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Ellen DeGeneres found a way to make Kim Kardashian disappear
April 13th, 2022 under Ellen DeGeneres, The Kardashians. [ Comments: none ]

Have you ever wondered how to make Kim Kardashian go away? Well, Ellen DeGeneres figured it out on her talk show today.

Kim suffers from arachnophobia. Therefore, if she sees a spider, she runs away from it faster than Kanye West’s fans run towards Yeezys.

So, where are the Horror movie producers when you need them? Can one of them come up with a spider movie and have her star in it. Just don’t tell her what the creature feature is about. And just like how they used real worms in Squirm, they can use real spiders!

I would pay to see that!!! Would you?

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Wanda Sykes thinks it was ‘gross’ that the Academy let Will Smith stay
March 30th, 2022 under Chris Rock, Ellen DeGeneres, Oscars, Wanda Sykes, Will Smith. [ Comments: none ]

Wanda Sykes is going to be on The Ellen DeGeneres Show on April 7th, but she taped her appearance yesterday. The first question Ellen asked her was about the slap heard around the world at the Oscars.

Sykes told the host she was preparing to do a costume change when Will Smith slapped Chris Rock, so she didn’t see it happen. However, everyone backstage was in shock and could not believe what had just transpired, including the Oscars host.

Sykes said when she was shown what happened, she said she “just felt so awful for my friend Chris. And it was sickening, absolutely sickening. I physically felt ill, and I’m still a little traumatized by it.”

She was also sickened by the fact that the Academy let Smith stay at the Oscars and accept his award for Best Actor. She thought, “how gross is this. This is the wrong message.”

Had AMPAS made the correct decision to kick him out, Sykes would’ve joked, “Will couldn’t be here tonight…”

Then Sykes added that she thinks Smith owes her, Amy Schumer, and Regina Hall an apology because the three of them “worked really hard to put that show together.” And with in less than one minute, he destroyed everything that they did that night.

While Smith did not apologize to her, Rock did. Sykes says that she saw Rock at a party, and “the first thing he said was, ‘I’m so sorry.’ I am like, ‘Why are you apologizing?’ He’s like, ‘It was supposed to be your night. You, and Amy and Regina, y’all were doing such a great job; I’m so sorry this is now going to be about this.’ Because that’s who Chris is.”

Syke’s cohost Schumer also weighed in with, “Still triggered and traumatized. I love my friend @chrisrock and believe he handled it like a pro. Stayed up there and gave an Oscar to his friend @questlove and the whole thing was so disturbing. So much pain in @willsmith anyway I’m still in shock and stunned and sad. Im proud of myself and my cohosts. But yeah. Waiting for this sickening feeling to go away from what we all witnessed.”

When Smith comes out of hiding, he is going to need to do a lot of apologizing, along with soul searching. I hope he is doing the latter because he has rightfully burned a lot of bridges.

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What are Samuel L. Jackson’s substitute words for Mother F*cker?
March 25th, 2022 under Ellen DeGeneres, Leslie Jones, Samuel L Jackson. [ Comments: none ]

Samuel L. Jackson likes to use curse words when he acts, especially the phrase Mother F*cker. However, not every channel can air that phrase during the broadcasting of his movies. Therefore, he has to come up with new phrases that are PG for the TV networks that can’t use words like that.

Today when Jackson was on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, he told Leslie Jones, who was filling for Ellen, what substitutions he uses MoFo. They are monkey fighter, Marilyn Farmer, and my friend. The latter is the best one because it is like bless your heart.

What do you use for alternatives for curse words?

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Proof Leslie Jones and Leslie Jordan are not the same person
March 25th, 2022 under Ellen DeGeneres, Leslie Jones, Leslie Jordan, Not The Same Person. [ Comments: none ]

When ABC announced that Leslie Jordan was going to announce the Oscar nominees, I joked that they messed up and called him by accident because they really wanted Leslie Jones. Unfortunately for Jones, the person making the calls dialed the wrong Leslie.

I came up with the joke because sometimes I confuse the Leslies. I mean, one is a tall Black woman, and the other is a short white man. Wait that makes them different. But what makes them alike is that their first name is Leslie, and they both have a common last name that starts with a Jo.

So thank you to The Ellen Degeneres Show to help us differentiate between the two of them.

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Amy Schumer is turning into Ellen DeGeneres
March 25th, 2022 under Amy Schumer, Ellen DeGeneres. [ Comments: none ]

Amy Schumer was on The Ellen DeGeneres Show today, and she looked exactly like the host. Why? She wants the departing host’s job. Can you blame her? It is easy money.

Well, that and she thought it was funny. Did it make you laugh?

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