How many times have you wanted to see bratty Justin Bieber get his a$$ handed to him? Well, Conan O’Brien made that happen tonight on his TBS show. So sit back and watch your new favorite video over and over and over again!!!
I have been obsessed with plagues ever since I was a little kid, so I have been avoiding the news coverage of Ebola because I knew it would frankly scare the crap out me. But what I do know about it, is that they have been going overboard and scaring everyone to the point that they think if they sneeze they have the deadly virus.
Well yesterday on Conan, the TBS show mocked how insane the news outlets have been going over this story. In the process of reporting the news, they have been making mistakes and they pointed that out too.
Not only are the news show going crazy over Ebola, so is the CDC. So they made sure to also point that out with a very heavy price.
This segment would be even funnier if it wasn’t so true. As I was posting the story, there was a report about a cruise ship being turned around because a woman who might, yes might, have handled that Dallas patient’s blood is on it. Mexico reportedly refused them entry. Which is crazy because she was already in quarantine on the ship.
I also would’ve personally laughed harder at this bit if I wasn’t a little over a mile away from their studio and sneezed as I was watching it. Achoo! Dang you Andy Ryechter, you better not have gotten me sick.
Conan O’Brien asked Dax Shepard about his nude scene in This is Where I Leave You, and the answer he got was more than he bargained for. It starts off pretty normal as the Parenthood star explains that he did lunges to build up his butt, but then it takes a hairy turn. You see, Dax has a forest in the valley (Andy Richter’s description) and he didn’t want the viewing audience to see it. So he asked his wife, Kristen Bell, to shave him there and for some reason she agreed. As she took an electric razor to his buttcrack, she hummed Lipps Inc’s disco hit Funkytown. You’d think there would be a better song to hum like ACDC’s Highway to Hell or Meat Loaf’s Bat Out of Hell. You get the theme I am going with there, right?
Now back to his wife doing the doody, I mean duty, what was she thinking? True love is not even an excuse. You couldn’t get me to do that crappy job for the biggest diamond in the world. As the TBS late night asked, why not go to a professional. That is what they are for, not the woman you say you love. No where in the vows does it say, a$$hole shaving. Ladies, who’s with me? Would you do that for your man?
So there is a Medical Ethicist (whatever that is) who says that he wants to die at the age of 75, and Larry King has a lot to say about that. The 80 year old host took his gripe to Conan, and what he says will hopefully change that 57 year old doctor’s mind. Granted nothing will change that guy’s mind faster than being 74 years old and wanting to see 76. Just like Paul McCartney when he thought that 64 was so far away when he wrote that song. At the time it was, and now it still is for him but in the opposite way.
Now back to King, who knew he was so funny? Maybe he should open his OraTV show Larry King Now with a monologue because he is better than some of the other late night hosts at telling jokes. Don’t you agree?
Nick Offerman was on Conan O’Brien’s show yesterday to promote his show, Full Bush. The TBS late night host made the mistake of asking him why he named it that and his explanation will leave you feeling sick. The Parks and Recreation star mentioned that it also refers to letting it grow free down there and that he is against manscaping. Then he took it to a whole new level that was so disgusting I had to share it with you because I cannot suffer alone. Seriously, did you not throw up a little in your mouth? Tell me I am not the only one.
