Seriously? OMG! WTF?

These sequels make you wish they’d left well enough alone
By KEVIN WILLIAMSON — Calgary Sun

Life is a series of firsts — first love, first job, first car, first therapist, first eating disorder, first sex-manual photos shot strictly for instructional purposes.

But the second? The third? The fourth? In terms of films, although not coffee-table sex guides, it becomes harder and harder to recapture the elusive X factor that made the original so very special. And by the fifth-go-round, you’ve got a straight-to-DVD starring Kari Wuhrer.

Not that Hollywood stops trying. And to be fair to the lovely Ms. Wuhrer, whose aforementioned sequel work was in Hellraiser: Deader, it’s not like the original left you wanting more.

The same could be said, I suppose, of today’s theatrical releases of the third The Fast and the Furious instalment (sans Vin Diesel or Paul Walker) and the second Garfield flick (again starring the voice of Bill Murray). Does anyone in their right mind expect either of these excuses-to-print-money to be good? Even passable?

Not that it matters — both are projected to have strong opening weekends, likely ensuring future episodes to milk their respective cash cows.

As bad as they may be, however, it’s unlikely they’ll rank among the following 10 movies which, in ways both tactile and imperceptible, epitomize all the qualities found in the worst sequels ever — creative bankruptcy, bored stars or new ringleaders who put the entire franchise into the ground beak-first.

10. JAWS 3-D (1983): You could argue 1987’s Jaws: The Revenge — in which the seemingly psychic Great White Shark manages to pursue the Brody family from Maine to the Bahamas — is the lesser film, but at least you didn’t need to look like Max Headroom to watch it. Jaws 3-D (because it’s the third and it’s in 3-D — get it?) still occasionally plays on very late-night TV.

HOW BAD IS IT REALLY: Roy Scheider passed on it.

9. EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC (1977) or EXORCIST: THE BEGINNING (2004): The second sequel — 1990’s The Exorcist III — doesn’t carry the same rancid whiff of the second (in which strobe lights play a supporting role) and fourth (or fifth, if you don’t count the prequel that was shot, but then never released in theatres) in the horror series.

HOW BAD IS IT REALLY: Strobe lights? Refilmed only to still blow chunks of pea-soup? We’d say it was cursed, but in a statement e-mailed to the Sun, Satan said he exited both projects over creative differences.

8. STAR TREK V: THE FINAL FRONTIER (1989): The USS Enterprise boldly goes in search of … God?! What’s worse, they find him and he looks like Nick Nolte’s police mugshot.

HOW BAD IS IT REALLY: Did we mention the bean-eating campfire scene that comes explosively close to sounding like an outtake from Blazing Saddles? All that’s missing is a joke about photon torpedoes.

7. STAR WARS EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM MENACE (1999): A generation of fans waited two decades to learn how Anakin Skywalker fell to the dark side and they got Jar Jar Binks.

HOW BAD IS IT REALLY: Darth Vader, who once uttered "Luke, I am your father" now, as portrayed by 10-year-old punchline Jake Lloyd, cheers: "Yipppie!"

6. STAYING ALIVE (1983): A decade before Showgirls, John Travolta Elizabeth Berkley-ed his career by letting Sylvester Stallone direct him in this misbegotten sequel to Saturday Night Fever. Travolta would be wandering in the baby-talking hinterland for a decade before resurrecting his iconic persona with Pulp Fiction.

HOW BAD IS IT REALLY: Stallone’s brother Frank supplies the music. Apparently Sly was saving his own vocal prowess for Rhinestone.

5. SPEED 2: CRUISE CONTROL (1997): Laugh all you want at Keanu Reeves, but the dude wisely turned this follow-up to his 1994 smash down.

HOW BAD IS IT REALLY: Set on a cruise ship, it has all the hurtling energy of seeing who makes it to the buffet first.

4. ALIEN 3 (1992): David Fincher has guts. What other director would kill off all the characters who survived James Cameron’s enormously popular Aliens in the opening credits? Fortunately, by the time he made Seven and Fight Club, Fincher had also developed brains.

HOW BAD IS IT REALLY: The alien has more charm than the bald, British space prisoners Sigourney Weaver’s Ripley finds herself stranded with.

3. ANOTHER 48 HOURS (1990): Or Another Two Hours Of My Life I’ll Never Get Back. Eddie Murphy, bloated by fame and power, re-teams with Nick Nolte for a sequel to the 1982 action thriller that made him a box-office superstar. But the only chemistry here is between Murphy and his ego.

HOW BAD IS IT REALLY: Not as bad as Murphy’s directorial debut, Harlem Nights. So in other words, atrocious.

2. GHOSTBUSTERS II (1989): A listless rehash made by bored gajillionaires, this sequel follows the template of the original — reducing the characters to laughed-at underdogs — without retaining any of its charm or inventive playfulness.

HOW BAD IS IT REALLY: Bill Murray will prostrate himself for Garfield sequels, but refuses to ever become a ghostbuster again.

1. BATMAN AND ROBIN (1997): A contender for Worst Movie Ever, this sequel (written by The Da Vinci Code’s Akiva Goldsman) makes Will & Grace look butch and is highlighted by such retina-searing sights as George Clooney’s rubber nipples, chunky Alicia Silverstone being shoehorned into her Batgirl outfit, Arnold Schwarzenegger delivering appalling one-liners such as "Chill!" (he’s Mr. Freeze) and Chris O’Donnell. Yes — Chris O’Donnell.

HOW BAD IS IT REALLY: Director Joel Schumacher — responsible for the Bat-franchise’s shift from Goth gloom to cartoony camp — has become the Internet generation’s Ed Wood.

BEST SEQUELS EVER

Sometimes the second or third time really is the charm, as evidenced by these sequels, all of which are better than their predecessors:

1. The Godfather Part II

2. The Empire Strikes Back

3. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

4. Terminator 2: Judgment Day

5. Aliens

6. Gremlins 2

7. Spider-Man 2

8. Mission Impossible III

9. Kill Bill Volume II

10. The Road Warrior

Source 

Seriously, I like more movies on the worst sequels list… 

TOKYO (AP) – When Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi tours Graceland later this month with President George W. Bush, he will be representing a big constituency – Japan has droves of Elvis Presley fans, and the biggest Elvis fan club in all of East Asia.

Koizumi, of course, is the most famous of those fans.

Last year he serenaded Bush with I Want You, I Need You, I Love You at a birthday party for the president. Apparently it made quite an impression – Bush and his wife, Laura, will accompany Koizumi on his June 30 visit to Presley’s estate in Memphis, Tenn.

"It’s exciting," Jack Soden, chief executive of Elvis Presley Enterprises, said Wednesday of the upcoming visit. "Two world leaders, plus Elvis, plus Graceland."

The prime minister is just one of thousands of diehard Japanese Elvis lovers.

The Elvis Presley Fan Club in Japan claims to be the largest in Asia with a 5,000-strong membership. Another 2,000 people or so belong to the recently formed Elvis Presley Society in Japan, said society president – and occasional Elvis impersonator – Tomikazu Taguchi. The even newer C’mon Elvis Fans in Japan is on a much smaller scale, with a membership in the dozens.

Some Presleyites are concerned, though, that interest may be waning as Elvis’s fan base ages.

"Young people here don’t really hear much about Elvis anymore," said Yoko Hika, the 64-year-old president of C’mon Elvis Fans in Japan. "I hope the attention from Koizumi’s visit to Graceland makes them curious and want to listen to his music," said Hika, who travels to Graceland several times a year.

Koizumi, whose Graceland trip was announced earlier this week, has been helping to rekindle the flame.

Fans snapped up all 200,000 copies of a limited-edition charity CD released in 2002 that featured 25 Elvis songs personally selected by Koizumi as his favourites, said Takuya Matsuyama of BMG Japan, which released the disc.

Koizumi, who notes with pride that he shares a Jan. 8 birthday with Elvis, will be in the United States June 28-30. He is scheduled to visit the White House on June 29.

Source 

Heather Mills has been pleading with Sir Paul McCartney for him to invite her to his 64th birthday party tomorrow.

McCartney’s daughters, Mary and Stella, are organising the 64th birthday party for their dad. They believe that having written the song "When I’m 64" as a 25-year-old, the age has become a poignant landmark for him.

Friends of Heather say that she is desperate for Sir Paul to put on a united front for the party, by publicly allowing her to attend, reports the Daily Mirror.

However, it is thought that the ex-Beatle has not yet decided whether to let her attend and bring two-year-old daughter Bea along.

Photographer Mary, 36, and fashion designer Stella, 33, are said to be "disappointed" that Heather has asked their father if she can come to the party. Yet Heather insists it is important for her and the couple’s daughter Bea to attend, since the party coincides with Father’s Day.

Source 

NEW YORK (Reuters) – Starbucks Corp. may be next on the target list of a consumer-health group that this week sued the operator of the KFC fried chicken restaurant chain for frying foods in oils high in harmful trans fat.

The Center for Science in the Public Interest said it is planning to campaign against the global cafe chain because of the increased risk of obesity, heart disease and cancer associated with high-calorie, high-fat products it sells.

And the possibility of legal action against Starbucks, similar to the case it is taking against KFC owner Yum Brands Inc., has not been ruled out, said CSPI executive director Michael F. Jacobson.

"Regular consumers of Starbucks products could face Venti-sized health problems," Jacobson said, referring to Starbucks’ use of the ‘Venti’ designation for ‘large.’

The group is primarily funded by newsletter subscribers and individual donors. It has support in the campaign from the small IWW Starbucks Workers Union, which has members in three stores, all in New York.

They would like Starbucks to list nutrition information — which is currently available online and in store brochures — on its menu boards.

"Customers can ask for nutrition information, but when you’re talking about a transparent business in a busy world, that’s not enough," union organizer and Starbucks "barista" staff member Daniel Gross said in an interview.

He said the company should use healthier shortenings without trans fat, and publicize its smallest size, "short," which is available but does not appear on the menu.

The union contends that Starbucks staff gain weight when they work at the chain. They are offered unlimited beverages and leftover pastries for free during their shifts.

A 20-ounce Venti banana mocha Frappuccino with whipped cream contains 720 calories and 11 grams of saturated fat, and a banana cream crunch bar weighs in at 630 calories and 25 grams of saturated fat. By comparison, a McDonald’s Corp. Big Mac has 560 calories and 11 grams of saturated fat.

A Starbucks spokesman said in a statement it is "actively researching" alternatives to high-fat products. The company said it plans to eliminate trans fat from seasonal baked goods — but not necessarily other products — by this fall.

"In our beverage ingredients, we have reformulated any component that contained significant artificial trans fat content," the spokesman said.

Wendy’s International Inc. and Panera Bread Co. have recently announced efforts to reduce or eliminate trans fats from their menus. Trans fat is an artery-clogging solid fat found in partially hydrogenated oils.

"Most people are taking the trans fat out of their foods because they raise the risk of heart disease and obesity," said Marion Nestle, professor of nutrition at NYU. "There’s a lot of pressure to do so, especially since the (KFC) lawsuit."

Jacobson said Starbucks may have been spared the scrutiny fast-food chains received recently because of its health-conscious image.

"People expect foods from Dunkin’ Donuts to be unhealthy, but Starbucks has more of an upper middle class, healthy, hip, politically correct facade," Jacobson said. "But the food is just as harmful to your arteries."

Source 

British pop star Robbie Williams has scrapped an odd internet competition in which fans fight for his old tooth.

"There weren’t enough ‘yeses’ to run a competition, so I’ll hold on to it and with any luck the tooth fairy will come to visit one night."

Source 

Seriously, I can not believe people actually bid on it in the first place…ewwww 

*** For those you who do not get the Corey Haim reference, here is the story. 

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