Seriously? OMG! WTF?

 

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A post shared by Ed Sheeran (@teddysphotos)

Back when Ed Sheeran was in his early 20s, he wrote, “And darlin’, I will be lovin’ you til we’re 70.”

With that being nearly 50 years away for him at the time, he didn’t think much of it. But now he is realizing when his fans turn 71, they will be hating his ass.

The same way The Beatles fans hate their asses for asking if we will still love when they are 64. Since now that they and the two surviving members, who lived to surpass that age, are in their 80s.

If I were Sheeran, I would chat with Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr and ask them what he should do when he turns 70. I am sure the two of them went through a lot of emotions when they turned 64, and their fans did, too.

The moral of the story is that you shouldn’t write old ages in your songs when you are in your 20s because one day you will be that old age.

Shady Pines, ma. Shady Pines.

We have seen Amy Adams play a sweet Princess in Enchanted. On December 6th, we will see her as a bitch, as in a female dog in heat.

Nightbitch tells the story of a woman (Amy Adams) who pauses her career to be a stay-at-home mom. Soon, her new domesticity takes a surreal turn, and she becomes a dog!

While I don’t see an Oscar in her future for this movie, I do see a lot of people checking it out and turning it into a drinking game, fun film to watch with her friends;

Colin Jost and Michael Che are branching out from Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update to host Colin Jost and Michael Che: New York After Dark on Peacock TV.

The live comedy event will feature NYC club comics, fresh faces, and maybe even some names you already know and love. Am I the only one who thinks that Scarlett Johansson will be one of the names we know and love?

The 60-minute special will stream on September 12th at 9p EST.

Wilson Webb/Netflix © 2024

Ellen DeGeneres will say goodbye to life as a comedian with the Netflix special Ellen DeGeneres: For Your Approval on September 24th.

Ellen gets personal and reveals what she’s been doing since being “kicked out of show business.” From the mundane world of raising chickens and parallel parking to the harsh reality of becoming a brand name celebrity, she goes deep into her stand-up roots and brings the laughs through life’s most real and absurd realities.

And she promises to be real, “To answer the questions everyone is asking me- Yes, I’m going to talk about it. Yes, this is my last special. Yes, Portia really is that pretty in real life.”

Are you going to miss her, or are you like, “Don’t let the door hit you with the good Lord split you?”

Joey Chestnut beats Takeru Kobayashi AND his own World Record with 83 hot dogs in 10 minutes. #ChestnutVSKobayashi pic.twitter.com/ThF9GSkWQF

— Netflix (@netflix) September 2, 2024

Today was the biggest day in sports this year. After 15 years, Joey Chestnut & Takeru Kobayashi finally went mouth-to-mouth against each other live on Netflix to see who would be the ultimate competitive eater in their Unfished Beef.

This all came about because Nathan’s banned their winningest winner this year because he was promoting a vegetarian hot dog. The streamer seized the opportunity and gave us the Super Bowl of competitive eating.

Since this was not Coney Island, Netflix changed up the rules. The competitors had to eat the hot dogs in their buns, and they were not allowed to dip them in their drinks.

Would this hurt either man? Nope! In fact, they both consumed more hot dogs today than they did in 2009.

Back then, Chestnut swallowed 68, while Kobayashi downed 64.5. How did they do today? The loser ate 66 weiners and buns, and Jaws earned his nickname with 83. That beat his previous record by 7.

The battle was boring because Chestnut destroyed his rival. However, it was exciting to see him destroy his previous total by a lucky 7!

Congrats to both eaters because this was the best duel of the year.

Here is a fun fact! Chestnut weighed 222 lbs before the first dog and gained 19 lbs when it was over. Kobayashi started at 158 lbs and left at 189 lbs. I feel for their poor toilets because they are going to experience things that none of us can fathom.

I bet Nathan’s is kicking themselves in the asses for banning Chestnut.

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