Cards Against Humanity is a funny, fun game to play. However, they are serious when it comes to politics.
So much so that they are willing to pay left-leaning people up to $100 who live in Swing States who didn’t vote in the 2020 election to apologize for not taking part in democracy. All you have to do is go to Apologize.lol, fill out the information, and then post their message with the hashtag #DonaldTrumpIsAHumanToilet.
“It’s a crazy legal loophole that we can just start a Super PAC, buy the personal voting records of every American on the internet, and then pay blue-leaning non-voters to apologize and make a ‘voting plan,'” CAH explained. “This whole thing should probably be illegal!”
If you are like me, live in a blue state, and voted in the last presidential election, know we are not left out. We can “support the cause by getting our all-new 2024 Election Pack [for $7.99], featuring 30 fresh cards about this insane election. 100% of the profits will directly pay blue-leaning non-voters to actually give a shit.”
And if you want to do a big FU to Elon Musk, here is a way you can do it. The man who destroyed Twitter started a Super PAC to pay people in Swing States to get other red leaning people to vote. CAH found a way to get the $47 he is offering to go their way to pay their Super Pac.
“If you’re a registered voter in PA, GA, NV, AZ, NC, WI, or MI, just type your name into this dumb website for his PAC, put “[email protected]” as your referrer, and they’ll be legally obligated to pay us $47. The more people who do this, the more Musk money we’ll get to un-fuck America,” they wrote. “If he doesn’t pay up, we’ll sue him again.”
We have seen Wolverine against humanity in Deadpool and Wolverine. So, it would make sense that Hugh Jackman likes to play Cards Against Humanity when he is not filming scenes with his frenemy Ryan Reynolds.
Well, when the card game found that out, they made the actor an offer:
Mr. Jackman,
We’re huge fans of your hard muscles and kind eyes. You are the best actor in the world.
Our offer stands: Please post a video saying you like Cards Against Humanity, preferably with your shirt off, and we’ll donate $10,000 to charity.
I think this is an easy request for him to fulfill, so I hope he does it. After all, it is for a good cause.
We have all played Cards of Humanity. And now they want something from you. They want your quirky short films (that are between 4-40 minutes long), that make you declare, “Oh, the humanity,” like Les Nessman from WKRP in Cincinnati, for their Cards Against Humanity Short Film Festival.
How can you enter? You need to pay $40 to enter at CAHFest.com. Then you send them your short via YouTube or Vimeo by July 25th. Then they will select the finalists by September 12th.
How will you see who made the finals? In October, they are releasing the Movie Night Box with 30 new cards. Along with the cards, you will get the key to watch the festival and pick a winner.
What does the winner get? They will get $100,000! The second-place winner gets a tenth of that. And all the other finalists get a tenth of that.
While the money is nice, there is something even better for the finalists. Thousands of people will see their works of art! And people who will get it, unlike your Aunt Mary Alice, who is still only watching black and white wholesome movies.
Are you sick of giving your kids Benadryl to knock them out so that you can play Cards Against Humanity with your friends? Well, now you can play with them because there is a family edition of the best game ever made! It is PG-13, so they can play along and laugh at fart jokes like us. We might get old, but those jokes never do.
With 600 cards included in the box, we can have hours and hours of fun with our kids for once. Heck, since my friends’ kids are in school remotely, I am going to go over to their house at 1p and play with the adults while the kids are virtually learning and can’t play. This way they can what we do when they are in school. Now you know why they call me the Wicked Witch, and they have never seen Wizard of Oz.
Let’s say you are playing at night, and you have finally put the brats to sleep. Can you mix the Family Edition up with the other editions? CHA says, “We once heard of a man in Dubuque, Iowa who did this, and his butt exploded.” They reiterated, “Yes, it was quite serious. His entire butt exploded all over the place. If you still wish to tempt fate, please note that Family Edition cards are a little wider and have different backs than regular CAH cards.” Aren’t there a few cards about that in the adult editions?
Get the Family Edition now, so that you will have something to do for the holidays. It is not like we will be able to see our families this year because some a$$hole ate a raw bat in a wet market (not that type of wet market) and spread a killer virus all over the world.
Back in 1992, Sir Mix-A-Lot became a household name because of his song Baby Got Back. Now, 27 years later, Cards Against Humanity found a way to use him to promote their latest pack. It is dedicated to all of those backs aka a$$es. Because you can’t be the butt of all jokes without a pack dedicated to just butts. Especially if you are this party game that helps you get to know your friends and family better than you ever knew them before. Maybe too much.
The A$$ pack with 30 cards goes for $5. Which is not bad if you consider that you get each card for less than $.17. Although can you really put a price on all the joy you will get from them?
BTW Sir Mix-A-Lot helped write some of the playing cards because we know baby got their backs. That was a lame joke.
