Kevin Smith was anything but Silent Bob yesterday when he was thrown off a Southwest flight from Oakland to Burbank because the pilot thought his weight was a flight risk. The pilot didn’t know who he was messing with, but thanks to all of Kevin Smith’s Tweets he now knows what a huge a$$ mistake he made.
Dear @SouthwestAir – I know I’m fat, but was Captain Leysath really justified in throwing me off a flight for which I was already seated?
Dear @SouthwestAir, I flew out in one seat, but right after issuing me a standby ticket, Oakland Southwest attendant Suzanne (wouldn’t give ast name) told me Captain Leysath deemed me a “safety risk”. Again: I’m way fat… But I’m not THERE just yet. But if I am, why wait til my bag is up, and I’m seated WITH ARM RESTS DOWN. In front of a packed plane with a bunch of folks who’d already I.d.ed me as “Silent Bob.”
So, @SouthwestAir, go f*ck yourself. I broke no regulation, offered no “safety risk” (what, was I gonna roll on a fellow passenger?). I was wrongly ejected from the flight (even Suzanne eventually agreed). And f*ck your apologetic $100 voucher, @SouthwestAir. Thank God I don’t embarrass easily (bless you, JERSEY GIRL training). But I don’t sulk off either: so everyday, some new f*ck-you Tweets for @SouthwestAir.
Wanna tell me I’m too wide for the sky? Totally cool. But fair warning, folks: IF YOU LOOK LIKE ME, YOU MAY BE EJECTED FROM @SOUTHWESTAIR.
Dear @SouthwestAir, I’m on another one of your planes, safely seated & buckled-in again, waiting to be dragged off in front of the normies.
And, hey? @SouthwestAir? I didn’t even need a seat belt extender to buckle up. Somehow, that shit fit over my “safety concern”-creating gut.
Hey @SouthwestAir! Look how fat I am on your plane! Quick! Throw me off! (Pictured above)
Hey @SouthwestAir! Sometimes, the arm rests are up because THE PEOPLE SITTING THERE ALREADY PUT THEM UP; NOT BECAUSE THEY “CAN’T GO DOWN.”
The @SouthwestAir Diet. How it works: you’re publicly shamed into a slimmer figure. Crying the weight right off has never been easier!
Hey @SouthwestAir! I’ve landed in Burbank. Don’t worry: wall of the plane was opened & I was airlifted out while Richard Simmons supervised.
Hey @SouthwestAir? F*ck making it right for me just ’cause I have a platform. I sat next to a big girl who was chastised for not buying an extra ticket because “all passengers deserve their space.” Fucking flight wasn’t even full! Fuck your size-ist policy. Rude..
From Southewest Airline’s Twitter:
@ThatKevinSmith Ok, I’ll be sure to check it out. Hopefully you received our voicemail earlier this evening.
@ThatKevinSmith Again, I’m very sorry for the experience you had tonight. Please let me know if there is anything else I can do.
From Kevin Smith:
Via @SouthwestAir “Hopefully you received our voicemail earlier this evening” All lines checked, no voicemail message on any 323. Try again.
From Southwest Airlines:
@ThatKevinSmith We called you on the number you had on file in your reservation. If you prefer a different number, please DM me. Thanks!
Here is Southwest Airline’s shocking travel policy for “large customers” that sound like they were written by a skinny person who has a fat phobia.
No word yet if Southwest airlines and Kevin Smith have hooked up, but I would love to hear that phone call because you know he will do them what Shannen Doherty had done to her in Mallrats.
I have a feeling Kevin Smith won’t be flying Southwest to promote his movie Cop Out that comes out on February 26th.
BTW I wonder if the real reason the pilot threw him off of that flight was not because of his weight, but because he saw Jersey Girl? Sorry I had to go there, that movie was that bad.
UPDATE: Southwest Airlines just Tweeted this “Our apology to @ThatKevinSmith and more details regarding the events from last night – http://cot.ag/96KHC7”
Here is the part where they explained what happened, and you can read the rest on Southwest Airline blog.
Mr. Smith originally purchased two Southwest seats on a flight from Oakland to Burbank – as he’s been known to do when traveling on Southwest. He decided to change his plans and board an earlier flight to Burbank, which technically means flying standby. As you may know, airlines are not able to clear standby passengers until all Customers are boarded. When the time came to board Mr. Smith, we had only a single seat available for him to occupy. Our pilots are responsible for the Safety and comfort of all Customers on the aircraft and therefore, made the determination that Mr. Smith needed more than one seat to complete his flight. Our Employees explained why the decision was made, accommodated Mr. Smith on a later flight, and issued him a $100 Southwest travel voucher for his inconvenience.
I still think it was extremely wrong that he was booted from the flight, they should have asked the person/people he was sitting next to if they were uncomfortable before they removed him from the flight. I would rather sit next to a person with a few extra pounds than a person who smells (and I once had a very long flight from Miami to NYC because of that), but that is just me.
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The Big Bang Theory’s Kaley Cuoco attended an event yesterday and she looked like Sheldon styled her hair. The actress who is normally dressed to the nines looked worse for wear at the Grand Opening Of La Vida Restaurant To Benefit The American Red Cross Haitian Relief Efforts. Someone needs to buy her brush ASAP because that Big Bang of a mess is so not working for her.
Today is all about love, so for those of you who have a lover Happy Valentine’s Day to you! For those of you who don’t have a Valentine, but still believe in love Happy Valentine’s Day to you too!!!
And for those of you who are with a cheating bastard as your lover, Jimmy Kimmel has the perfect Valentine’s Day gift suggestion for you and them! I wonder if that is what Sarah Silverman got him last year…at least according to what the rumors might have suggested she would have gotten him?
Mark Wahlberg was on Jimmy Kimmel Live yesterday and instead of saying hi to his mother, he talked about his kids. He especially talked about his nearly 4 (next month) son, Micheal. When Jimmy asked him he changed diapers, he shared with him about how he had to help Michael make a poo and that when he was on the toilet his son told him, “You have to push my winky down” and he did. Thankfully Marky Mark is also teaching his son how to fight because when Michael grows up and his friends find this interview on YouTube he is going to need to know how to throw a punch or two.
It is Valentine’s Day and Jimmy Kimmel helped the OctoMom find her next sperm donor, I mean love on his show. OMG her laugh is so freaking annoying. I feel for her 14 kids having to hear that over and over again. Well that is just one of the many reasons why I feel bad for them.
Now back to the Dating Game, I loved the winner’s face when he realized his date would be the OctoMom. Poor guy probably took part in the game show because he thought he would finally get a date and he got one of the worst bachelorettes out there.
