Seriously? OMG! WTF?

JACKSONVILLE, Ala. (AP) — Marine Cpl. Terrence Lambert will have to wait until his return to Alabama in the fall to hold his first child, but a satellite linkup in Iraq allowed him to witness her birth on Father’s Day.

Lambert, 21, watched from a room at Alisade Air Base, near the Syrian border in Iraq, while his wife, Jodilynn, gave birth early Sunday at Jacksonville Medical Center.

Twenty-year-old Jodilynn Lambert could see her husband on a 50-inch television screen as they talked and waited until their daughter, Katherine Annalee Lambert, arrived.

"It usually takes two months for us to get a letter. So this is a big improvement," he said.

It took a month to organize the videoconference. The satellite link was set up by Freedom Calls Foundation, a nonprofit organization that keeps soldiers overseas in touch with home.

Foundation spokesman John Harlow estimated the cost at $2,000 an hour, with the connection beamed from Jacksonville, to Atlanta, to Germany, and finally into Iraq’s war zone.

Harlow said the foundation has organized connections for such events as graduations and even parent-teacher conferences. But this was the first live birth.

"There’s been a lot of people involved that have made this possible," Jodilynn Lambert said. "This is the best Father’s Day present he can ask for."

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Tom Cruise is stopping fiancee Katie Holmes from sending out pictures of their daughter, Suri, because he’s paranoid the child could become a target for kidnappers.

Katie’s parents are particularly irritated by Tom’s fears because not even they have a photo of their grandchild.

She wanted to follow Brad and Angelina’s example and sell the first images of Suri to a magazine, then donate the millions it would have generated to charity, but Tom nixed the idea. (SOURCE OTTAWA SUN)

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I still wonder if there is a Suri? 

Nestlé set to purchase diet firm Jenny Craig

Nestlé, the Swiss food giant, was planning to announce Monday that it had agreed to pay about $600 million for Jenny Craig, the weight-loss company that has had a surprise turnaround in recent years as a result of an irreverent advertising campaign chronicling the slimming waistline of Kirstie Alley, of "Cheers" and "Fat Actress" fame.

The deal is a bold gamble for Nestlé, which has never before ventured into the $50 billion weight loss industry but is betting that consumers, in search of health and vanity, will continue their age-old battle to lose weight through prepackaged meals and motivational workshops, especially as America is fighting an escalating obesity epidemic.

The acquisition is also part of Nestlé’s effort to expand its presence in what is described as the "functional food" category through its Nestlé Nutrition unit, which manufacturers PowerBars, baby foods and a series of nutritionally enriched products for the elderly. Jenny Craig manufacturers prepackaged meals that are sold exclusively through its weight- loss centers. (NYT)

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And the smell is not her skank.

Socialite Paris Hilton is following in Michael Jackson’s footsteps after creating a mini-Neverland menagerie of animals in her back garden. The hotel heiress-turned-reality TV queen and pop star now has four Chihuahuas, two kittens, three ferrets and two monkeys all housed at her Hollywood home. She says: "I have, like, huge enclosed cages all around in the backyard everywhere, so everyone has, like, their own space."

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I’m Dustin Diamond and you probably remember me from the hit TV show Saved By The Bell. After the show ended I decided to leave Sunny Cailfornia for the midwest. My shitty credit meant that getting a loan for a house would be tough. I began looking and finally purchsed one on a land contract. I was thrilled! Now I call Wisconsin my home.

During the past years the land around me has developed for the better and my property value went way up. Now that the house is worth a lot more they want it back. Knowing my credit is bad, getting a straight mortgage would take some time. I received a letter stating that I had 30 days to pay $250,000.00 or get out. I was not thrilled.

Calling an old friend with lots of connections, I was finally referred to a man named Arthur Giraldo who works for New York Capital Exchange. "If he can’t do it, it can’t be done." Arthur was said to be an expert in land contracts and a guru when it came to getting difficult loans done. Indeed Arthur sold himself highly and away we went to save my house. I was told not to worry, that it wouldn’t be a problem and that everything would be done quickly, as was needed.

I sent everything he asked for and signed all the papers that were sent to me. The closing date was to be set and he would have a lawyer who was in Wisconsin come to the closing with me. Arthur even said he was going to fly out himself and be there for the closing. The days went by and I never heard from him. I called and left message after message but never got a call back. I finally called from another number from the road (I travel the U.S. doing stand up comedy) and he picked up. As if we had all the time in the world, he brushed it off and said again not to worry. Everything was moving ahead and all is well. He set yet another closing date, but that came and went.

Meanwhile, all was not well and they still want the house. As days crept by and still no calls from Arthur, I was forced to threaten calling every day, all day long, every hour on the hour til I got a call back. Alas, I get a call back. "Don’t worry. Everything’s moving ahead and all is well." Less than thrilled.

This avoidance goes on and on for some time until…

"You got Served"

That’s right, yours truly gets served with a notice to foreclose. They’re gonna take my house! I’m gonna be homeless! Dustin Diamond homeless in Wisconsin. BULLSHIT! Time to call up New York Capital Exchange and set them straight! My message went something like this…

"Tell Arthur Giraldo that I just got served and was told that he hadn’t contacted the holder of the land contract for over a month, never sent any papers over and as such, I am losing my house. If he doesn’t call me back I’ll go to Howard Stern and tell the world (New York especially) how he does business. Let’s face it, if he can’t find the time to work on a mortgage for a famous celebrity, how will he handle the average person?"

In more words than one I was told basically… "Go f… yourself!"

One phone call later I was telling the Stern show what had happened.
Time to pay the piper Arthur. You shouldn’t have f…ed with the Dman.

At this point I have less than 40 days to save my house and I’m calling out to anyone who will listen.

1. I want Arthur to lose his cushy job at NYCE where he screws over the working man then laughs at their expense.

2. I ask you to join my fight against injustice by helping to save my house.

I’ve designed a T-shirt for all of you to wear to show your support. All monies go towards Saving My House!

1. A $15.00 donation will get you a comfortable and stylish cotton T-Shirt telling the world you helped save my house.

2. A $20.00 donation will get you that same T-Shirt signed by me with my special message "Fuck Giraldo".

First we rallied to Free Wynona. The next time we Voted For Pedro. This time we’ll Save Screeech’s House!

Please rally behind me and together we can end the feeble handling of peoples futures by Arthur Giraldo and at the same time SAVE MY HOUSE!

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