Ellen DeGeneres is not going to turn 65 until January, but she has already turned into a senior citizen. First, she retired from her talk show last month. This month, she is making shower chairs with her wife, Portia de Rossi.
At this rate, the comedian will be eating early bird dinners at Denny’s and harassing her neighbors as she tries to mow them in her golf cart even though there are no nearby golf courses. Someone call Shady Pines because she is ready to move in.
Have you ever wondered how to make Kim Kardashian go away? Well, Ellen DeGeneres figured it out on her talk show today.
Kim suffers from arachnophobia. Therefore, if she sees a spider, she runs away from it faster than Kanye West’s fans run towards Yeezys.
So, where are the Horror movie producers when you need them? Can one of them come up with a spider movie and have her star in it. Just don’t tell her what the creature feature is about. And just like how they used real worms in Squirm, they can use real spiders!
Wanda Sykes is going to be on The Ellen DeGeneres Show on April 7th, but she taped her appearance yesterday. The first question Ellen asked her was about the slap heard around the world at the Oscars.
Sykes told the host she was preparing to do a costume change when Will Smith slapped Chris Rock, so she didn’t see it happen. However, everyone backstage was in shock and could not believe what had just transpired, including the Oscars host.
Sykes said when she was shown what happened, she said she “just felt so awful for my friend Chris. And it was sickening, absolutely sickening. I physically felt ill, and I’m still a little traumatized by it.”
She was also sickened by the fact that the Academy let Smith stay at the Oscars and accept his award for Best Actor. She thought, “how gross is this. This is the wrong message.”
Had AMPAS made the correct decision to kick him out, Sykes would’ve joked, “Will couldn’t be here tonight…”
Then Sykes added that she thinks Smith owes her, Amy Schumer, and Regina Hall an apology because the three of them “worked really hard to put that show together.” And with in less than one minute, he destroyed everything that they did that night.
While Smith did not apologize to her, Rock did. Sykes says that she saw Rock at a party, and “the first thing he said was, ‘I’m so sorry.’ I am like, ‘Why are you apologizing?’ He’s like, ‘It was supposed to be your night. You, and Amy and Regina, y’all were doing such a great job; I’m so sorry this is now going to be about this.’ Because that’s who Chris is.”
Syke’s cohost Schumer also weighed in with, “Still triggered and traumatized. I love my friend @chrisrock and believe he handled it like a pro. Stayed up there and gave an Oscar to his friend @questlove and the whole thing was so disturbing. So much pain in @willsmith anyway I’m still in shock and stunned and sad. Im proud of myself and my cohosts. But yeah. Waiting for this sickening feeling to go away from what we all witnessed.”
When Smith comes out of hiding, he is going to need to do a lot of apologizing, along with soul searching. I hope he is doing the latter because he has rightfully burned a lot of bridges.
Samuel L. Jackson likes to use curse words when he acts, especially the phrase Mother F*cker. However, not every channel can air that phrase during the broadcasting of his movies. Therefore, he has to come up with new phrases that are PG for the TV networks that can’t use words like that.
Today when Jackson was on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, he told Leslie Jones, who was filling for Ellen, what substitutions he uses MoFo. They are monkey fighter, Marilyn Farmer, and my friend. The latter is the best one because it is like bless your heart.
