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A black cat won MVP at Monday Night Football
November 5th, 2019 under Animals, Sports figures. [ Comments: none ]
Even though Halloween was almost a week ago, there is one black cat who is not ready for the season to end. Yesterday, that beautiful baby ran on to the field during the NY Giants and Dallas Cowboy game and scored a touchdown in our hearts. Not only in our hearts but they also ran from the 50-yard line to the end zone in record time. The kitty did such a good job, hopefully, the Cincinnati Bengals will recruit him.

However since the Giants lost the game and they are having a bad season, maybe they should be the ones who adopt the feline for their NFL team.

When it comes to what happened to the cat, MetLife Stadium gave this update, “For those wondering about the status of our furry friend 😺 at tonight’s @Giants game 👇. The black cat ran off the field and disappeared under a seating section. Once we locate and safely capture the cat, we will take it to a veterinarian for examination.”

Once they capture it and bring it to a vet (I know a good one in NJ if you need it), I am sure there will be a lot of people who will want to give that pussy furever home.


Fighting Irish Spring
September 21st, 2019 under Sports figures. [ Comments: none ]

The University of Georgia Bulldogs is playing Notre Dame Fighting Irish today in Athens, Georgia. Well, Dill’s Food City did not want anything Irish in their store for the game this week, so on Monday they told their costumers, “Sorry Dill’s customers there will be no Irish Spring at our stores this week. Go Dawgs!” They boxed up all of their soap and left the shelves empty.

When Irish Spring heard about it, they decided to send UGA a little care package of their product. Along with the present, they attached a little note that reads, “Hey @universityofga – Heard you were out of stock in Athens, GA. We’re sending a little luck your way. 🍀 Hoping for a good, clean game tomorrow! 🧼 #NDvsUGA 🏈”

And with that, I will now be using Irish Spring soap because they are bad a$$. Which means they will make my bad a$$ smell good.

Good thing we didn’t play Notre Dame when I was at the University of Miami. If there was any soap anywhere near the broadcasters during a game, then they would have used it to wash our mouths out with soap. That’s because our chant to ND was, “They suck. We swallow.” Which was actually one of our cleaner chants! It’s great to be a Miami Hurricane!


What better way to celebrate football’s 100th year, than with Betty White
September 5th, 2019 under Betty White, Sports figures. [ Comments: 4 ]

The National Football League is 100 years old. To celebrate the milestone they got someone just as old to promote it. Betty White. Because when I think of football, I think of her. Well, I think of that Snickers ad that ran during the Super Bowl. But you know what I meant.

Anyways, when I think of 100, I do think of Ms. White since she is the oldest celebrity we know. Therefore, NBC and the NFL made the wise choice. Plus, who doesn’t love having her back on our televisions again? She is as much as a treasure as football itself.

She is a much bigger one! But don’t those pig skin loving people I said that.

Watch the game tonight and Sundays on NBC!


The 2019 Scripps National Spelling Bee ran out of challenging words
May 31st, 2019 under Sports figures. [ Comments: none ]

Yesterday, was the 2019 Scripps National Spelling Bee and they had not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six, not seven but eight winners. How did that happen? After 20 rounds, nine hours and spelling 152 words correctly, they ran out of words to challenge the Octochamps: Erin Howard; Rishik Gandhasri; Abhijay Kodali; Shruthika Padhy; Rohan Raja; Saketh Sundar; Sohum Sukhatankar; and Christopher Serrao.

I might not be that smart because I was eliminated from a spelling bee due to the word imbecile; but isn’t there a book with an endless amount of words they could use to get some more. You know, like a dictionary? I guess not.

It was a costly decision because it cost them $400,000, $50,000 per kid. You better believe there are going to be changes to next year’s competition. As exciting as it is to watch, it ain’t cheap to have that many winners.

BTW the Octochamps were on Good Morning America today and they were all happy to share the win. I wonder if they would have felt the same if they had to share the $50,000 grand prize. What are they going to do with their winnings? Save it for college, of course. They are smart kids. Unlike me who would have thrown a massive party with the money. Which is why I was taken down by imbecile. That and my teachers hated me!


How can I enter this tournament?
March 18th, 2019 under Sports figures. [ Comments: none ]

via Hunter Johnson
I went to the University of Miami and we won a lot of national championships while I was there; but nothing as titillating as what Auburn won yesterday. They were crowned the champs of the Sex Tournament. I guess I went to the wrong school.

Or did I? Someone at CBS 42 in Birmingham, was so excited about the win, that they hit the X instead of the C on the keyboard. Which means they actually won the SEC tournament instead. Major let down for everyone including us.

Although, I am sure a lot of players were slam dunking after the game. You know, playing their own sex tournaments.


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