The Ohio State Buckeyes flew down to the White House to celebrate their National Football Championship with the person who lives there and the couch fucker.
The team brought their trophy with them, and that turned out to be a mistake. That is because when the VP picked it up with one of the players, the metal part separated from the base, and he dropped the bottom part like if he tried to catch a football.
Then, the player who was holding the top part gave the baseless trophy to the Ohio resident to pose for photos with them, which caused him to look even sadder than he usually does.
How did JD Vance react to his slippery fingers? He wrote, “I didn’t want anyone after Ohio State to get the trophy, so I decided to break it.”
Last week, his wife, Usha, who looks older than Melania, said he is a lonely man because he is the VP. That is not why. It is because he is an unlikable person who can’t make jokes or hold a trophy properly. Does anyone besides Usha like him? Even furniture salesmen don’t want to sell him couches.
Yesterday, Republicans spent the day talking to Oliver Stone about the 61-year-old murder investigation into the assassination of John F. Kennedy. Because that is going to help lower the prices of everything.
Anyway, it was someone’s brilliant idea to put Lauren Boebert on the committee that asked witnesses questions about who they think committed the crime.
She asked director Oliver Stone about his book in which he says that then Vice President Lyndon B. Johnson was behind the murder. Oliver didn’t know what she was talking about. Why? Because fake Boobert thought she was talking to conspiracy theorist author Roger Stone.
They are nothing alike. One makes movies, one writes books. One fought in Vietnam, one spied on Democrats. One is Liberal, one is MAGAt. However, they are both out there. That could be why she got them confused.
That, and she is not the brightest lightbulb in a nightlight. Perhaps if she had spent more time studying in school, she would have known to watch the movie instead of reading the book, because who wants to read?
Bill and Hillary Clinton excitingly voted today for Kamala Harris. And it looks like the former President is really excited that he voted for her to be the next person.
Where is Monica Lewinsky when you need her? Sorry, Monica, I had to.
However, from her, we learned that he likes cigars, and maybe that is what is in his pocket?
We are days away from the election, and Vice President Kamala Harris made a last-minute stop at Saturday Night Live yesterday.
The future President of the United States had some reflection time with her doppelganger Maya Rudolph, and she learned what her what her laugh really sounds like!
I love having a President who can laugh at herself. And not one who doesn’t understand why we are laughing at him.
Yesterday, Tim Walz held a rally in Detroit with Barack Obama. If you are going to have a political event in Michigan, then you need to have the state’s biggest star introduce you.
So, they asked Kid Rock to join them. Who am I kidding? It was Eminem who went the 8 Mile for Democrats yesterday.
However, I don’t think anything could prepare the Rapper for what was about to happen next. When Obama came out, he said that he was nervous following the hometown star. So much so, he told the cheering audience, “My palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. There’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti. I’m nervous, but on the surface, he looks calm and ready. To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting.”
And that is why people love Obama! He knows how to win over a crowd without talking about the size of a late golfer’s penis. Mainly because let’s be honest, we know that Obama also has a golf club between his legs, unlike Trump, who swings with a golf tee.
