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[ # ] My review of The Police…and it is not so pretty
June 26th, 2007 under The Police

So after waiting almost a quarter of a century to see The Police together live, I can't begin to tell you how disappointed I was. Maybe I should have taken it as a sign that I wasn't able to get tickets to the show until 4:08p day of the show, but I am glad that I saw them before they died because this will never happen again. The other sign I ignored was there no buzz or online reviews about the show after the opening night at a small venue in Vancouver. I choose to ignore those signs, and since I was not warned I will take the time to warn you about one of the biggest let downs since Star Wars Episode 1. 
After months of waiting for tickets and having two options I was finally able to go see one of my favorite bands at Dodgers Stadium. A week ago a friend offered me a ticket for $275 and I turned it down because they just didn't seem worth that price anymore. My other friends Mark and Ayn had two extra tickets, but I didn't know who would be interested in the second seat, so I figured that was not going to happen. That was until Mark said he one ticket available for $125 day of the show and that I was willing to pay that amount so I said yes. He finally got back to me at 4:08p and said be over here at 5p…fun. We heard that Sting's son (as Ayn calls him Offsting) was playing at 6:30p and Foo Fighters at 7:15p so we opted to skip Offsting and just go for Foo Fighters. We got to our seats about 10 minutes before Foo Fighters and considering the price the seats were not that bad and neither were the Foo Fighters.
Now let's get to The Police…
My friend who offered me the $275 ticket was sitting on the floor about 10 rows back and the two of us were text messaging each other through the whole Police performance. Yes you read that right we were that bored that we were texting throughout the whole show. Well anyways about 10 minutes before The Police started she texted me and said Jimmy Kimmel (yay looks like he will be doing show this week) was sitting near her and so was Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr, at that point I regretted not paying the $275 for tickets. That thought would quickly change…
Finally at 9p Sting was kind of enough to grace us with his presence. The show started off OK and we didn't notice any changes to the songs, that of course would change after the second song and went down hill after that. Sting decided to change up every freaking song and make them slower and more boring and take all the punk out of them. But you will have to wait to get to that point because we had to listen to him perform a bunch of obscure songs he wrote that led the 55,000 people at Dodgers Stadium to sit down, send text messages and make phone calls and I am not joking about how many people I saw use their cell phones as phones and not as recording devices at the show. So how do I know the songs were written by Sting, well he hates the Grammy winning songs that Andy Summers wrote so why would he perform them. Finally Sting is done performing his boring obscure songs and it is time for a real Police hit we all know Every Little Thing She Does is Magic! Yay! So I text my friend "The Viagra Kicked In" by the time I hit send Sting changed up the song, slowed it down and lost the feel of the song. It just kept worse and worse. He messed with Don't Stand So Close to Me that it was almost hard to sing along with. Dudes he even slowed down Wrapped Around Your Finger to the point candles were able to burn all the way through. How do you slow down Finger, the song was slow enough to begin with. At this point I texted my friend and said "Not worth $275." and believe me it wasn't. Now it is time for Roxanne and my friend Rusty had a tear in his eye as Sting changed yet another song and destroyed it. I had to console him as Sting renamed the song Roxanno for what seemed like 100 times but I am sure it was only about 30. After about 10 times even the audience got bored singing Roxanno Roxanno Roxanno. Sorry bad memories. Finally time for 3 freaking encores, where the encores were shorter than the elongated songs Sting created. Yes Sting even slowed down King of Pain and Every Breathe You Take. Again how do you slow down a song like Every Breathe You Take. He took the beauty out of that song and made it just another song. So Sad. And that was the show and now time for my critiques of the whole scenario.
Why do I reference Sting and not The Police? Because it was obvious this show was all about Sting and his ego. You can already see the tension and separation that was already going on with band. (Just think that have to perform together for 6 more months and all over the world…oy. I hope they make it.) Sting never went back to Stewart Copeland and jammed with him. In fact I barely remember if Stewart got a drum solo and I would love to have heard that because we all know he can play. Sting also did not jam with Andy unless he was losing camera time. Unlike Stewart, Andy got some guitar solos at the beginning of the concert that were excellent, but didn't seem to go with the songs. And as the show went on it became more and more evident this was about Sting and no one else but Sting. This was not about The Police or the fans. At one point during Walking In Your Footsteps Sting raised his hand over his head for the audience to clap and no one in my section clapped. I asked my friend after the show if anyone clapped on the floor and she said like 3 times if that. When have you been to established band's show and not saw the audience clap after the lead singer tells you to? I haven't?
We waited a quarter of a century to see our songs as we knew them live by a band we loved and all we got was Sting's huge ego that goes with his tiny penis! (I posted pictures earlier this week and it really is tiny.) I have found by reading other reviews by fans (finally found them after the show) that die hards who knew them when they were out originally were disappointed by the show while the Johnnys come lately enjoyed that every freaking song was changed up. Yes I am music purist, but I am willing to accept if a band wants to change up a song or two during their concerts. Like Bon Jovi and Living on a Prayer. But I am not willing to accept every song being changed when I waited 23 years to hear them live. Sting needs to think about other people besides himself, but then again he doesn't care because he has all the money and fame he wants.
The best way to put it is, you can't put the clothes on an old fat man that he wore when he was a skinny kid because they just won't fit. And that is exactly how it was last night, I wanted my youth but I got an old man with a weird faux hawk.
To give you a hint how bad it was, Rusty and I kept looking at the set list on his blackberry that LAist posted from Wednesday's Staples show just to see how many more songs we would have to suffer through and which songs they were going to destroy. I mean I could barely text before the show on my phone and now I am expert. Back to the Staples show for a second, I read a review which said the Dodgers show was better…which makes we wonder how bad the Staples show was.
Just so you know it was not just me. People got up and left mid-way through the show. In fact the people around us commented how bummed they were by the way they changed up the songs. And after the show ended when I told my dad that the show sucked, surrounded by several fans, no one contradicted me or said anything. People were very somber after the show, and I am used to people still being pumped after a good show…aren't you?
There were some funny moments, I have to admit. I texted my friend and told her "I am at the police." She called me immediately to ask if I was OK! I learned after that you have to say "The Police concert." Mark also joked after the show that he was glad he got Rusty's and my money before the show because he knew he was not going to get it afterwards. Mark said it was the muzak version of The Police and he wasn't far off. Sting veered too far off to the Jazz side to recapture his punk past. And that was evident with the new arrangements that were performed during the show.
Yes I have seen worse concerts, two in fact and they were both Sting solo in the '90s! I am so swearing off seeing him live forever. 
So after writing a novel, would I recommend seeing them if you get the chance? Believe it or not yes I would because you will never get the chance to again. But what I would suggest is that you download all the songs from the set list (because they have not been changing it up) to your ipod and listen to them during the show instead and just watch them perform. So here is the set list:
Message In A Bottle
Synchronicity II
Walking on the Moon
Voices Inside My Head
Don't Stand So Close
Driven to Tears
The Bed Is Too Big
Truth Hits Everybody
Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic
Wrapped Around Your Finger
De Do Do Do De Da Da Da
Invisible Sun
Walking In Your Footsteps
Can't Stand Losing You
King of Pain
So Lonely
Every Breath You Take
Next To You
And BTW I still love Andy Summers and Stewart Copeland, maybe they can do a tour together. That I would pay to see!!!

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