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Gwyneth Paltrow has a new vagina candle
January 20th, 2022 under Gwyneth Paltrow. [ Comments: none ]

Gwyneth Paltrow/Instagram

It has been almost two years since Gwyneth Paltrow introduced us to a candle that smells like her vagina. Now, she has a new one, and it is called Hands Off My Vagina.

With a name like that, you would think it would smell awful. But it is quite the opposite. GOOP describes it as “Coconut milk and Damascena roses are balanced with raw vanilla, clean notes of hinoki cypress, and hints of toasted cacao for added depth and sensuality.” Doesn’t it smell good enough to eat like, well, you know, a vagina?

Anyways, this $75 candle was created for a good cause. $25 from each one sold will go to the ACLU Foundation’s Reproductive Freedom Project to protect a woman’s right to choose what she does with her reproductive system since several states and members of the Supreme Court are trying to take that right away. If only they had vaginas instead of micropenises, they would understand why we are fighting so hard to protect our right to do what we want with our bodies.

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Is Gwyneth Paltrow really 49?
September 28th, 2021 under Are they really their age?, Gwyneth Paltrow, Taking a bath. [ Comments: none ]

Yesterday was Gwyneth Paltrow’s 49th birthday. So she celebrated it by sharing a photo of herself in her birthday suit in a bathtub.

Do you think she looks like someone who is a year away from turning 50? I would ask what her secret is, but we all know it is the latest trend on GOOP.

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Gwyneth Paltrow never looked better
June 24th, 2021 under Gwyneth Paltrow. [ Comments: none ]

GOOP/Instagram

Gwyneth Paltrow is all about the facemasks that she is selling on GOOP. Therefore, she modeled one of them for us. I think she looks great, but that could be because we don’t see her face. What do you think?

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The Kardashians are going to get their hands dirty on HGTV
May 24th, 2021 under Gwyneth Paltrow, HGTV, Howie Mandel, Josh Groban, Kevin Hart, LeAnn Rimes, The Kardashians. [ Comments: none ]

HGTV

Celebrity IOU is returning to HGTV on June 21st, and it is going to be another star-studded season. Several celebrities are going to join Drew and Johnathan Scott to renovate the home of someone they care about.

The celebs appearing on the show this season are Kris Jenner, Kim Kardashian West and Kendall Jenner, LeAnne Rhimes, Kevin Hart, Gwyneth Paltrow, Darren Criss, Josh Groban, Ali Wong, and Howie Mandel.

“Drew and I continue to be humbled by how many of these huge celebrities entrust us to be a part of their personal acts of kindness,” said Jonathan. “They can’t wait to roll up their sleeves and make these new spaces a reality as quickly as possible. The projects—and the fun—just keep getting bigger.”

“Each new story of thanks and appreciation makes such a huge impression on us,” said Drew. “That’s the magic of Celebrity IOU. We all want to give back to the people we love, and seeing others do just that brings out all the good emotions.”

Most people are going to tune for the emotions. Not me. I am going to watch it to see them suffer as they try to use tools to renovate the houses.

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Gwyneth Paltrow is so funny
April 29th, 2021 under Gwyneth Paltrow, Sex Toys. [ Comments: none ]

Gwyneth Paltrow thinks she is funny. She is probably the only person who thinks that.

Here she is trying to sell her double-sided vibrator that is available on Goop. She says to the guy, “Are you really going to stick that vibrator in my face for the rest of the…” He interrupts her to say, “It’s a vibrator?” Isn’t that hilarious? I can’t stop laughing.

What she should have said, is “I know you don’t use vibrators, but you are aiming for the wrong hole.” Or “Are you going to hold my vibrator like that because I just used it, and it smells like my candle?” Or “What do you think of my little toy, just like Double Mint gum? It’s double the pleasure, double the fun.” Or, “What do you think of my double-sided wand? It does magical things in my vagina.”

Now you go and show her what funny is?

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