Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Candy Spelling reached to Larry Birkhead through TMZ with some motherly advice. Which makes me wonder if she has a crush on him! But seriously if you read this letter, don't you wonder why she is doing this?

Dear Larry:

3) The lawyers: You've already found out that you have turned from man to cash machine. Lawyers aren't the only ones who will see you that way, especially if you are Dannielynn's biological father. The good news is that someone who presents you with a bill for $620,492.84 must think you have a good case. The bad news is that you will need more lawyers to fight the legal bills. My advice: Negotiate in advance, and put in a clause against expenses for lawyers, spouses, meals or laundry.

I wish you success in court on Tuesday, but beware: There's never enough preparation for "celebrity." I'll never get used to tour buses and cameras outside my house every day, reporters analyzing my grocery choices, and bloggers pretending to know more about my family than I do; but I do have a good life. Yours can be, too. Just remember that celebrity and/or money mean that nothing will ever be the same — and act accordingly.

All the best,

Candy Spelling

(photo from Celebrity Mound) 

Anna Nicole Smith died from an accidental overdose of a powerful sedative that became lethal when mixed with nine other prescription drugs found in her system, according to a coroner's report released this morning. The combined toxicity of the sleeping medication, chloral hydrate, and the other drugs (including anti-anxiety Valium, Klonopin, and Ativan) resulted in the 39-year-old Smith's death, concluded Dr. Joshua Perper, the Broward County medical examiner. The medical examiner's investigation also found that "contributory causes" in Smith's death were a viral flu and an abscess that had developed on her buttock as a result of injections. Perper noted that the level of chloral hydrate–which is often used to combat insomnia and slows respiration–found in Smith's system was not, in itself, lethal. But combined with the other drugs, which were found at "therapeutic levels," the chloral hydrate proved lethal. On February 8, Smith was found dead at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Hollywood, Florida. Despite news accounts of Smith's abuse of an array of narcotics, toxicology tests revealed that she did not have methadone or other opiates in her system at the time of her death.

The Smoking Gun (check out the link for the full autopsy report) 

Now we just need to know what will happen with Daniel's inquest and who is Dannielynn's dad,

According to TMZ Larry Birkhead is no longer working with his lawyer Debra Opri. She had this to say,"Larry Birkhead and I have terminated our attorney-client relationship effective immediately." TMZ also said that the parting of ways is not really a surprise because the two of them have been butting heads since they were in Florida for the fight over Anna Nicole Smith's body. There have been a lot of rumors that Birkhead has been trying to work out a deal with Howard K Stern to get back Dannielynn and Opri tried to persuade him against it. Opri did have parting word about her working relationship with Birkhead, "My prayers will be with Larry and Dannielynn always." I just hope he can hire a lawyer that will help him get his daughter back because it just seems Opri was not doing that good of a job on that. I mean how many times can a Judge postpone a DNA test even when the person blocking it was dead?

(Photo from the AP) 

sJust when you think that Anna Nicole Smith story can't get any weirder, Phoenix New Times prints a story you have to read to believe and even then you question it.

Forget the whole who is the father of Dannielynn? The question today is Anna Nicole Smith the mother of a four year old boy. Yes you read that right, a man is claiming that Anna Nicole had his son 4 years ago and she choose for him to raise her son. Johnny Sotto, a Native American says that he met her when she was staying in Arizona at a spa. Anna  Nicole and him flirted a lot and she was curious to know what it was like to be with a guy that wasn't white, his words not mine. "At first, it was all in fun," Soto details. "She'd call my you-know-what her 'tomahawk,' her 'wooden Indian,' or 'big wampum.' Sometimes she'd ask me to do a war dance naked with this feather from one of her dresses stuck in my baseball cap. I tried to tell her that the Tohono O'odham don't wear feathers, but she didn't care. She thought it was funny, and it turned her on, so I did it, though I have no idea if our people even have a war dance." I guess all that dancing led to a lot of unprotected sex and she found herself pregnant with his kid. Because of her religious beliefs she told him she could not have an abortion and decided to give him the baby. They named the baby Marshall after her late husband. Anna Nicole supported Johnny and Marshall by sending them $10,000 a month. 

Anna Nicole kept in touch with them throughout all these years and the last time he heard from her was the beginning of the year. "The last time she called in January, she didn't sound right," Soto recalls. "I knew she was again back on the drugs. Her speech was slurred, and she was saying crazy stuff about how there were rats under her bed trying to eat her feet, and that the Mafia was out to kill her for her money. Before I heard the news, I got a letter in the mail from her, written in lipstick, with a photo of her shaving Howard K. Stern's butt. I thought maybe she needed to be institutionalized. Obviously, the birth of Dannielynn and Daniel's overdose — it was just too much for her."

Now with the death of Anna Nicole he wonders if his son should be the heir to her fortune. A fortune that comes from his namesake. "Do you know how to get hold of [former Arizona attorney general and now trial lawyer] Grant Woods?" he asks, after Marshall had cried himself to sleep following a wrenching day of watching his mom's funeral. "We're not greedy, but Marshall's older than Dannielynn, and I want him to have what's rightfully his. That's one reason I decided to go public. I didn't know where else to turn. Right now the tribe is helping me, and if we win, I'll make sure they get half of whatever Marshall inherits. I want him to grow up on the reservation, to learn our language and what we call the O'odham 'himdag', the O'odham way of life. But we can't do it by ourselves. This is the white man's law, and we need someone who knows the white man's law to help." It always comes down to money with the men (minus Larry Birkhead) who were in Anna Nicole's life, so sad.

Does this story seem too weird to be true? Chances are it is a fake and the Phoenix New Times has pulled an early April Fool's on all of us! Good for them because this was a brilliant joke!

Thank you so much Michelle! 

Could a technicality force a DNA test to prove who the real father of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter is? A Bahamian lawyer claims that the 6-month-old baby's birth certificate is invalid, because it was signed by the wrong party. Godfrey "Pro" Pinder told the Freeport News in an exclusive interview Sunday that although Howard K. Stern is named as the father on the certificate, attorney Dion Smith Jr. signed his name where Stern's signature should have gone. "In America, the lawyer puts his name there, but in The Bahamas either a parent, someone who witnessed the birth, the midwife, or someone who lives in the house where the baby was born must sign there." If lawyers in the case discover this, said Pinder, they can ask that a new birth certificate be drawn up, and request a DNA test to show who the father is. A hearing in the custody case is set for March 16. Both Smith's ex-boyfriend, Larry Birkhead, and Stern claim to be the baby's father. Smith's mother, Virgie Arthur, also has filed for custody of the baby.

CBS News

Why couldn't they have found that error earlier, it would've made life so much easier on so many people. And looks like the Bahamian is government is not a fan of Howard K Stern if they are coming forward with this now knowing what it all means. 

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