Russell Brand was a guest on The Late Show tonight and he told David Letterman that he was a mailman before he was an actor. He told David Letterman why he did it. Brand explained, “In my mind, it is a cultural illusion that this is an opportunity for early morning conjugal activity. I thought that housewives would open the door, with a gesture to their nether regions.” Then he added, “Turns out that is not a window for sex. They just want their letters basically.” So how long did he hold out before he quit his sexless job? He held the job for 3 whole weeks.
I guess he thought that mailman was spelled maleman, and because of that I wonder if he thought that woman would think he is twice the man. I mean why would think that woman want their mailman? It has never been a fantasy of mine and I never heard anyone else wanted to lick their postal worker like a stamp. Have you?
Dear Mailmen, I am sorry if I offended you with the last paragraph. That was not what I was going for with this post. Please continue to deliver my bills and junk mail. Thanks!
Fame Flynet
Russell Brand was caught by the paps as he left yoga yesterday and I can’t stop looking at his right leg. Is that a yoga mat in his pocket, or is his peepee happy to see us? Who knew he might have a rock of ages in his pants?
Russell Brand was on Chelsea Lately yesterday. Chelsea Handler was not doing her show, but instead Khloe, Kourtney and Kim Kardashian were filling in for her. Well the three sisters were talking to Brand and he admitted he was “vulnerable to the concept of a KKK threesome.” I am not sure what is worse the concept of doing it with all The Kardashian girls at once or three members from the KKK. Both are just too horrible to think about, but at least the latter group would wear sheets over their heads so you wouldn’t have to look at them.
via The Back Row
Before Russell Brand was hosting Brand X on FX, he was doing the same with Dancefloor Chart. He hasn’t changed since he was 25 doing that show in 2001 and that is a good thing!
Russell Brand took to Twitter with these Words of Wizdumb, “Vaginas are about context, I love them but If one ran into my room on its own I’d hit it with a broom.” Imagine what a vajayjay would do if they saw his pen!s running into a room at them? Same thing!
