revenge on her dad for all of the kids whose Halloweens he destroyed. Go get him, Jane.

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