Seriously? OMG! WTF? » Animals
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Is this the shittiest calendar? 
September 20th, 2023 under Animals. [ Comments: none ]

There are calendars for everything and everyone these days. And now there is one that I wonder who it is for.

What is it? It is Dogs Pooping In Beautiful Places. And it can be yours for $19.99 on Joyfullift.

The imagery and detail are just out of this world. Different dogs, different places, and different shit for each month. Be the one and only to own the world’s rarest collectible.

I don’t know who would want to own this. Or should I say I don’t want to know who wants to own it? But I think it will be an excellent gift for White Elephant parties. Because who doesn’t want to trade this for a sex toy?


Is Temptations trying to get us killed with these cat treats?
September 9th, 2023 under Animals. [ Comments: none ]

There are many differences between owning a cat and a dog. People own dogs, and cats own people.

Another difference is that dogs stay with their deceased owner, while cats would eat their person.

So, with that being said, why would Temptations, which is like crack to cats, come up with the Tasty Human flavor? A flavor that tastes like us? Although they say it tastes like chicken, beef, and liver. Is that what humans taste like?

Seriously, I am already afraid of my cat eating me. I don’t need her knowing how good I taste. She might not wait to eat me.


Metallica goes to the dogs
September 2nd, 2023 under Animals, Metallica. [ Comments: none ]

People at the Metallica concert in LA thought they smoked some really good stuff when they saw a dog enjoying the show. But it turns out what they saw was real.

The Rockers explained what their biggest fan with a tail was doing there.

You might have heard we had a four-legged fan join us for #M72LA! Despite reports to the contrary, our friend Storm snuck out of her home adjacent to @sofistadium and made her way to the gig all by herself.

After a full night taking in the show with her #MetallicaFamily, Storm was safely reunited with her actual family the next day. She had a great time listening to her favorite songs, including “Barx Æterna,” “Master of Puppies,” and “The Mailman That Never Comes.”

And in case you were wondering, no. You definitely shouldn’t bring your furry friends to the #M72 World Tour. But this dog sure did have her day…

Metallica is so cheap. I bet you they charged the owner for the ticket.


The true star of the Met Gala
May 2nd, 2023 under Animals. [ Comments: none ]

Kim Kardashian thought she was the Queen of the Met Gala yesterday. She wasn’t. What about the very pregnant Rhianna? Not her, either. Does this year belong to a man like Jared Leto or Lil Nas X? Not to sound catty, but not them either.

So who was it? Everyone was buzzing about a cockroach that stopped everyone in their tracks. Well, everyone but photographer Kevin Mazur who got the roach’s closeup.

The bugger was so popular it got everyone to scream in delight and fright.

So will we see it at the next Met Gala? Variety broke the news, “It is with deep sadness that we must report the #MetGala cockroach was stepped on. #RIP”

Too bad Karl Lagerfeld’s cat wasn’t there. If she was, she could’ve cleaned up the smushed mess.


Move over Pizza Rat, here comes Matzo Rat
April 7th, 2023 under Animals. [ Comments: none ]

via Subway Creatures Official

Remember Pizza Rat, the rat who ate pizza from an NYC subway station? Well, it is Passover, so he can’t have that again until April 13th.

What can he have? He can have matzo. Therefore, when he saw some, he made sure to grab it and take it back to his lair.

At least someone enjoys matzah. Even if it is a dirty rat, a rat I am going to name Jared Kushner. Too soon?


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