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Did Anderson Cooper just say erection instead of insurrection?
January 20th, 2021 under Anderson Cooper. [ Comments: none ]


Anderson Cooper was interviewing a guest tonight on CNN about the insurrection. However, he didn’t say the latter word. Instead, he said, “erection.”

I wonder where his mind was. Probably the same place it is always it. That is why he always gets a rise out of us.

Then again, we all have erections (and I don’t have a d!ck) thinking about Donald Trump being out of office in a few hours. Schwing!

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Extra! Extra! Anderson Cooper is a daddy!
April 30th, 2020 under Anderson Cooper. [ Comments: none ]


Anderson Cooper broke some huge news tonight on his CNN show. On Monday, he became a first-time father to a baby boy. Wyatt Morgan came into the world weighing just over 7 pounds on April 27th via surrogate.

The proud father was giddy as he talked about his bundle of joy. Cooper says he never expected to be a dad because he is gay. However, that was then and now he and his BFF are daddies.

I bet you Wyatt and Andy Cohen’s son, Benjamin, are going to the best of friends like their dads.

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Anderson Cooper is looking even more whiter than usual
April 11th, 2019 under Anderson Cooper. [ Comments: none ]


I think we can agree that Anderson Cooper is the palest anchor on television and this Sunday he is going to be even whiter than that on 60 Minutes.

The Silver Fox flew to Europe to interview the cast and crew of Game of Thrones and they transformed him into a White Walker. Something he pretty much looks like without the makeup. With the makeup, he looks more like himself, so I am so confused. Can you tell when he is in full gear and when he is not?

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What line from Gloria Vanderbilt’s book was too much for Anderson Cooper?
December 17th, 2018 under Anderson Cooper, Andy Cohen. [ Comments: none ]


Anderson Cooper was on Watch What Happens Live and a viewer wanted to know if his mom was going to write any more books. He said that he was unsure.

Then Andy Cohen asked his friend about proofreading one of Gloria Vanderbilt’s books. That book was about all of her romantic trysts throughout the decades. What son doesn’t want to read a book like that with a fine tooth comb? No son does.

Anyways, there was one line that really got to him. It was where his mom was describing the guy she was seeing at 87, yes 87, as “The Nijinsky of cunnilingus.” Cooper had to look up Nijinsky and cunnilingus. Nijinsky was considered the best male dancer before Mikhail Baryshnikov. If you don’t cunnilingus, then there is an unsatisfied woman in your life.

But the one who is a very satisfied woman is Gloria Vanderbilt, who was still getting more action at 87 than most of us at our age. Gd bless her.

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Stormy Daniels talks about spanking Donald Trump’s yuge butt!
March 25th, 2018 under Anderson Cooper, Donald Trump. [ Comments: none ]


Vanilla Anderson Cooper’s much hyped interview tonight on 60 Minutes was a let down, and it was not Stormy Daniel’s fault. Although she did give us some juicy details. Like she was not attracted to Donald Trump but she slept with him anyways. Once was enough because that was the only time they had sex.

Before they did the deed that changed her life forever, she spanked him with a magazine that he was on the cover. He was bragging about how he was featured in the magazine, so she said to him, “Someone should take that magazine and spank you with it.” He was shocked then he pulled down his pants and she whacked him a few times. Kind of like what he was going to do to her later, a few whacks.

I am sorry for all that she has gone through because of that night, but I am glad we are getting to know her. She is actually really funny and needs to crossover to sexless comedies.

Now I am off to pray that the spanking incident does not play a part in my dreams tonight.

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