When I was in college, I had a 2-pound goldfish, and I thought he was big. He has nothing on Carrot, who lives in Bluewater Lakes.
Carrot is about 20 years old and weighs in at 67 pounds and 4 ounces. The fighter fish is rarely caught, but Andy Hackett was able to catch him, hook, line, and sinker earlier this month.
According to Daily Mail, the leather carp and a koi carp was placed in the water as a guppy and has continued to grow and grow. And I am sure she will keep getting bigger. That is because the man who caught her set her free after a few photos.
Is it wrong that I want to fly to Champagne, France, to catch her and bring her home with me? But then again, my cat would kill me before she killed Carrot. And when she was done eating me, she would move on to Carrot.
Remember the Pizza Rat? Well, he isn’t the only one picking up the trash from those creatures who walk on two feet. Someone captured a cockroach in the NYC subway dragging a cigarette butt down into the depths of hell under the city with him.
Just when I thought I saw everything. It turns out I haven’t. What is next? A pigeon flying around with a bong? Could you imagine a bird shitting on us when he was high? Would that give us a contact high? Things I need to know now.
According to the internet, today is the day that George Jetson was born. So in 40 years, we will all be living in the sky, flying around in cars, and owning robot maids. Therefore, enjoy this primative lifestyle for as long as we have it because everything we see on television is real! Even the animated shows.
BTW I wonder if somewhere in the world, someone is going to name their child that is born today George. And that George will grow up to be Geroge Jetson. Things that make you go, hmm.
Johnny Cash was born in Kingsland, Arkansas. So, to honor him, the town painted his silhouette holding a guitar on their water tower.
It was a lovely tribute until someone shot the Man in Black in a specific area of his body. And now it looks like he is pissing all over the place where he was born.
I don’t know who the marksman was, but my cowboy hat is off to him. Because this is hysterical. And I am going to love listening to all the news anchors who are going to struggle to keep a straight face while trying to read this story during the newscast.
And why can’t they use duct tape to cover the hole?
Back in 1978, WKRP in Cincinnati aired a memorable Thanksgiving episode that is still talked about and revered up until today. In the classic episode, Mr. Carlson hires a helicopter to drop live turkeys down on a mall full of people to take home for the holiday. Hilariously, as Carlson finds out too late, turkeys don’t fly, so the rest is comedic history.
You would think after all of these years, people would have learned it is not a good idea to drop fowl things out of a helicopter. But they didn’t.
This Easter, several cities, including Detroit, Austin, and Jacksonville, actually did just that. Thankfully, there were no injuries. But still, you think they would’ve learned things can go poorly in an instant.
Or maybe because I grew up with that WKRP episode, and I just picture people being hit by smelly, hard-boiled, colorful eggs as they flee from the scene of the crime. Since that didn’t happen, I will just have to watch this TikTok video that Kelly Mann posted and imagine that it did.
If Kenan or Mr. Mayor gets picked up for another season, I hope they do an episode based on this Easter Egg stunt. Could you picture Ted Danson throwing out raw eggs on the people of Los Angeles? That would be so awesome! NBC make it happen.
