It is Shark Week on Discovery this week, and they got Shaq to do something he has never done. That thing is to go underwater snorkeling and swim with some sharks.
He might be over 7′ tall, but there are still things that scare him. Not Hakeem Olajuwon, Patrick Ewing, David Robinson and Rik Smits, but the great whites. As soon as one of those little sharks swam towards him, he was out of there. Then with some coaxing, he went back in and faced some more killer fishies. This time went a little better, but I doubt he will be doing it again. Which is weird because you would think they would be more afraid of him than he would be of them. After all, he is bigger than them.
If you thought that sharks flying around in a tornado was pretty terrifying, it is the calm before the Shaqnado storm. That’s right thousands of Shaqs are swirling around in tornadoes and there is only one thing that can save us. Two things actually, Posh Spice and James Corden. Gd help us because we are going to need it.
Why? Because there is one thing that Victoria Beckham is worse at than singing, and that is acting. Which is the opposite of what the adult entertainment stars I used to see at Porn Star Karoake were bad at.
Earlier this week, I posted a video of Shaquille O’Neal looking like Big Foot. Today, here he is a video of him looking like another animal. This one is an eagle because he lost a Super Bowl bet to John Kincade. Fly Shaq, fly.
BTW good thing the guys from Duck Dynasty were not there. Could you imagine?
When I was teenager this group I was in, would take us up to the woods for retreats. They would tell us city folks not to wear brown if we were walking around outside because a hunter might mistake us for a moose and shoot us. Yet my friend Danny would have us outside singing a song about a moose and act it out. Like he was trying to get us killed.
Why am I telling you all of this? The other day Shaq was walking around Minneapolis with a black fur coat and hat. Which is really not the smartest thing to do up there because they are constantly on the look out for Bigfoot and from behind the 7’1″ NBA legend looks like Sasquatch with all of that fur over his body (which better be fake). He better be really careful because Destination America might do a series about the search for him called Hunting Shaquatch! Which I would totally check out.
When you are a 7’1″ former basketball player, there are not that many couple costumes for you to choose from for Halloween. Thankfully, Shaquille O’Neal found the perfect one from a story he has been hearing about since his kid. That treat is the Big Bad Wolf and Little Red Riding Hood. Isn’t it perfect? Because you know, what big teeth his has and what big, you know what, he has! Grandma definitely never had that.
