Ever since Jimmy Kimmel Live’s first year, Jimmy Kimmel has had a feud with Matt Damon. So much so that the host has kicked the Oscar winner out of his studio every time he was able to sneak onto the set.
Every time, I have sided with Matt Damon, even when he was fucking Kimmel’s then-girlfriend, Sarah Silverman. However, yesterday, I was Team Kimmel.
JKL is in Brooklyn this week, and Damon decided to sit in the audience. The Brooklyn native mentioned that the NY Yankees are playing the Boston Red Sox. Then, he asked if there were any Boston fans there.
The Good Will Hunting star stood up and started screaming, “Go, Sox!” And this Bronx girl was like, “You come on my turf and say that shit? Someone is trying to be in the In Memoriam.” I don’t go to Boston and scream, “Go, Yankees!” But then again, why would I go to Boston again?
Anyways, back to the show. Kimmel had a brief interaction with him, and then called for security to remove the Masshole. And they did.
However, before they did, the actor said he was with family. Not his family, but Kimmel’s mom, Joann, and sister, Jill.
As he was being escorted out, he brought the two Kimmel women with him and declared, “You can keep me off the show. But you can’t keep me out of your mom.” And with that, he was redeemed. Because no matter how old a boy gets, Your Mama jokes are always funny. Back to being Team Matt Damon.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t remember what Homer is about, and the trailers for The Odyssey are not helping.
Therefore, The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon asked Matt Damon, Tom Holland, Anne Hathaway, Robert Pattinson, Zendaya, Charlize Theron, Jon Bernthal, and Lupita Nyong’o to share the plot with us. Not in spoken word, but in song.
So, sit back and listen to them narrate the theme of their blockbuster in tune.
Jimmy Kimmel is taking a months-long break, and donald trump has nothing to do with it this time.
While he is off, his archnemesis, Matt Damon, has a low-budget film coming out next month, and the Oscar winner wanted to promote The Odyssey on Jimmy Kimmel Live before Kimmel went fishing.
So, Matt Damon showed up in a wooden Trojan Horse and made sure that the host made time for him. And Kimmel had no choice but to accept his gift and have the actor on his show, much like the plot of the film.
Did Damon sign on to the epic film just so that he could recreate that moment? Of course not. Instead, he said, “I did the movie, so I could say that, ‘The horse is a Trojan, which is something your dad should have used on his little wiener, instead of having you.'”
Kimmel then defended the size of his dad’s penis, only to have Damon respond with, “Your mom said mine’s bigger.”
And with that, it was time for the two of them to settle it once and for all. How? By having a sword fight with pool noodles.
Who was victorious at the end of the battle? Jimmy Kimmel’s mom because she’s fucking Matt Damon!!!
Universal released the first full trailer for The Odyssey, and it looks as epic as the 2,500-year-old books it is based on.
However, like Avatar, which I have not seen, I see this as a feature you have to see in the theaters because it is spectacular and monumental, but you will walk out asking what the fuck was that about?
Christopher Nolan’s next film, The Odyssey, is a mythic action epic shot across the world using brand new IMAX® film technology. The film brings Homer’s foundational saga to IMAX® film screens for the first time.
The star-studded cast includes Matt Damon, Tom Holland, Anne Hathaway, Robert Pattinson, Lupita Nyong’o, Zendaya, and Charlize Theron.
The movie storms into theaters everywhere on July 17th.
On May 2nd, Olivia Rodrigo will host for the first time and be a performer for a third time.
The following week, Matt Damon returns to host for his charm time with Noah Kahan, who is getting a second chance.
Finally, on May 16th, SNL ends the season with a familiar face, Will Ferrell, who goes from Not Ready for Primetime Player to host for a sixth time. But the bigger name who will be tickling the ivories is Paul McCartney. This is his fifth time. The Beatles’ singer will be rockin’ the stage!
The first time he appeared on the variety show was May 17th 1980. Fun fact: Rodrigo was not born until 2023. That was 23 years before she was born and 23 years after she entered the world. On a happier note, Kahan made his debut in 1997. Together, the younger singers’ ages add up to 52. Macca is 83, so he is 31 years old that their ages combined, and older their singular ages. And that is why we still love him even after he turned 64.
