Seriously? OMG! WTF?Fifty Shades Archives - Seriously? OMG! WTF?
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E.L. James has another passionate erotic love story cumming out!
January 24th, 2019 under Fifty Shades. [ Comments: none ]

It has been almost 8 years since we read the first Fifty Shades book, and E.L. James confirmed today that she has a new novel cumming out with a new set of lovers.

She told Today, that it is about Maxim, a wealthy Englishman, who meets, Alessia, a young woman. It is a 21st century Cinderella story with sex. The Mister sounds a lot like Fifty Shades of Grey and its subsequent books. Which is why we will buy it, read it and go to see the inevitable movies when they cum out.

Are you excited (literally) for her new erotic tale? It would give me more of a rise if she actually spelled cum properly! Every time she used that word in those books, it would drive me crazy and not the way she intended it to.

The Mister cums out on April 16th. Want to make sure to get the first edition, then you can preorder it now.


Dakota Johnson wears a tight skirt to prove she is not pregnant
October 11th, 2018 under Ellen DeGeneres, Fifty Shades. [ Comments: 1 ]

Earlier in the week, there was a rumor that Dakota Johnson was pregnant because some balloons were released at a star-studded party at her house.

Today, she is on Ellen and Ellen DeGeneres wanted to know what happened. The Fifty Shades star revealed that she was having a birthday party at her house and they had an arch of balloons there. She guesses a string got loose and the balloons went flying up into the sky. Thus, causing people to assume that it was having a gender reveal party. Which it was not.

Now, not only does she have to tell people that she is not having Chris Martin’s child, but she also has to explain to them why they were not invited the shindig. Which was really awkward because DeGeneres was not invited and wanted to know why. But then Johnson told her that she was not invited to Ellen’s 50th, she was just there as arm candy for her boyfriend.

Proving that celebrities need to invite all talk show hosts to their parties if they don’t want something like this to happen to them.


Dakota Johnson had to show Jamie Dornan how to remove her panties
February 8th, 2018 under Conan O'Brien, Fifty Shades. [ Comments: none ]

Jamie Dornan is a man. Thus, if he has to take the underwear off of a women before they have sex, it is not going to be done in a way that women will find sexy. He will just rip them off and go for it. But in the Fifty Shades movies, a man can not do that. Therefore, Dakota Johnson showed him how to do it properly and a way that will turn women on. How? He told Conan O’Brien that you wrap your thumbs around the top and slowly pull them down one side at a time.

Did he get a thumbs up from his co-star for his thumbs down? He did not say, but you saw that movie, what do you think?


BTWF roles: Jamie Dornan in Shadows in the Sun
February 8th, 2018 under Before They Were Famous, Fifty Shades. [ Comments: none ]

Before an older woman ruined Jamie Dornan’s sex life in Fifty Shades of Grey, he was helping an older woman live in Shadows in the Sun. He looks the same now as he did when he was 26 in that 2009 movie.


Jamie Dornan shares the most epic embarrassing story from his teens
January 19th, 2018 under Fifty Shades, Graham Norton. [ Comments: none ]

If you thought that the Fifty Shades movies are the most embarrassing thing that Jamie Dorman has ever done, then you would be wrong. Today, he told Graham Norton a story that is even more embarrassing than starring in those films.

Back when he was just 15 years old, he was starring in a play and playing rugby at the same time. One night, he did a play where he had to wear fake beard and then he had a party to go afterwards with his rugby mates. Since he was underdeveloped at the time, he decided to cut up the beard for his face and glue it on his other head. This way if he got any action, she would be impressed. Even though the black carpet would not match the blonde drapes.

Before he went to the party, he checked out his masterpiece and he was impressed with his artwork. Therefore, he went the party, met a girl, made out with her and tried to get her to go to third base on him. Do they play the bases over in The UK? Anyways, luckily for him, he struck out. Why? He said that when he got home, it looked awful and that would have been really humiliating.

And yet, this story is still more embarrassing than playing Christian Grey. Maybe that is why he was the only actor who was brave enough to take on the part. I mean, what can be worse than self gluing hair onto your part? Nothing.

Oh and to make the story even more epic. When he got home and went to remove the fake hair, he also removed whatever real hair he did have down there. So once again, he was bald like a baby. Poor Jamie.


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