Keanu Reeves was on Live with Kelly today and Kelly Ripa confessed a secret to him during a commercial break. She told him, “Back when I used to make out with your cardboard cut out. You remember, don’t you?” Then she explained, “I was on a Soap Opera called All My Children and I had a, a life-size cardboard cut out of you.”
Where did she get it? Her friend worked at Blockbuster (kids before there was Netflix and Amazon people used to have rent movies from a store like that); and when the store was done with it, her friend gave it to her. The daytime talk show host took the one dimensional Keanu, put it in her dressing room and would have her way with it. That’s right.
How does Ted Theodore Logan feel about it? His face looks just like, I am sure it did, when The Wachowskis explained the premise of the Matrix to him. Shock, awe, my mind is completely blown and is this really happening. So much so, you know he is wondering where he can find that phonebooth from Bill & Ted’s and make it so her friend didn’t get the job at the video rental place. This way Kelly would never get his cardboard likeness.
On that note, I wonder how many paper cuts she got from it? Also, the next time Sting is on Live with Kelly, I hope and pray that he reworks Be My Gal, Sally (It is song about a guy making a blowup doll his wife) to Be My Guy, Keanu because that is some weird crap and it totally needs a song.
