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Remember when Gwyneth Paltrow sold a candle called This Candle Smells Like My Vagina? Well, yesterday she told Jimmy Fallon on The Tonight Show she has a new one out.
What is it? It is This Candle Smells Like My Orgasm. Maybe when she was having sex with Brad Pitt, we would have wanted to know what it smelled like. However, after years of doing it with the lead singer of Coldplay (is that like boring four play) and Ryan Murphy’s #2, I don’t want to know what it smells like.
Do you want to know what scent you will be inhaling? According to GOOP, it wreaks of “tart grapefruit, neroli, and ripe cassis berries blended with gunpowder tea and Turkish rose absolutes.” The site says it’s a “scent that’s sexy, surprising, and wildly addictive.” It did not give my nose a rise.
On that note, what is the next candle going to be called, This Candle Smells Like My Penis? It will have the aroma of seductive musk with hints of fromunder cheese, Callery Pear, and Vaseline® hand lotion blended in beer and scotch.
In the words of KC and the Sunshine Band, “Baby, give it up. Give it up. Baby, Give it up!”
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