The Property Brothers were on Conan yesterday and they talked about their track record with the ladies.
Did you know that Drew was so bad with women that he had to buy a book to get better with them? Jonathan said his twin went from not being able to talk to girls to becoming a douce. In fact, Drew’s pickup line to his now-wife was, “Where did you get that water?” Hey, it worked.
When it comes to Jonathan, he once had a married homeowner hit on him, and her husband had no idea what she was doing. Drew acted out how she would come out of nowhere and do this slithering thing to let Jonathan know she was interested. He was not.
The brothers said she was not the only weird person whose house they worked on. Of the 400 people, they worked with there were about a dozen that made their internal weird reel. Oh, to be a fly on the wall to see what is on that tape.
Then the twins pointed out that a lot of construction terms are really perverted. Things like “lube up the nipple” and “lay some caulk.” You know, HGTV should give them a show demonstrating all of these terms and call it HGTV After Dark. They can film it at the Brady Bunch house to give it that ’70s porn feel. I would pay attention to every word they say, and I don’t care about remodeling. I just hope that Drew doesn’t use any of his pickup lines because they are really awful.
A few months ago, Kumail Nanjiani showed off his bodacious bod, and the internet went crazy. So much so, he was featured on PornHub as a Muscular Man, and they gave a free subscription to their premium videos for ten years. Which he is enjoying.
Yesterday, when he finally showed up for his appearance on Conan, he talked about those new muscles. Not just the one arm! Anyways, does he feel stronger? Nanjiani admitted, “No. These muscles are decorative. They don’t do anything.”
Since they don’t do anything, does that mean he hasn’t changed because he has them? He says, “I am slightly less interesting because I do talk about working out a lot.” Then he added, “And I am slightly less funny.”
Something he did say that was funny, is that he thought about canceling on Conan O’Brien again. You see, back in July, the actor canceled on the talk show at the last minute, and they filled his spot with Conan’s assistant. Nanjiani thought it would be funny if he did it again. However, he did not do it.
The actor also apologized for canceling because he was stuck taping Silicon Valley. To show Conan how sorry he is, he promises never to do another episode of the show. Isn’t that nice of him not to do any more episodes for the show that has wrapped filming of its final season?
Jeff Goldblum was a guest on Conan O’Brien’s talk show, yesterday and he wanted to make sure his mouth stayed moist. Therefore, he sucked on a sucking candy. Conan being Conan called him out on it.
However, the conversation changed, and they wound up talking about their wedding bands. When Goldblum was looking at the TBS host’s ring, Conan put on Jeff’s glasses. The look would not be complete without the sucker, so he gave it to the interviewer.
What did Conan do? He put it in his mouth, grossing out his audience. However, I look it as, now that they have swapped spit, they are forever bonded. Who wouldn’t want to be bonded with the open shirt sexy guy from Jurassic Park? I do! I guess that is why they say Earth Girls Are Easy!
Conan O’Brien is the hostess with the mostess. As in, he has had a late night talk show on longer than all of the other ones. What is his secret to still having a show on the air after 26 years, four different shows an,d two networks? Being the opposite of The Watchmen?
What does that mean? Since the HBO show’s first season ended so perfectly, some critics said it should not be renewed. To which Conan says that is why he has been on the air for over a quarter of a century. His secret is to “never be that good.”
Personally, I do not think he is that good. I think he is the best late night host on TV. That is why he survived Jay Leno and is still going strong.
Disney and the broadcast networks like to live version of Disney animated productions. However, there is one they will most likely never do. Especially after watching this bit, and that is Bambi.
The thing I love most about Conan O’Brien is that he is not afraid to go there. He might regret it afterward, but he enjoyed it up until it aired. While people, like me, enjoy it for a long time after it airs. Is that wrong of us?
