|  What’s a guy to do when he’s "dated and made love to some of the most desirable, beautiful starlets in Hollywood" but still can’t find love? If you’re Scott Baio, you find two co-writers to package up your pinhead thoughts and try to sell a book. Perhaps emboldened by the success of early ’90s casualty Tori Spelling, who sold her memoir to Simon & Schuster for $300,000 in December (albeit, after asking for $2 million), Baio is shopping around his own, poignantly titled tell-all, BaioWatch: How I Dated and Loved Hollywood’s Most Beautiful Women and Ended Up Alone.
On losing his virginity at the age of 16 to Happy Days co-star Erin "Joanie" Moran:
"I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to say after we got naked. So for the first five minutes, maybe less—hell, it might have been the first twenty seconds—I’m doing it and thinking, man, this is really uncomfortable. What happened was, my thing was between the cushions on the couch and I didn’t even know it. Instead of being inside Erin, I was humping a corduroy sofa!"
On being a teen heartthrob:
"I got tight with Charles Laufer, the owner and publisher of Tiger Beat, which became an effective promotional tool…. One girl sent me her underwear that she’d peed and menstruated in, didn’t wipe and ran a mile in, so I could have her natural body fluids and odors.
On how he managed to pull chicks while partying at the Playboy Mansion with Charles in Charge co-star (and Radar correspondent Willie Ames):
"Admittedly, it’s all about money, power and fame. Sometimes Playmates will walk right up to me and grab my crotch."
On the exact moment he knew his relationship with Pamela Anderson was over:
"One day Pamela came home and said, ‘I’m thinking of getting my boobs done.’ Admittedly, I was surprised. My initial response, ‘Reduced?’ She already had large, beautiful, natural breasts. At that moment I knew our relationship would soon begin to crumble. Pamela had finally gone Hollywood—or whatever it is that happens when a woman becomes a hot celebrity."
Perhaps most bizarre, however, is an exchange he details in which a 51-year-old Minnelli tries to get Baio to become her surrogate baby daddy:
"’I really want your sperm. You’re a talented, good-looking Italian guy. That’s what I want my child to be.’ I was incredulous. ‘What are you gonna do with my sperm?’ ‘Well, I’m going to take my egg and put it into somebody else’s body.’"
Radar (check out the site for so much more!)
When I was younger I so wanted to lose my virginity to him!!! Part of me still wishes he would confuse me for some sofa cushions!!!
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Pop star Pete Burns revealed today he is suing his plastic surgeon for "wrecking his career and life". Burns, singer with 1980s pop band Dead or Alive, has had several cosmetic procedures on his face and is suing a Harley Street surgeon for an estimated £1million over a botched attempt to remove lip implants. In an exclusive interview he told the Standard he looked like he had been "mutilated with a Stanley knife" after surgery to correct the original problems left his top lip hanging off. The singer, who re-surfaced in last year’s Celebrity Big Brother, has had more than 100 operations by specialists in Italy to try to correct the damage but fears he will always be disfigured. Speaking from Italy, where surgeon Giovanni Ferrando is due to operate again on his lips, Burns said: "It has taken away my life and my career. I saw doctors in London who said the only option was to amputate my lips. I was suicidal. "Eventually I found a doctor in Italy who knew the product and said he could remove it. I had 17 months of procedures and now I am back again having more." Meanwhile Burns has lost his Notting Hill home and his singing career is in tatters, he said. In 2000 Burns went to Dr Maurizio Viel at the London Centre for Aesthetic Surgery to have a lip implant removed. But instead of having the original implant taken out, he was injected with a filler called Evolution and then later with another called Outline. Despite complications, Dr Viel persisted and injected more of the substance – only for the problems to escalate, causing swelling, blisters, discharge and lumps. Eventually the singer was left so disfigured he could not eat normally, could only drink through a straw and did not leave his house for months. He said his career would have been at its peak if it were not for the botched surgery, as he was about to record with the Pet Shop Boys and pursue a number of solo projects as well as launch a greatest hits album. Any settlement could top £1 million and forensic accountants are calculating how much he has missed out on in lost earnings. "As a result of the damage caused by the treatment, Pete has been unable to fully pursue his career in music and in the media. "Today we have issued court proceedings against Dr Viel." Allegations of negligence against Dr Viel are that he failed to warn adequately of the possible side effects, failed to observe warning signs on the product relating to its use in conjunction with other products and administered an excessive number of follow-up injections, which was contrary to the guidance given on the use of Outline Original. Burns said: "What happened to me after a series of injections was far worse than any nightmare I could have envisaged. Not only was it agonisingly painful but it was physically repulsive in the extreme. It was impossible to lead any life whatsoever. I was unable to leave my house as I was so distorted with swelling. "At times it leaves me seriously suicidal and depressed and I could have
