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Cory Booker tells cheesy Christmas jokes |
| December 25th, 2019 under Politics. [ Comments: none ]
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While every Presidential candidate is trying to win your vote by telling you what you want to hear, there is one candidate who is doing the opPposite.
N.J. Senator Cory Booker is telling us something we do not want to hear, dad jokes that are perfect for the holiday season. As bad as they are, you know you are going to give at least one of them a spin during your celebration.
If someone laughs, then you have to book a vote for Booker!
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Did Eric Swalwell fart live on the air? |
| November 19th, 2019 under Politics. [ Comments: none ]
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With everything going on in Washington, DC, we need a little distraction from it all. How about a funny noise being heard during former Presidential hopeful Eric Swalwell’s interview with Chris Matthews yesterday. A noise that sounded like a loud fart.
Did the Congressman cut the cheese? Did he deal it? He told Buzzfeed’s Addy Baird that it was not him and he did not hear it. However, he did it find it funny.
Meanwhile, MSNBC’s Hardball gave this explanation of what happened, “Sorry to disappoint the conspiracy theorists – it was the #hardball mug scraping across the desk. Get yours today and let’s get back to the news!”
Now that you heard their silent excuses, do you think they are telling the truth or it is fake news?
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Real World’s Sean Duffy resigns from Congress!!! |
| August 26th, 2019 under Politics. [ Comments: 3 ]
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We got to know Sean Duffy on Real World: Boston and Road Rules: All Stars. He met his wife Rachel Campos on the latter and the two married in 1999. Together they have 8 children with one more on the way.
Back in 2008, he ran for the House of Representatives in Wisconsin and won. He has held that seat even since. Today, he announced his resignation effective next month.
Next to marrying Rachel, representing you – the people and families of Wisconsin’s 7th District – in Congress has been the highest honor of my life. Together, we have engaged in the most important battles of our time: protecting freedom of speech and religious liberty, taking care of our veterans, defending the unborn, and saving American jobs and American capitalism.
After eight and a half years, the time has come for me to focus more on the reason we fight these battles – family.
As you all know, raising a family is hard work. It’s especially true for one as large and busy as mine. Being away from home in Washington four days a week is challenging and for that reason, I have always been open to signs from God when it comes to balancing my desire to serve both my family and my country.
Recently, we’ve learned that our baby, due in late October, will need even more love, time, and attention due to complications, including a heart condition. With much prayer, I have decided that this is the right time for me to take a break from public service in order to be the support my wife, baby and family need right now. It is not an easy decision – because I truly love being your Congressman – but it is the right decision for my family, which is my first love and responsibility.
On September 23, I will step down and allow others to step forward to begin laying out their own vision and plans for leading this beautiful district and the most honest, hard-working, family-oriented, patriotic, and God-fearing constituents in America.
I will be forever grateful for and humbled by the faith and sacred trust you have put in me all these years. I am especially grateful for the prayers said on behalf of our family. We hope they keep coming! I will miss being your Congressman, but I am also looking forward to having more time with my family, being home for more birthdays and hockey games, and having time to enjoy and care for our new baby girl, who is already so loved by our family.
Personally, I don’t believe that excuse. I am not sure what other reason there is, but I think there is more to it.
When it comes to his resignation, I say good riddance. He is a radical Republican and we need a lot less of them so that his 9 children can have a fighting chance of seeing adulthood.
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Tommy Lee for President |
| August 9th, 2019 under Mötley Crüe, Politics. [ Comments: none ]
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When you think of the most bitching and coolest rockers of the ’80s, you think of Tommy Lee. You think of a guy wearing leather pants, when he was actually wearing clothes, marrying some of the most desired blondes, who doesn’t give a f*ck what anyone thinks so he destroyed hotel rooms, says whatever he wants and made sex tapes that showed off his huge mic.
Now that Mötley Crüe has retired from the road, he has some time hands. Therefore, he has taken to writing. The drummer, who literally marches to his beat, wrote a message to Trump supporters and Republican politicians that will make every Democrat want to high five him every time they see him. Forget all those Dems, who are running for President, this is the man who should be President. Imagine what the world would be like with him in charge. It would be so cool, it would help to lower the Earth’s climate system, therefore reversing Global Warming.
Think I am exaggerating, then read what he wrote below.
“You Trumpsters better pray that liberals never gain control of the WH again because we are going to pay you back so fucking hard for all of this shit. Planned Parenthoods on every damn corner. We’re going to repaint Air Force One, pussy hat pink and fly it over your beloved Bible Belt 6 days a week, tossing birth control pills, condoms & atheist literature from the cockpit. We’re going to tax your mega churches so bad Joel Olsteen will need to get a job at Chik Fil A to pay his light bill. Speaking of Chik Fil A, we’re buying all those and giving them to any LGBTQ person your sick cult leaders tortured with conversion therapy. Have fun with the new menu you bigoted fucks. Try the McPence. It’s a boiled unseasoned chicken breast that you have to eat in the closet with your mother. We’re going to gather up ALL of your guns, melt them down and turn them into a gargantuan metal mountain emblazoned with the face of Hillary Clinton. ALL parks will be renamed Rosa Parks asap. We’re replacing Confederate statues with BLM Leaders & Mexican immigrants. Every single public school will be renamed after a child that was kidnapped by this regime. And after we fumigate the WH, we’re repainting the whole thing rainbow. Fox News will be taken over and turned into a family refugee shelter. We’re turning Hannity’s office into a giant unisex bathroom with changing tables & free tampons. And every single time a Trumpster complains about any of the changes, we’re adding an openly gay character to a Disney movie.”
What are you looking for most out everything he said in that speech? I am looking forward to the rainbow-colored White House and getting my birth control at Planned Parenthood/Starbucks on every corner.
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There are spiders living in Ted Cruz’s beard? |
| July 19th, 2019 under Politics. [ Comments: none ]
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| https://twitter.com/i/status/1151676594294935552
Somehow I missed the biggest story of the week. Ted Cruz was on Fox News this week when suddenly a spider appeared on his lips and he inhaled it live on air. I guess it was bigger than the other bugs he is used to eating because he started to choke. Kind of like when he ran for President.
I don’t know where the bug came from, so I am just assuming he crawled out of his beard. Who knows what is in that thing? Doesn’t the facial hair make him look even creepier than he did before? And he was plenty creepy looking.
Now let’s get back to the spider, I hope it was not radioactive. We don’t need him to become a superhero. How frightening would that be?
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