DENIS Leary can forget sainthood, after the interview he gave in the August issue of Playboy. "After I graduated . . . I see this really hot-looking blonde [in] hot pants and sneakers," the "Rescue Me" star said. "My brother goes, ‘That’s the hot-looking nun [from school]. She had an affair with one of the other teachers, left the convent and now they’re getting married.’ I was like, ‘Hell . . . all we had to do was ask!’ " Leary remembers when a mom walked up to him at St. Patrick’s Cathedral. "[She] said, ‘You remember me, right? I remember you because you used to feel my daughter up’ . . . I spent the rest of the night avoiding her." He says the Catholic church is richer than the Mob, with "enough money to throw around and settle molestation suits." He zaps Paris Hilton for making "not very good homemade porn. And I’m not talking about the way it was filmed. I’m talking about the actual sex." He rips Adam Sandler for doing "the same thing over and over . . . playing the retard-goofball crazy guy." Finally, Leary wants free sex for the president: "If he’s doing a good job, Keira Knightley gets told, ‘Part of your job is to [bleep] the president . . . then we’ll put you in a big movie.’ "
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Rescue Me is one of my favorite shows!
