Seriously? OMG! WTF?Sex Toys Archives - Seriously? OMG! WTF?
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Virtual Mate will pay Kim Kardashian $1 million to be one of their virtual mates
October 15th, 2019 under Sex Toys, The Kardashians. [ Comments: none ]


Jeffrey Dillon has come up (no pun intended) with a way to revolutionize the adult sex toy industry with Virtual Mate. He has created an experience where you can see and feel like you are with a woman without having one in the room with you. Men, it is such an intimate experience, it will make you put your FleshLights down.

This amazing technology is still in the crowdfunding stage. That means you can get it at a really great price if you preorder it now. Not only can you get it for a good rate, but they are also still looking for models to be their virtual mates. When asked which celebrity men would want to be on their service, Kim Kardashian won the contest hands down (their pants).

Therefore, they are willing to give her $1,000,000 to be their celebrity model. What does she have to do for the 7 digits? All they are need are two things. First and foremost they need to get a licensing agreement in place. Second, they just need to film Kim in their motion-capture suit. Then they can create a younger version of Kim and a current version of Kim so her fans can interact with either character or both at the same time!

I am sure that Kanye West is not the only one who would not mind having a three-way with the current Kim and her younger self. When it comes to her younger self, she has already made a sex tape that made her, so why wouldn’t she do this? At least this time she is getting paid the big bucks upfront to do it. Literally!

Then cum, I mean come, early 2020, she, if she says yes, will be available for you to play with.

Still a little confused? Virtual Mate is the world’s first virtual intimacy system, containing realistic virtual mate gaming for PCs, tablets, smartphones, and VR headsets. You can choose between Fast Mode, Story Mode or VR Mode.

The best part for you men is that you will be able to be handsfree. Which means you can do with them whatever you want.

When it comes to us ladies, someday soon we will have our own Virtual Mate. Then we get to decide who they should spend a million dollars on. Who to pick?

So men, make sure to get gift receipts for all the holiday gifts you get. This way you can return those presents and get the gift that keeps on giving joy all year round. What man doesn’t want someone who is willing to give it to him whenever he wants it when he wants it. Best part, she never gets a headache.

I would ask, what’s next. However, I think they will keep us occupied for a while.

Sex toys have cum a long way baby!

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Amber Rose’s Psycho spoof has a surprise twist!
April 5th, 2018 under Amber Rose, Sex Toys. [ Comments: 3 ]

A post shared by Amber Rose (@amberrose) on


Amber Rose shot a commercial in the shower that is reminiscent of the iconic shower scene in the horror movie Psycho. What company would ask her do that? Her own because it is for her line of sex toys by Lelo. By the looks of her face, she is really enjoying it. Almost as much as the boys watching it.

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Why did The Real’s Jeannie Mai’s mom send her 150 blow up love dolls?
February 1st, 2018 under Sex Toys, The Real. [ Comments: none ]


Jeannie Mai got a package from Amazon and inside was something shocking. Actually, 150 shocking things. Someone sent her package of 150 blow up sex dolls and she did not know who sent them. So she told her The Real co-hosts that she sent the box back and did not keep any of them. Much to Loni Love’s despair for “her friend”.

Then a few days later, her mom asked if she got a package with a doll that has an open mouth. Of course, the daughter wanted to know why her mom sent them. Mama Mai gifted them to her because her daughter is divorcing, and not for the reason you think. She was all prepared to blow them up, so it did not look like Jeannie was home alone and was always having a party. Which is really sweet if you think about.

I might take the one out of my car, that I use to ride in the car pool lane, and put in my bedroom so it looks like I finally have a man in there. And since he is a sex doll, I can pretend I have one too. Win/win.

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This song was created by using just sex toys!
November 9th, 2017 under Sex Toys. [ Comments: none ]


Pornhub is now selling a line of sex toys and they came up with an interesting way to let people know about them. They asked Perlita to come up with a theme song for them but with one condition. They could only use their products to make the music. They were more than excited to do it. Therefore, they picked up some vibrators, butt plugs, strokers and floggers and put down a tune that is unlike anything you have heard before and will ever hear again. But it is a great song to listen when you are playing with all of the above or that someone special to get you in the mood.

It will not make the Billboard charts, but it will definitely to top our charts. Unless you are a bottom! Ba da bump.

And with all of that, you now know what to get that special person in your life for Christmas who you never know what to give them as a gift.

Finally, how long until Jimmy Fallon tries this on The Tonight Show. He’s tried classroom instruments and office supplies, now it is time for him to add sex toy to list. How hot would that be?

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With a sex toy like this, men will never leave the house ever again
June 21st, 2017 under Sex Toys. [ Comments: none ]


Sex Toys have come a long way for men since the blowup doll. There has been the cock ring, penis pumps and Fleshlights. While those were all fine and dandy, and got the job done, none of them have anything on the 3Fap.

What is the 3Fap and why will it keep men home once they get one? It is “the first sex toy that will incorporate an individual female model’s mouth, vulva, and anus onto one product, allowing you to experience multi-orifice sex.” Each hole has a different feel, the mouth is zig-zagged, the vajayjay is ribbed for his pleasure and the the butt hole is tight and smooth. If that is not enough for you guys, like a Dyson vacuum cleaner, it has the perfect amount of suction.

How much does the best adult toy ever created for men cost? Appropriately $69! If you don’t want to have 3 different type of holes to play with. It also comes with three of the same homes to cum in. You can feel like you are at an orgy or a Rainbow party without actually have to leave your house.

Don’t know what to get that special man in your life for his birthday or Christmas or your anniversary? Now you do. Get him the 3Fap. He will never leave home.

Ladies, why can’t we get a toy like that? How about three different sized vibrators? Could you imagine? The starter, the climaxer and the one that hits it out of the park like Barry Bonds. Although, we will have a much different bond with that bat!

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