When you think of Sir Patrick Stewart, you think of a man who just recently found out that he wasn’t circumcised.
Sorry, that is how I think of him. You actually think of him as a dignified actor. Well, that is not always the case like in American Dad and Blunt Talk, but still. And soon we will see him in his sh!tiest role to date because he is playing 💩 in The Emoji Movie. I think the role should’ve gone to Seth Rogen because his voice sounds like that to me, but instead it went to a classy sounding British guy.
As we know he sounds classy, but he also has a wicked sense of humor to go with it. Yesterday, when he was on The Late Show, Stephen Colbert asked him about playing 💩. Here’s what the Sir told him, “I think she (The Queen of England) will approve because she will know, for me, poop, has been…a life long work in progress.” Then he explained why this role is method for him, “Totally internal until it is external…But you see, when I was an infant, of course, it was more spontaneous. But what is interesting in my teens, it took a kind of, umm, comedic spurt. It was low farce rather than high comedy. But as I matured, so did my output.”
With that answer, I cannot see anyone but him playing 💩. That is because that response was full of so much 💩, how can anyone else but him voice the role of a lifetime. It could easily be on his tombstone in 100 years from now, “Here lies a 💩”.
In case you couldn’t tell the 💩 is my favorite emoji. Therefore, I am happy one my favorite actors is playing him.
Sir Patrick Stewart was on The Graham Norton Show today and he might have just told one of the best stories on a talk show ever.
The BBC host asked the actor about a disagreement he had with his wife about a certain part of himself. One night, when his wife and him were talking, he said to her, “…being circumcised and all.” She told him, “You’re not circumcised.” Wait, who would know better the man who is missing part of his penis his whole life or the woman who has seen it up close?
You see, let’s backtrack. When the Sir was a kid it was fashionable to look Jewish down there, so his mother told him that he was. Was she lying to him or his wife?
There was only one person who could answer this very important question and that is his doctor. The day after the Stewarts had this argument, Captain Picard got his annual physical. As the doctor was done there, he asked if he was indeed cut or not. The doctor gave him some blunt talk and said, “Not!” Stewart did not believe him and asked him to check again. This time the doctor told him, “Hey, I am Jewish. I know the difference.”
Hopefully, now so does Stewart. Can you imagine going through your whole life thinking you were circumcised and you were not. Good thing his wife knew the difference because now we have this wonderful story to remember him by. I know it is how I will remember the actor forever. So much so, it should be on his tombstone, “Here lies a man, who was circumcised.” After a few years, no one will be the wiser.
Now, back to the interview, Hugh Jackman’s reaction to the uncut tale was hysterical. I would’ve been peeing in my pants from laughter if I was there. How can you not watch this and not be in hysterics? Bloody brillant!
Sir Patrick Stewart has a crappy new job, and he is loving it. Sony Pictures announced yesterday that the acclaimed actor is going to voice the Poop emoji in The Emoji Movie and I can’t think of anyone better to do it. Because he’s The Sh!t, so why shouldn’t he play it in the animated movie that comes out on August 4th.
If you have been wondering where Sir Patrick Stewart is recently, he has been lost in field of dreams. They built it, he came, “but everyone had gone to lunch.” They were too busy eating corn chowder, corn on the cob, corn fritters and popcorn to look for him. So to this day, they know he is lost in a corn field, they just don’t where. Therefore, they are sending in the Children of the Corn to find him. Oh wait, that might not be the best of ideas…
Ever since we have known Sir Patrick Stewart, his head has been as shiny as his stardom. But today he shared a photo of what he would look like if he wasn’t bald.
Why does he suddenly have hair on the top of his head? He’s filming a flashback scene for his show Blunt Talk and that is what he would’ve looked like 30 years ago.
Now that we have seen him this way, I can’t wait for him to go back to old way. I don’t normally find hairless men sexy, but he is what the expression bald is beautiful is all about.
How do you prefer Captain Picard?
