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If Jason Voorhees can wear a mask, so can you
June 30th, 2020 under Ads, Coronavirus. [ Comments: 3 ]


Back in 1989, Jason Voorhees took Manhattan, and then Manhattan took him after he took a lot of people. No matter how many times people tried and successfully killed him, he always wore his mask.

Therefore, it makes sense that New York would ask him to be their face…covered by a mask to prevent the spread of coronavirus, to get people to wear one.

While Jason can get killed and come back to life, people cannot. You don’t want to be a Jason and kill people because you didn’t wear a mask, so wear one.

Let’s stop the spread of COVID-19 and wear a mask! They are fashionable. They have different designs now. You don’t have to brush your teeth. Men don’t have to shave, and women don’t have to wear a mask. What is the downside?

I don’t know why people say wearing a mask will kill you. Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, Leatherface, and Ghostface all wear masks, and they never die. No matter how many times they get killed. And they have been killed a lot of times in a lot of different ways!

On a side note, I wish they would have used a different voice actor. They should have gone with Jon Bon Jovi because he’s from New Jersey too. That and I always pictured Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, son, son, son, son with a raspy voice like Bon Jovi’s.

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Wassup is back
May 4th, 2020 under Ads, Coronavirus. [ Comments: none ]


Back during the turn of the century, Budweiser had a successful line of commercials with men going, “Wassup.”

After 18 years, the sound that was funny at first and annoying after a week, is back during the Coronavirus to remind us to check in with our friends and family to find out wassup with them.

This way, when we call and scream that in their ears, they will honor social distancing by not see us in a while. Want people to stay away from you, then just yell wassup at them. If you say it to me, I will have no problem staying more than 6′ away from you.

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Geico has a Ratt problem
April 13th, 2020 under 80s, Ads. [ Comments: none ]


One of my favorite Heavy Metal songs from the ’80s is Round and Round by Ratt. I can listen to that song over and over again as it goes round and round on the record player. Does anyone still have one of those?

As we ponder that, I have also wondered whatever happed to the band. Well, it turns out they are still around and touring. Well, when bands will be able to tour again. Which someone predicted won’t be until the fall of 2021.

Anyways back to Ratt, they need to make money some way, so how are they going to do it? They are going to do a commercial for Geico Insurance. Talk about a great insurance policy. Do you think they get free insurance for doing the advertisement?

Once again, back to the Stephan Percy, Juan Croucier, Peter Holmes, and Jordan Ziff, they can still rock out like it is 1984—the good old days when we could leave our houses and go to concerts.

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Jason Momoa reveals his true self
February 3rd, 2020 under Ads, Jason Momoa. [ Comments: none ]


When you think of Jason Momoa, you think of him as a good-looking, muscular man with gorgeous long thick curly hair you want to run your fingers through. Well, it is all fake. In fact, so much so, he is more plastic than the Real Housewives.

The beefcake revealed that he wears lifts to make him look taller, foam rubber arms and chest to give him muscles, and a wig to cover up his balding crown. Even without all of that, I would still help him lift up his 10-pound dumbbell.

What wasn’t dumb was Rocket Mortgage blowing at least $5 million to air that commercial during the Super Bowl because it is as perfect as the lead himself. I don’t have a house and I want to take out a mortgage with them. That is what commercials are supposed to do. At least that is what my advertising teachers told me when I was in college. After telling me, I would never make it in advertising.

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Mr. Peanut is dead, long live Baby Peanut
February 3rd, 2020 under Ads. [ Comments: none ]


Last week, Planters killed off Mr. Peanut and yesterday during the Super Bowl they buried him. By some miracle, the tears of his friends, over his grave, were enough to resurrect the mascot. It was not enough to restore him to his former self. Instead, the 104-year-old icon returned as baby, and we are nuts over him.

How long will he stay that way? As long as it works. When people are on to the next baby whatever he will be back to his old state. I mean who wants to see awkward Teenage Peanut with braces and zits?

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