Seriously? OMG! WTF? » Josh Gorban wrote a song about how beans make you fart
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[ # ] Josh Gorban wrote a song about how beans make you fart
April 7th, 2021 under Josh Groban


Josh Groban has the voice of an angel, but the humor of the Devil. How does it sound when he combines the two for a song?

Bush’s Beans asked him to write a tootenanny that promotes their product, and his naughty wit shined through like his voice makes the clouds part so we can see the sun shine.

“It’s finally here and it has everything. The magic of beans, romance, whimsy, my father,” Groban said. “Thanks @BushsBeans for asking me to write this and for your donation of 250,000 cans to @FeedingAmerica. This was too much fun. Please enjoy!”

Grobs will work for food, just food for other people. I just feel bad for the Feeding America volunteers who are going to be smelling a lot of farts as they hand out the cans. Butt then again, beans are a good source of nutrition, even if they are a bad source of odor.

To read the clever lyrics, then

When I was a little boy
the kids could be so
(MEAN MEAN MEAN)
laughing at what was in my lunch pail
(BEANS BEANS BEANS)

They’d yell about the musical fruit
They’d say the more that I ate, the more I’d
(TOOT TOOT TOOT)
But I swear that they’ve never made me do that
(THERE’S NO SHAME)

I’d zip my beans up and roll like the wind
Just wishing that I belonged
And If I could take me back in time
I’d sing that bearded boy; this song

Tears of beans
Are dribbling down my cheek at night
Dreams of beans
I’m on a cannellini cloud floatin’ through the moonlit night

But in the morning I’m still trying
To hide the fact I’m crying these tears
Tears of beans

This key change means it’s time to show
a flash-forward to my
(TEENS TEENS TEENS)
I had an appetite for success but now I had to deal with
(MEMES MEMES MEMES)

Yeah, music’s cool but have you considered all the healthy benefits of
(BEAN PROTEINS)
It’s not a fruit and the reason you toot is something called oligosaccharides!
(JOSH, IT’S REALLY OK)

I must have lost my mind, it’s easy to assume
(DON’T WANNA ASSUME)
Otherwise, why would I sing this song about a guilty pleasure legume,
besides being paid…
How ‘bout another key change!

Beans!
I wish I could eat this instrument
Here’s to beans!
I’m gonna bake a bean ballad the world won’t soon forget
More precious than a diamond and more cherished than gold,
next time propose with a bean ‘cause fortune favors the bold

For a schmancy affair or dad’s barbecue grillin’
Or outta the can like a cowboy villain
Here’s to beans
Beautiful beans!

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