After three days, Jimmy Kimmel rose up to the occasion, and he understood the assignment.
A week ago, Jimmy Kimmel Live was “preempted indefinitely” due to what is easily assumed to be pressure from an orange, thin-skinned man with a micro-stem.
His suspension was felt across the country as people debated what free speech and the First Amendment are, which some still don’t understand. But that is a whole other debate. And right now, America has a debating problem because people only want to hear their side and refuse to come to a middle ground.
However, yesterday, both sides went to YouTube after 11:35p EDT to hear what Kimmel said on his first night back from suspension. I would say they tuned into ABC, but Nexstar and Sinclair reportedly still need something from the FCC, so they are still not airing the late night talk show.
That is sad because their viewers missed out on a poignant monologue that was heartfelt at times, humorous at others, self-reflecting, honest, and uniting at others.
Plus, they didn’t get to see Robert De Niro do what that FCC wannabe tough guy wishes he could do. Only New Yorkers (and some people from Jersey) can threaten people without people knowing they are being threatened. He is from DC. He only knows how to threaten other politicians, and even they are like, “Girl, please.”
The other night on Late Night, Seth Meyers explained perfectly why donald trump is the butt of so many jokes. It is not because he is an ass, which he is. It is because, well, listen to what Seth (who I say is the best late night host currently on TV) has to say, and it will all make sense. So the only person hurting micro-stem is micro-stem, just like the only person touching his micro-stem is himself, because we know Melania ain’t Toad the Red Mushroom (thank you, Stormy Daniels, for the image) touching with an inch pole.
Before I start the story, I just had an epiphany. I love to psycho analyze people. And I have finally figured out something new about trump. He is the type of kid who was rightfully bullied because he was a dick. So, after school, he would run home to his look-alike mommy and cry about how much all the kids were mean to him. Then she would call the school, their parents, or both. And then those kids would hate him even more. He didn’t have any real friends. He only had the ones that his parents bought for him.
Even though it is over 70 years later, he still acts like that kid who wants to be liked. And in those 70 years, he still has not figured out that you have to be likable to be liked.
That brings me to present day. He feels that the late night hosts are being mean to him. He can’t run home to mommy (because she is dead), so instead, he goes to the FCC and has them go after the hosts.
And that is why that FCC guy, who also had no friends, was threatening the broadcast channels to fire Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, and Seth Meyers.
And it worked because ABC was forced to pull Jimmy Kimmel Live on Wednesday, when Nexstar and Sinclair wanted something out of trump’s mom, I mean, the FCC.
And since the four shows are sick of this bullshit, they decided to make a mockery of trump that is worse than anything they have ever done before. Because if you come for one of them, you have come for all of them. And they are also smarter than trump because he doesn’t get sarcasm and humor. Shhh! Don’t tell him or his paid friends that. It is our dirty little secret.
And one more thing. What trump and his paid friends who use him have not figured out is that you can get them fired from broadcast, where they have some constraints in the classroom. But the second they are free on the courtyard, they can do whatever they want. And they will.
Please understand, I HATE bullies. I take them down. It is so much fun. So don’t be a trump, be a late night host.
Seth Meyers takes questions from the audience during tapings of Late Night, and a woman wanted to know what was the favorite joke he told from his time on Saturday Night Live.
He did not answer that question. Instead, he told her about “the joke that bombed the hardest during dress [rehearsal].”
What is it? He put his head down in shame and said, “A man in Washington state was arrested for animal cruelty after he was caught having sex with the family dog. Even worse, it was makeup sex.” And then he giggled in his cute little way as the audience moaned.
“The thing I always love about it is how you all groaned at the end,” he explained. “But you kind of like waiting after. After ‘sex with the family dog’, let’s hear him out. We don’t know his reasons yet.”
This was his worst joke, but it was not his only one. His co-anchor, Amy Poehler, would try to tell him not to do certain jokes. He didn’t listen, told them, the audience hated them, and then she would say, “I told you so.”
I would love to know what some of them were. Someone should write a book or release the videos from dress telling or showing all the awful things that didn’t make it all the way to Saturday Night Live, they can call it Saturday Night Dead.
Seth Meyers’ Late Night segment, Day Drinking, is a late night favorite, so celebrities want to get drunk with him.
One of the celebrities is Henry Winkler. However, he told Meyers that there is one thing he cannot do if he were to do it. And that caveat is, he “can’t drink.” Winkler admitted that if he smelled alcohol, he would be down on the floor.
Therefore, Day Drinking is out. So, I have a suggestion for them. The two of them go Night Drinking. What does that entail? They start at midnight and keep drinking stronger and stronger coffees and energy drinks, and try to stay up. As time goes on, they get more delirious. Wouldn’t that be fun?
Jimmy Kimmel and Seth Meyers both want their late night shows to get the Emmy! Therefore, they are competing against each other for the gold statuette.
So what happens when the Late Night host appears on Jimmy Kimmel Live during the For Your Consideration campaign time? They get downright competitive. So competitive that they each created attack ads against the other one.
The first ones they used themselves to attack the other one. Kimmel called Meyers a drunk who doesn’t wear a suit and tie, while Meyers accused Kimmel of trying to murder Guillermo.
Those were mean, but it was about to get worse. Jimmy used Seth’s brother Josh, who is a regular on JKL as Gavin Newsom, against him. However, Seth played really dirty because he recruited Jimmy’s wife, Molly McNearney, for his ad.
It was ugly! But not as ugly when their five kids called them deadbeat dads who care more about awards than they do them.
They are not wrong. So, because of that, I think both men deserve the nominations more than Jon Stewart and John Oliver. How many more Emmys do they need? Share the wealth.
