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CamSoda made sex toys for us to be thankful for on Thanksgiving
November 18th, 2021 under Sex Toys. [ Comments: none ]

CamSoda

We know that we are going to get stuffed next Thursday with food. However, would you also like to get stuffed with Thanksgiving-themed sex toys? If you do, then CamSoda gave you something to really be thankful for this holiday!

They are selling “The Turkey Baster” – Suction Vibrator – “The Gravy Boat” – Lubricant, “Body Butter” – Anal Gel, “The Turkey Trotter” – Vibrating Wand, “Wish Boned” – Dual G-Spot Stimulator, “Licking The Beater” – Oral Sex Lubricant, and “Corn on the Cob” – Wand Massager.

“Thanksgiving isn’t exactly known as the sexiest holiday, especially coupled with holiday-related stressors everywhere you look,” said Daryn Parker, VP of CamSoda. “That’s why CamSoda created something that helps even the most high strung people feel instant relief. These sex toys will last you all the way from Thanksgiving into the new year.”

If you use them before your sit down to eat, you will actually enjoy spending time with your family, especially if you use the corn on the cob sleeve. I really want to try that and put the flavored lubes on the guy I am messing around with. For once, he will literally slide in like it’s butter and taste that way too! What more does a girl want and need? Oh, yeah, not to gain any weight between now and the new year. That ain’t gonna happen. But at least you can have an orgasm to ring in the New Year every day with these festive adult toys!

Which toys are you going to buy so you have a reason to say thank you, thank you, thank you on Turkey Day?

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Did you know you can buy sex toys at a pet store?
November 8th, 2021 under Sex Toys. [ Comments: none ]

Are you sick of spending lots of money at adult toy shops? Well, you can save some bones if you do your shopping at a pet store.

What? Sarahbartell showed us how you can get the same toys in the dog toy section that you get in the dildo one for a fraction of the price. Who knew?

Maybe they should move those toys to the cat section because they also make a pussy happy.

Oh, and pet stores don’t only sell dildos. They also have ropes to tie you up, butt plugs, whips, vibrating collars, lube, and cock rings. It has everything!

I really hope Chewy doesn’t judge me for my recent order. I can’t be the only one who wants to make her pussy purr!

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There is a Pete Davidson dildo that gyrates when he’s on SNL
November 4th, 2021 under Pete Davidson, Sex Toys. [ Comments: none ]

Have you ever wanted to ride the same dick as Ariana Grande, Kate Beckinsale, Phoebe Dynevor, and possibly Kim Kardashian? Then your wish can come true, thanks to CamSoda. That is because they made a dildo full of tattoos in honor of Pete Davidson.

Not only is it inked like him, but it can be synched to gyrate during his appearances on Saturday Night Live. Thanks to Teledildonics technology, you can SNL & Thrill. It’s the only way to get you excited for an episode of the variety show.

If they really wanted to sell out of Teledidonics dildos, then they should create one for Sam Heughan and have it go off during his Outlander scenes. There wouldn’t be a battery left in any store if they did.

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Ladies, there is finally a calendar for us!
October 6th, 2021 under Sex Toys. [ Comments: none ]

Wood Rocket

We know that men have those naughty pinup wall calendars that give them new spank material every month of the year. But, us ladies do not have one.

Well, that should be past tense because Wood Rocket is giving us one with Nice Dicks for 2022.

Now, I know what I am giving my girl friends for the holidays because they all need one of those!

Oh, and if anyone wants to buy me one, I would greatly appreciate it.

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Which billionaire’s rocket ship dildo do you want to ride into the O?
July 21st, 2021 under Sex Toys. [ Comments: none ]

Yesterday when Jeff Bezos flew up into space with his rocketship, people couldn’t help but to notice how phallic it looked.

As soon as CamSoda saw it, a lightbulb went off in their heads. They said let’s make dildos in the shape of Elon Musk, Richard Branson, and Bezos’ penis substitutes and call the line Billionaire Space Race. You know, because we like to cum into money. An old joke that still works.

“Right now billionaires are getting off by going to space in their rockets. With our line of Billionaire Flesh Rockets, people who can’t afford a ticket aboard the VSS Unity, Blue Origin or Elon’s SpaceX rocket can get off in a different way and penetrate the o-zone,” said CamSoda VP Daryn Parker. “Go boldly into where no one’s gone before, explore Uranus and maybe even have a close encounter of the pantless kind. Screw being pluton-ic! Grab your Billionaire Flesh Rocket today.”

The three sex toys are being rushed into production and will be available for pre-sale soon.

Which one do you want to take for a ride? I am going with the biggest figurative dick of the three and choosing the Blue Orgasm. Then again, Space Sex should be able to drive itself. However, sometimes we all need a Virgin…

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