Have you ever wanted to ride the same dick as Ariana Grande, Kate Beckinsale, Phoebe Dynevor, and possibly Kim Kardashian? Then your wish can come true, thanks to CamSoda. That is because they made a dildo full of tattoos in honor of Pete Davidson.
Not only is it inked like him, but it can be synched to gyrate during his appearances on Saturday Night Live. Thanks to Teledildonics technology, you can SNL & Thrill. It’s the only way to get you excited for an episode of the variety show.
If they really wanted to sell out of Teledidonics dildos, then they should create one for Sam Heughan and have it go off during his Outlander scenes. There wouldn’t be a battery left in any store if they did.
Yesterday when Jeff Bezos flew up into space with his rocketship, people couldn’t help but to notice how phallic it looked.
As soon as CamSoda saw it, a lightbulb went off in their heads. They said let’s make dildos in the shape of Elon Musk, Richard Branson, and Bezos’ penis substitutes and call the line Billionaire Space Race. You know, because we like to cum into money. An old joke that still works.
“Right now billionaires are getting off by going to space in their rockets. With our line of Billionaire Flesh Rockets, people who can’t afford a ticket aboard the VSS Unity, Blue Origin or Elon’s SpaceX rocket can get off in a different way and penetrate the o-zone,” said CamSoda VP Daryn Parker. “Go boldly into where no one’s gone before, explore Uranus and maybe even have a close encounter of the pantless kind. Screw being pluton-ic! Grab your Billionaire Flesh Rocket today.”
The three sex toys are being rushed into production and will be available for pre-sale soon.
Which one do you want to take for a ride? I am going with the biggest figurative dick of the three and choosing the Blue Orgasm. Then again, Space Sex should be able to drive itself. However, sometimes we all need a Virgin…
Gwyneth Paltrow thinks she is funny. She is probably the only person who thinks that.
Here she is trying to sell her double-sided vibrator that is available on Goop. She says to the guy, “Are you really going to stick that vibrator in my face for the rest of the…” He interrupts her to say, “It’s a vibrator?” Isn’t that hilarious? I can’t stop laughing.
What she should have said, is “I know you don’t use vibrators, but you are aiming for the wrong hole.” Or “Are you going to hold my vibrator like that because I just used it, and it smells like my candle?” Or “What do you think of my little toy, just like Double Mint gum? It’s double the pleasure, double the fun.” Or, “What do you think of my double-sided wand? It does magical things in my vagina.”
Back in April, an orthodox married man I know told me he bought a Fleshlight to get through the coronavirus pandemic. He is not alone. A lot of people have been doing the same. More than normal amount of people who usually buy them. Therefore, it makes sense that the ladies from The Real talked about their recent purchases like The Switch.
Ever since the lockdown happened, Jeannie Mai has been living with her mom and fiance’ Jeezy in the same small house. That makes things a little difficult for the newly betrothed couple. They have to hide their rabbits and such from Mama Mai. However, she keeps finding them, and they have to come up with new excuses for what the toys are that she finds.
Personally, I think they should tell her about some of the contraptions they have. Maybe she will want to own one of them so that she can play with it when they are playing with theirs. Although, no child wants to have that discussion with their mom! No matter how open their relationship is with each other.
Have you ever had the sex toy talk with your mom? I haven’t, but I did have the condom talk with my dad.
