The University of Georgia Bulldogs is playing Notre Dame Fighting Irish today in Athens, Georgia. Well, Dill’s Food City did not want anything Irish in their store for the game this week, so on Monday they told their costumers, “Sorry Dill’s customers there will be no Irish Spring at our stores this week. Go Dawgs!” They boxed up all of their soap and left the shelves empty.
When Irish Spring heard about it, they decided to send UGA a little care package of their product. Along with the present, they attached a little note that reads, “Hey @universityofga – Heard you were out of stock in Athens, GA. We’re sending a little luck your way. 🍀 Hoping for a good, clean game tomorrow! 🧼 #NDvsUGA 🏈”
And with that, I will now be using Irish Spring soap because they are bad a$$. Which means they will make my bad a$$ smell good.
Good thing we didn’t play Notre Dame when I was at the University of Miami. If there was any soap anywhere near the broadcasters during a game, then they would have used it to wash our mouths out with soap. That’s because our chant to ND was, “They suck. We swallow.” Which was actually one of our cleaner chants! It’s great to be a Miami Hurricane!
The National Football League is 100 years old. To celebrate the milestone they got someone just as old to promote it. Betty White. Because when I think of football, I think of her. Well, I think of that Snickers ad that ran during the Super Bowl. But you know what I meant.
Anyways, when I think of 100, I do think of Ms. White since she is the oldest celebrity we know. Therefore, NBC and the NFL made the wise choice. Plus, who doesn’t love having her back on our televisions again? She is as much as a treasure as football itself.
She is a much bigger one! But don’t those pig skin loving people I said that.
Yesterday, was the 2019 Scripps National Spelling Bee and they had not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six, not seven but eight winners. How did that happen? After 20 rounds, nine hours and spelling 152 words correctly, they ran out of words to challenge the Octochamps: Erin Howard; Rishik Gandhasri; Abhijay Kodali; Shruthika Padhy; Rohan Raja; Saketh Sundar; Sohum Sukhatankar; and Christopher Serrao.
I might not be that smart because I was eliminated from a spelling bee due to the word imbecile; but isn’t there a book with an endless amount of words they could use to get some more. You know, like a dictionary? I guess not.
It was a costly decision because it cost them $400,000, $50,000 per kid. You better believe there are going to be changes to next year’s competition. As exciting as it is to watch, it ain’t cheap to have that many winners.
BTW the Octochamps were on Good Morning America today and they were all happy to share the win. I wonder if they would have felt the same if they had to share the $50,000 grand prize. What are they going to do with their winnings? Save it for college, of course. They are smart kids. Unlike me who would have thrown a massive party with the money. Which is why I was taken down by imbecile. That and my teachers hated me!
via Hunter Johnson
I went to the University of Miami and we won a lot of national championships while I was there; but nothing as titillating as what Auburn won yesterday. They were crowned the champs of the Sex Tournament. I guess I went to the wrong school.
Or did I? Someone at CBS 42 in Birmingham, was so excited about the win, that they hit the X instead of the C on the keyboard. Which means they actually won the SEC tournament instead. Major let down for everyone including us.
Although, I am sure a lot of players were slam dunking after the game. You know, playing their own sex tournaments.
I don’t watch car races, but I do watch their crashes. Therefore, I enjoyed the 21 car crash that happened today at the Daytona 500 as the cars were rounding their third turn.
If Paul Menard did not try to take out Matt DiBenedetto, then he would have finished the race instead of being finished with 20 other cars with 10 laps to go.
Thankfully, only the racer’s egos were hurt and nothing else.
