Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Barry Keoghan took it all off for Saltburn. And he did it again for Vanity Fair’s 30th Annual Hollywood Issue. However, this time, he covered up the salt shaker, and that burns!

That was bad. But his body is great, as Tony the Tiger would say!

This is frankly disgusting. Andrew Scott is there to support his multiple nominated film and THIS is what you ask? Then when he looks visibly uncomfortable the guy carried on. Truly horrid. #BAFTAs pic.twitter.com/42VEoBXRQi

— Alex Gilston (@PresenterAlex) February 18, 2024

When you are walking the red carpet, celebrities have to be prepared for some weird questions. However, nothing could’ve prepared Andrew Scott for what BBC’s Colin Paterson asked him at the BAFTAs yesterday.

The entertainment correspondent wanted to know what he thought of Barry Keoghan’s nude dancing scene at the end of Saltburn. The award-winning actor tried to laugh it off and get the reporter to move on. But then, the reporter asked if he thought Keoghan was using a prosthetic in the scene.

The actor told him, “I don’t know him that well.” And with that, the All of Us Strangers star was done and walked away. I can’t say I blame him.

Why would you ask someone, especially someone who is gay, on a red carpet if they think an actor was using a fake dick in a movie. What the actual fuck?

If Paterson had done any research before that day, he would have known that it was real. Therefore, he could’ve asked Scott real questions instead of that atrocity.

People are talking about Saltburn. However, it is not because it is a good movie. It is because of the scene where Barry Keoghan slurps up Jacob Elordi’s leftover bathwater.

That scene became so infamous that people released a candle called Jacob Elordi’s Bathwater.

Yesterday, when the actor was on The Tonight Show, Jimmy Fallon gave him one of those candles to smell. What did he think? He did a Barry Keoghan and tried to suck up the smell. And my hat is off to him.

Oh, and when it comes to what it smells like, it smells like whatever scent you choose from. It is just a label, unlike Gwyneth Paltrow’s This Smells Like My Vagina.

ShaunsDrawns/Etsy

A lot of people are talking about Saltburn. Not because it is a good movie. It isn’t. They are talking about the scene where Barry Keoghan licks up Jacob Elordi’s bathwater after the latter is done taking a bath where he masturbated.

It has become a viral trend, and candle makers are making a buck off of it. So if you go to Etsy and search for Jacob Elordi’s bathwater candle, then you will find several options.

Unlike Gwyneth Paltrow’s candle that smells like her vagina, this one smells like whatever option you want.

What do you think the candle should smell like? I think it should smell like the ocean and sex.

C. Thomas Howell/Instagram

It used to be that the only way you would see a man go full frontal on the screen was in hardcore porn. But this year proved that is a thing of the past.

It was like a unicorn to see a man’s penis. There was The Crying Game, Sleepaway Camp, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Velvet Goldmine, Hangover, Boogie Nights, Old School, American Reunion, Wild Things, and Deadpool, to name a very few.

It felt like it was something we only got to see once a year,

But this week, I saw a lot of dick, and that was just from movies and TV shows from 2023.

It started out with South Park (Not Suitable For Children) when Randy started an OnlyFans account and went completely naked from the waist down for most of his screen time in the special episode. For some reason, animated dick was not my thing. So I reached out to my friends with benefits for dick pics. I needed a cleanser.

However, I no longer need them. That is because the more I watched, the more penises I saw.

While I was donating platelets, I watched Obliterated. In the first episode, I saw all of C. Thomas Howell (who deserves the Emmy for his part. Not only his part). And now I am his secret admirer. He was not the only one to take it all off. We also got to see a stripper strip and put whipped cream all over his long banana. And his was not the longest. Terrence Terrell’s prosthetic was longer, as we saw when he had something stuck up his urethra.

It wasn’t only TV. I also got to see Barry Keoghan dance without any clothes in Saltburn. Believe it or not, the bathtub scene was not the most shocking one in the boring film.

My week isn’t over. So today, I got to see Timothy Laughlin’s package in Fellow Travelers. Secretly, I was hoping for Matt Bomer.

That was just this week. I also got to see penises in Euphoria, The Boys, and Gen V. The latter takes the credit for the largest manhood of them all. That is because we got to see Emma Meyer shrink down to a few inches to give a guy a body job.

I am sure I missed a few. And shockingly, I am OK with that. I can’t believe I am saying this, but I am over seeing dick for a while. It is kind of how I felt about looking in the mirror after seeing Showgirls. I was sick of the female body after that movie.

I don’t know what started this. Was it due to the popularity of Adam Demos’ scene in Sex/Life? That moment went viral and maybe showed producers that women like me want to see more of it.

I know I do. Heck, I watched Queer As Folk for it. But didn’t get to see any of the leads, including Gale Harold, from the front.

Will we see more peens, schlongs, johnsons, wangs, schmeckles, trouser snakes, and royal jewels in 2024? I sure hope so!

Naked women have been normalized in Hollywood since the ’70s. It’s about time we normalized it for men, too!

What do you think? Tell me in the comments.

UPDATE: I was told I need to White Lotus and The Cursed to the last.

UPDATE 2: So I decided to watch The Cursed on Showtime, and I saw a man peeing through his tiny penis. And now I need dick picks again from my friends with benefits.