Seriously? OMG! WTF? » Animals
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Watch this cockatoo dance to WAP
December 23rd, 2020 under Animals. [ Comments: none ]

Kait Johnson wanted to see how her cockatoo would react to WAP by Cardi B and Meghan Thee Stallion, so she played it for Beethoven. What happened next shocked her. The dancing bird got down to it like there are some whores in the house.

Now, I get that she might be worried about his dancing to this single, but I think she needs to consider that he does not know what a wet ass pussy is. Beethoven might think it is about a cat that got wet, and he knows how much they hate getting wet. Then again, you can’t spell cockatoo without cock.


This is what happens when rats in NYC eat too much pizza
October 30th, 2020 under Animals. [ Comments: none ]

Have you ever wondered what happened to Pizza Rat? Well, now we know, and I wish we didn’t. He is as big as us, and we look like pizza.

Therefore NYC, be afraid, be very afraid. Because the biggest threat since King Kong is there, and he is there to stay.


The animals are finally rebelling against TikTok
October 22nd, 2020 under Animals. [ Comments: none ]


lost a limb for this ##foryoupage ##makemefamous ##foryou ##FootlongShuffle

♬ It’s Been A Long Long Time – Harry James

You thought that Donald Trump had a problem with TikTok; he doesn’t have anything on pets. Cats, dogs, wolves, ferrets, lizards, mice, monkeys, skunks, and raccoons have had enough of being used so you could get more followers.

One dog is starting the revolution, and I am afraid. I am very afraid.

Dunkin’s mom decided to see what he would do if she did the pretend to put your dog on a diet challenge. If you don’t know what that is, that is where the mean owner only puts a few pieces of kibble in their furbaby’s bowl. Most puppies give their masters those sad puppy dog eyes, others growl, but the black lab had them all beat. When his mom only dropped three balls into his bowl, he went and got and the knife.

After watching this canine start the rebellion, I have decided not to turn my cat into a WAP for internet fame! She has seen me watch Nightmare on Elm Street one too many times, and I have not cut her nails in a few months.

When it comes to Dunkin, don’t worry, he did not kill his mom. He is trained to protect her, and that is why he grabbed the knife. It was a command, and he is a good boy!


Joe Biden’s campaign goes to the dogs
October 6th, 2020 under Animals, Politics. [ Comments: 1 ]

The White House has been missing a lot of things since January 22, 2017. Things like sanity, heart, class, and animals.

Well, dogs all over the United States of America want to be back in the People’s House. Therefore, they got together and made a barktastic commercial supporting Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. Canines can smell a kind-hearted person, and they can smell it on the former-Vice President.

Biden has two German Shepards. Champ, who was adopted in 2008, when he was still in office, and Major, who rescued ten years later. They say those who own animals are kinder, more caring souls. Let’s put someone with a soul back at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

It would be nice if the sign on the gate read beware of dog, instead of beware of president.

While that’s how I feel about this arfdorable ad, my cat feels differently. She meowed, “Not to be catty, but where is our ad?” If someone at the Biden campaign sees this, she would like to be a supporter in your next advertisement with kitties. Cats are animals too!

Seriously, be a good boy and good girl, and vote on November 3rd. I don’t want to send the hounds after you. Although, the hounds I would send would be loving pups. The ones Donald Trump would be the hell hounds that have been circling him since the day he was born.


This cat was most of us watching Donald Trump at the debate yesterday
September 30th, 2020 under Animals, Donald Trump. [ Comments: none ]


She’s not a fan. ##fy

♬ Monkeys Spinning Monkeys – Kevin MacLeod

Let’s be honest, most of us were cursing and throwing things at our televisions yesterday while we were watching the 💩🕳️ of a presidential (not that it was anywhere near presidential) candidate debate. Ashley’s cat one-upped us all. The kitty was scratching at Donald Trump like he was a litter box, and she just took the smelliest 💩.

I wish I could get my furbaby to do that. However, she was hiding because of all of the screaming I was doing. The debate is like my Super Bowl with my team down by 2 points, and our punter is at the 40 about to kick the ball during the final seconds of the fourth quarter. Wait, did I just describe an intense moment in football?

Talking about football, that cat really scored a touchdown for all of us. I am sorry you had to suffer through that. Frankly, I am sorry we all had to suffer through all of that.


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