Dear Fans, I just wanted to reach out to all of you and explain some of the things that I have been faced with recently. It's so funny how many stories are put out there about people. It's like we all want our side of the story out there as well, but at the end of the day only a few people care to hear what is really going on since the bad is always so much more interesting than the truth. I don't know why, but this is so weird to me. I used to be angry at the tabloids for printing horrible things about me, but now I try to just be numb to what I see. I saw Tyra Banks once get really upset and cry on her show because they made her look fat. We all want a certain image of ourselves out there, and at some point we all do really care what other people think or we wouldn't be here. Recently, I was sent to a very humbling place called rehab. I truly hit rock bottom. Till this day I don't think that it was alcohol or depression. I was like a bad kid running around with ADD. I had a manager from a long time ago come in and try to direct me and my life after I got my divorce. I was so overwhelmed I think that I was in a little shock too. I didn't know who to go to. I realized how much energy and love I had put into my past relationship when it was gone because I genuinely did not know what to do with myself, and it made me so sad. I confess, I was so lost. This letter is to not place blame on anyone, although I do see the world with a completely different set of eyes now. Being in that vulnerable state and taken to dinners and parties with friends and finding out later you paid for everything was a huge learning lesson for me. I think the whole problem was letting too many people into my life. You never know another persons intentions or what another person wants. I feel I was too open and looking for answers when I had it all to begin with. I have had to cut so many people out of my life. It is so sad, because if anyone is a family person…it is me. When I was little I remember every night watching movies with my family and feeling so at peace. Dancing and singing all the time just like a little girl should. Now recently I find with my children that I want them to have that feeling all of the time. I am having to face a lot of things right now since I have children of my own. A lot of insecurities from when I was little are coming up again. It is like we are never good enough. I know everyone thinks that I am playing the victim, but I am not and I hate what is going on right now so much. Maybe this is the reason for this letter…to maybe allow people to look at me differently. It is like when you are a real woman and say what you feel and how you think things are supposed to be, that people just say you are a "bitch." I feel like some of the people in my life made more of some issues than was necessary. I also feel like they knew I was beginning to use my brain for a change and cut some ties, so they wanted to be in more control of my life than me. I think it is actually normal for a young girl to go out after a huge divorce. I think it was a bigger issue because I had not gone out in such a long time. I am 25 and I do still have a lot to learn, and I am going to make mistakes everyday, and I am sure every mistake I make will probably be on CNN or Good Morning America. I am only human people and I love you for still loving me. I am sitting here at home and it is 6:25 and both of my sons are asleep. I am truly blessed to have them in my life. Everyday is so surreal. Life in general is so surreal and crazy. I just hope this letter made some of you think a little bit more of me and where I am coming from. I just want the same things in life that you want…and that is to be happy. It is just so weird because everyone has their own perception of me and how they think I really am. It is so weird how stories are told. There is your side, my side, and the truth. Somebody has to figure it out. I guess we will never really understand or figure out life completely. That's God's job. I can't wait to meet him…or her. Love, Britney Quote of the month… It is ok to disagree with people regarding certain issues. YouÂ’re not being true to yourself if you succumb to others opinions because you feel guilty.
Do you think this makes her looks better in your eyes? I still see her as blaming everyone else for what is wrong with her? But I wonder what set her off to post this message.
OK! Now I am officially even more bummed that I am not going to see The Police live. I'll be honest when I heard they were reuniting I was not sure if Sting would be as good as he was as when he was with The Police. You see I have bootleg VHS (remember them) tapes of them performing back in 1979 and 1980 and those performances blew me away. Then in the '90s I saw Sting solo twice and I was bored out of mind both times that I saw him. In fact I swore off seeing him because the concerts were such a bore. But the second I saw those pictures from yesterday, I knew Sting was back. I have neglected to read the reviews of their first big reunion show because I was not going to show, (Thank you TicketMaster and The Police for overcharging for pre-sale tickets and selling out before they even went on sale) but now I can't wait to see how they were. All I saw is they remixed a lot of their songs. which I really don't care for because I am purist when it comes to music. Oh well, maybe they will tour again in another 30 years?
When you making 8 million dollars a film…..HIRE A DRIVER!!
I've been getting a lot of letters asking my thoughts on recent events, so here it goes…. I know a lot of people think karma is going around and yeah I guess it might be, but to me..this is far from karma, if anything people like Paris love this shit, walking out of a court house to be met by a bevy of paparzzi like princess diana…carrying the bible around…loves it! Karma will be the day she's married and has kids and her husband goes and fucks a 22 yr old and knocks her up. I don't find happiness in others when they are down, but I sure in hell don't feel bad for people who play the victim constantly and are far from it. People who feel it's their job to make people feel beneath them or take opportunities others would die for an shit on them and frankly make a mockery of. So as the penis posse goes down one by one and enters jail or rehab…I don't really think anything of it…they just show me what I always knew and thought they were _________. ( you can fill in the blank)
I hope you are all well and as always thanks for your letters, shannaB.xox
You know that she is just jealous because they didn't want her in their penis posse. And seriousy when did she deserve the right to be riding on her high horse? She took her divorce to MySpace and had a divorce party that no one attended. She wishes that the paparazzi would follow her, but why would they? She was a no name even when she was a name.
At first I thought wow, this girl is so cool to get up after falling on her butt in front of the whole world like it was nothing. But then I realized it is because she was not smart enough to care. Needless to say she did not win the Miss Universe title.
