Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Jagged Edge Productions/Facebook

Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey, the horror take on the classic children’s story, is not coming out until February 15th. However, Jagged Edge Productions announced that the sequel will begin filming this summer.

The news is no surprise because this is their biggest release in the long list of films they have made. Several of which are on Tubi, like Killer Tree, Croc, The Curse of Humpty Dumpty, Curse of Bloody Mary, and so many more.

Besides turning Winnie the Pooh into a killer, they are also doing the same to Peter Pan and Bambi! I am afraid to ask what they will do next. Dumbo? The Seven Elves? The Little Train that Could?

UPDATE: The Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey Twitter page says that sequel will be, “bigger and even bloodier.” Now I am even more excited for it than Winnie the Pooh is for honey!

Have you been desperately wanting to swim with the shark movies but haven’t found a Horredy that makes you wet? Well, SRS Cinema has us covered with Doll Shark.

Not only will it give us hours of laughs, but we can also show it to all of the kids that make us sing Baby Shark over and over again. They are not going to want anything to do with sharks after watching a cute killer shark doll going on a murderous rampage.

So before you sit them down to watch the movie, make sure to give them a stuffed shark to hold. I know it will fuck them up for a while, but the therapy bills will be worth it.

And this is why I don’t have kids.

If you watched the movie version of the board game Clue and said to yourself that they don’t make movies like that anymore. It turns out there is a comedic murder mystery coming out on February 7th that will make you laugh until you…

Murder, Anyone is an exciting new horror comedy concept about manifestation; stars Kristos Andrews (“The Bay”), Galadriel Stineman (“The Middle”), Maurice LaMarche (“Pinky and the Brain”), Spencer Breslin (The Kid, Zoom), and Oscar nominee Sally Kirkland. In it, two Playwrights are tasked with creating the next avant-garde thriller; but as they write,the story comes to life, and their own emotions and arguments begin to manifest on film.

If that is not enough to make you want to see it, then the sentimental story behind it will. Director James Cullen Bressack’s movie is based on his late father Emmy-award winner Gordon Bressack’s play. Can you think of a better way to pay tribute to a late parent than by making their creation come to life?

I know most people watch cheesy, cheery Christmas movies in December, but not me. I prefer watching horror ones.

Therefore, I am always on the lookout for new ones because I have seen all the other ones. This year we got a few like The Killing Tree, and Christmas, Bloody Christmas.

And it turns out there is one more Santastein. Max Causey (Jared Korotkin) was only six years old when he accidentally burned Santa to a crisp on Christmas Eve. 12 years later, Max attempts to raise Santa from the dead in order to fix his past mistakes and restore the Christmas spirit. But he soon realizes that the creature he has created is a bloodthirsty killer – and it’s headed straight for his friend’s Christmas party!

Take that, Krampus, you ain’t got nothing on a Frankenstein version of Santa Claus.

For some reason, when they make big-budget Creature Features these days, the people behind the scenes make the film very serious.

However, Universal is taking it back old school and making us laugh with Cocaine Beer. At least, I was cracking up during the trailer for the movie “inspired by true events.”

That’s right, “true events”. Inspired by the 1985 true story of a drug runner’s plane crash, missing cocaine, and the black bear that ate it, this wild dark comedy finds an oddball group of cops, criminals, tourists and teens converging in a Georgia forest where a 500-pound apex predator has ingested a staggering amount of cocaine and gone on a coke-fueled rampage for more blow … and blood.

What more do you need to end the month of February than a bear high on coke? I can’t think of anything better, so set a date for February 24th!

BTW I hope someone like The Asylum does a copycat movie like Pot Bear, a bear going around killing people because he has the munchies.

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