I do not know about you, but I have been trying to understand Donald Trump’s hair for years. It truly is a great mystery. One that got more complicated as the wind blew the back of his hair away from his head, revealing he has very little strands left on the back of the head.
Actually that stumped me even more and I was not the only one to feel that way. Jimmy Kimmel also felt this way and he sent a producer to a few hair salons to ask the experts what is going on. Even they could not determine what that thing is on top of his head. Because we now know it is only up there and not down there.
Well two had an idea what might be happening. One thought that maybe it was a bad weave and another one said it was not glued done properly. Other than that, they had no idea what to make of it.
What would they do to save it? One woman said shave it. I thought about that too but imagine what he would look like without any hair? Maybe like Lurch from The Addams Family on a bad day or for them would it be a good day. Or what about Lord Voldemort from Harry Potter. Another hair dresser suggested he use 4-5 cans of pomade a day. Which means he would wipe out the supply in a about year, if that.
I think he needs to call Hair Club for Men and let them do their magic. Anything would be better than what he has now or completely bald. What do you think he should do with that thing?
Well that and I have been having nightmares about it for years because it reminds of an Amazing Stories episode called Hell Toupee. It was about toupee that kills people. I am not saying he has a toupee, I just do not know what it is.
UPDATE: Yesterday on Late Night, Seth Meyers roasted Trump’s bald spot and it is hilarious.
Back in the ’90s, Donald Trump and Marla Maples were all over The New York Post. Their most famous front page of their affair read, “Best sex I’ve ever had.” But did she really say it?
Nearly twenty five years later, Page Six asked her that very question and the answer is what we have been waiting to hear. She told them, “I never said that, someone else said that. [But] is it true? I’m not going to talk about that. The truth will come out, just not here.” Since they caught her going to jury duty, you know she was telling the truth. Which means he is not, right?
The White House asked the Guggenheim to borrow Vincent van Gogh’s Landscape with Snow for the president and first lady’s private living quarters and they kindly offered something else from the museum instead. Since they could not go #1, they were hoping he would go for #2.
According to The Washington Post, the curator, Nancy Spector, offered him their art piece called America. Sounds fitting for 1600 Pennsylvania, but it is more appropriate for his Manhattan penthouse. What is it? A fully functioning 18-karat solid gold toilet. We have heard that he likes golden showers, so this the next best thing. Right?
Personally, I do not know why they did not give him a copy of the painting. Afterall it is rumored that he has a copy of another famous painting in his Manhattan apartment that he claims is real.
One more thing, while on paper the request seems extremely absurd, the newspaper says that it is not unprecedented for presidents to borrow major artwork. Which sounds crazy, but hey if you are the president of the United States it does not hurt to ask. Unless you are Donald Trump, then it does.
Just over a week ago, Donald Trump described Haiti and Africa as 💩🕳️s. When Conan O’Brien heard this, he decided to hop on a plane, fly down to Haiti and film one of his Conan Without Borders specials there to prove that the president is wrong. While touring the beautiful country, he asked some of the residents if they have a message for POTUS and boy did they. Sadly, their words are too clever for Trump to understand what they are truly saying to him.
This was just a teaser and the full episode airs this Saturday on TBS. Make sure to watch because Conan takes you to places and introduces you to the people that no one else will show you. I always find these special very informative, interesting and most importantly enjoyable.
While everyone over 19 was able to vote or not to vote for Donald Trump in 2016, those who were not old enough did not have a vote in the matter. Jimmy Kimmel wanted to know how the youngest victims feel about the President. Let’s just say, they are not fans. But I am fan of watching them criticize POTUS.
