Seriously? OMG! WTF?The Kardashians Archives - Seriously? OMG! WTF?
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Virtual Mate will pay Kim Kardashian $1 million to be one of their virtual mates
October 15th, 2019 under Sex Toys, The Kardashians. [ Comments: none ]


Jeffrey Dillon has come up (no pun intended) with a way to revolutionize the adult sex toy industry with Virtual Mate. He has created an experience where you can see and feel like you are with a woman without having one in the room with you. Men, it is such an intimate experience, it will make you put your FleshLights down.

This amazing technology is still in the crowdfunding stage. That means you can get it at a really great price if you preorder it now. Not only can you get it for a good rate, but they are also still looking for models to be their virtual mates. When asked which celebrity men would want to be on their service, Kim Kardashian won the contest hands down (their pants).

Therefore, they are willing to give her $1,000,000 to be their celebrity model. What does she have to do for the 7 digits? All they are need are two things. First and foremost they need to get a licensing agreement in place. Second, they just need to film Kim in their motion-capture suit. Then they can create a younger version of Kim and a current version of Kim so her fans can interact with either character or both at the same time!

I am sure that Kanye West is not the only one who would not mind having a three-way with the current Kim and her younger self. When it comes to her younger self, she has already made a sex tape that made her, so why wouldn’t she do this? At least this time she is getting paid the big bucks upfront to do it. Literally!

Then cum, I mean come, early 2020, she, if she says yes, will be available for you to play with.

Still a little confused? Virtual Mate is the world’s first virtual intimacy system, containing realistic virtual mate gaming for PCs, tablets, smartphones, and VR headsets. You can choose between Fast Mode, Story Mode or VR Mode.

The best part for you men is that you will be able to be handsfree. Which means you can do with them whatever you want.

When it comes to us ladies, someday soon we will have our own Virtual Mate. Then we get to decide who they should spend a million dollars on. Who to pick?

So men, make sure to get gift receipts for all the holiday gifts you get. This way you can return those presents and get the gift that keeps on giving joy all year round. What man doesn’t want someone who is willing to give it to him whenever he wants it when he wants it. Best part, she never gets a headache.

I would ask, what’s next. However, I think they will keep us occupied for a while.

Sex toys have cum a long way baby!

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Kylie Jenner needs her space from Travis Scott
October 2nd, 2019 under The Kardashians. [ Comments: none ]


There have been rumors that Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott have split and today a source to Eonline.com that “Kylie and Travis aren’t officially calling it quits on their relationship, but are taking space apart.”

They added that the couple has been fighting over little things and it was best not to be together at this time. Even though they are not seeing each other, he is still allowed to see their daughter Stormi, 1.

He better get his act together because now that she is almost on the market, men are going to want to date the youngest self-made billionaire. Sh!t, even I want to date her for the money and I am a woman who likes men.

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Kim Kardashian peed on herself at an Emmys
September 12th, 2019 under Jimmy Fallon, The Kardashians. [ Comments: 4 ]


Kim Kardashian just released a line of shapewear undergarments and she wondered if she should add a pee hole to them.

How do we know this? Yesterday, when she was in The Tonight Show, she and Jimmy Fallon played Show Me Your Phone. They are asked to reveal a different thing from their phone and they have to show it to the audience. She was tasked to show us what was the last she searched.

She Googled, “Is Shapewear with pee hole better?” Why did she want to know this? She has used some with the pee hole and it left her all wet. When she wore a pair at an Emmys with one, she got more urine on herself than in the toilet. It did not work for her, but would it work for others? That is what Google is for because you can find anything and everything on there.

Should she have a pee hole? I say yes because when you gotta go, you gotta go. Getting out of your shapewear is not easy and you just need it off of you.

Hey Kim, I think I have a design that can make it work. Email me and I will tell you my idea for a price!

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What did Jimmy Fallon describe as ‘smaller than you think’?
September 6th, 2019 under Jimmy Fallon, The Kardashians. [ Comments: none ]


Yesterday on The Tonight Show, Jimmy Fallon and Kendall Jenner played Pour It Out. The game is quite simple. There are three shots on top of coasters. On those coasters is a question. They have to answer the question out loud that they just read to themselves. Then after they do that, they have to reveal the question to the audience or drink the shot.

Jenner’s questions were boring. However, the NBC host gave an answer that he had no choice but the reveal the question. That is because his answer was “smaller than you think.” Which made us all think he was referring to his microphone. And I am not talking the one he talks into.

But that was not the question. He was describing what it was like when he first saw Madonna. When it comes to that other thing, he said it is “tiny and perfect,” just like Madonna.

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Ryan Seacrest clogged up Kris Jenner’s toilet and left it there.
June 27th, 2019 under Kelly Ripa, Ryan Seacrest, The Kardashians. [ Comments: 4 ]


Ryan Seacrest told Kelly Ripa on Live with Kelly and Ryan that one time he went to visit the Kardashians and he had to go to the bathroom. He went into their high tech, all black powder room with an electric toilet. When he was done, he went to flush. There was only one problem, he could not find the button to do it.

Finally, after some searching he found it. After he pressed it, the water started to back up. What was he going to do? He reached in to get the toilet paper and whatever else was out, so the water would go down and not up. When it stopped, he bolted out of there and left it as.

Now I am pretty sure, they all call him Little 💩 behind his back. Unless he left a big 💩 in the porcelain Gd. I mean, it had to poop and not a piss, right?

When it comes to leaving it there, they can’t get mad at him. If it was not for him, they would not be able to pay for that overpriced John. After all that Little 💩 produces Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

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