Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Film-maker KEVIN SMITH has blasted his friend BEN AFFLECK for failing to cast him in his directional debut GONE, BABY, GONE. Affleck is currently filming the mystery drama in his native Massachusetts and upset Smith when he didn’t ask him to cameo in the movie. Affleck has appeared in six Smith movies, including CHASING AMY, JERSEY GIRL and MALLRATS. Smith fumes, "I can’t believe I cast the motherf**ker in six movies and he didn’t have the f**king courtesy to be like, ‘Do you want to show up in Gone, Baby, Gone?’" Smith is currently in Boston promoting his new film CLERKS II and in unsure whether or not to visit Affleck on set. He explains, "When you’re on a movie set, unless you’ve got a job to do, you’re just in the way. I would like to see him in his directorial element and give him s**t. But I don’t want to distract him."

Contact Music 

"I was a maintenance guy at a Bob’s Big Boy in Virginia, and I had to clean the bathrooms," admits "Nip/Tuck"’s top doc DYLAN WALSH, who has come a long way since.

His fellow smooth operator, JULIAN McMAHON, also had to do a nasty bit of washing-up. "I had to clean buckets in a flower store," the handsome Aussie tells ET. "That’s not good, because once the flowers are a couple of days old, they get that stinky, cruddy stuff on them that stinks. It is a nasty job. I had to go to the flower store every morning at 3 a.m. to get the flowers, and then go back at six to clean the buckets. But I got paid and that is all that matters."

‘The Lake House’ star SANDRA BULLOCK also did some time pushing a mop and broom. "I was a cleaning lady in an insurance company and the insurance agency I worked for was pretty gnarly. The stuff in the trash cans and ashtrays!" she exclaims.

Even critically acclaimed actor STANLEY TUCCI did his share of cleaning while waiting for his talent to be discovered, explaining, "I had to clean outhouses. Could there be a worst job?"

But Sandra’s ‘The Lake House’ co-star KEANU REEVES claims he never had a bad job. "I always try to make good out of what I am doing," he philosophizes.

Even though most of the celebrities polled for this story list cleaning as the worst job, there were a few who asked, "Would you like fries with that?"

"I was a waitress in a diner and I got fired seven times, but it was not my fault," declares "George Lopez" star CONSTANCE MARIE. "I got attacked by their Rottweiler one time and they fired me like it was my fault. They put me on the morning shift and then when I got there at 5:30 in the morning, they told me I was on the afternoon shift and [I was told] to go home. I said, ‘I have been working all morning. It is nine o’clock! What am I going to do now?’ Another time, I spilled a whole cake on the floor, and I got fired for that. It kind of sucked."

‘The Devil Wears Prada"’s English beauty EMILY BLUNT was also in the food services. "I worked in a catering company and it was horrendous," she recalls. "I would be banished to the kitchen, because I was wearing the wrong shoes. It was one of those things where you are handing out canapés on these huge trays that my boss would create. I was this scrawny, little 15-year-old who was shaking [and I could barely hold up the tray]."

ET 

Come on, rich people! Just because the dinner is for children’s charities doesn’t mean you get to act like a kid.

The other night at Tavern on the Green, folks who paid $1,500 a seat — and $30,000 a table — had a bad case of attention-deficit disorder when married country stars Tim McGraw and Faith Hill did their darnedest to entertain at the Samsung Four Seasons of Hope gala.

While McGraw belted out his hit "Something Like That," some people milled around, chatting loudly at the bar, and many more — including radio personality Curtis Sliwa — simply got up and left.

"Gosh, you’re quiet!" the gorgeous Hill said mildly after clapping her hands, dancing and whooping it up during her hubby’s song in a valiant attempt to rouse the dead. "I really embarrassed myself. I thought you all’d stand up."

When emcee Bob Costas auctioned off tickets to their sold-out Madison Square Garden concerts, one set of four all-access passes went for the $1,500 minimum, and the other — thanks to Joe Torre’s wife, Ali — went for an uncontested $2,000.

Meanwhile, America’s Mayor, Rudy Giuliani, got his Hall of Famers confused when he praised Michael Jordan for his work with the charities. That was Magic Johnson, your honor!

LLoyd Grove 

British band BABYSHAMBLES briefly split on Saturday (24JUN06) after frontman PETE DOHERTY failed to turn up for a gig in Paris, France. The troubled rocker failed to meet his bandmates at London’s Waterloo station to board the Eurostar train to Paris, leaving drummer ADAM FICEK and bassist DREW MCDONNELL fuming. British newspaper The Sun claims the pair quit the band after waiting in Waterloo for six hours, but agreed to return the following day after receiving an epic apology from Doherty. The band are currently looking for a record label after they were dumped by Rough Trade last month (MAY06). Their debut album DOWN IN ALBION entered the UK charts at number 10 last year (05) and has only sold 110,000 copies in six months.

Contact Music 

If like everyone else you’ve been wondering what happened to Suri Cruise and why we’ve never seen a picture of her, here is part of the answer: No one wanted to pay for her.

According to my sources, a photo shoot of Suri was offered to Wire Image, the prestigious agency, for sale to the various celebrity magazines right after the little "Mission: Impossible"/"Dawson’s Creek" tyke was born in silence to her unmarried movie star parents Tom Cruise and the dazed-looking Katie Holmes. An auction was conducted, with People, US Weekly, Star and the lesser names like In Touch all putting in their two cents.

Unfortunately, it must have felt like two cents to Cruise given the amount that Shiloh Jolie-Pitt fetched from People: $4 million, not to mention more from magazines around the world.

The Cruise auction is said to have produced not more than a $3 million bid. At that point, the offer was rescinded. The mission was termed "impossible." No further word was heard from the Cruise camp.

Exactly who from Cruise’s strange inner circle initiated the contact is still unknown, although I am told the enterprise was "official." It’s likely that the Church of Scientology would have gotten a cut, too, considering they like to take 10 percent of everything from their celebrity clients.

And now that Suri is almost three months old, has her price gone up or down? The answer, says one of the mag’s experts, is down.

"Shiloh was the whole deal," my source said. "We won’t see a baby like that again for a while."

In other words, Britney Spears shouldn’t expect a windfall for her latest Federline product.

Fox 411 

He He He! Seriously, I wonder how much they were asking for? And Jack Black should take some comfort in this story. 

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