Ladies, Evelyn Gonzalez learned a very important lesson. Don’t ever hug Nick Cannon.
Why? Because if you do, you will wind up pregnant! Even if you use birth control pills, an IUD, a female condom, and there is no penetration. You are going to be one of his baby mamas.
So, baby #13 and counting is on its way. And Gonzalez is going to be a millionaire.
Nick Cannon shared a video of himself in bed with one of his baby mamas, Brei Tiesi, and I wonder if they are working on his baker’s dozen and her second child with him. The two share a daughter, Legendary Love, 1.
Back to what he was doing in bed with the Selling Sunset star. They were shooting a funny video. At least, I think it was supposed to be a funny video.
I don’t know about you. But I don’t care how much money he pays me. There is no way I would get into bed with him because he has potent sperm. So unless you want to spend the next nine months pregnant and 18 years raising a kid, avoid all bedroom activities with the comedian.
Jamie Foxx was supposed to host Beat Shazam again this summer with his daughter Corrine, but he suffered an undisclosed medical complication. Therefore, Fox needed someone to fill in for the ailing host, and they went with Nick Cannon.
Today, Cannon was interviewed by Extra, and he talked about how it all went down. “It was a lot. It was over text and emails,” he said. “I was actually working on something else, and they say, ‘Jamie wants you to do this.’ And I was like, ‘I’ll do anything for Jamie.’ Once I got the blessing, I’m there. I got the blessing from him and Corinne [Foxx].”
Does Cannon have the blessing to disclose what is wrong with Foxx? He does not, and he is going to respect the actor’s privacy. Then he added that when Foxx is ready to talk about it, he will. But until then, they are going to put out the information they want out there and not what some asshole wants to make up without any proof.
On that note. Can we talk about sad Billy Bush sounds trying to be all hip while talking to Cannon? In the words of K.C. and the Sunshine Band, “Baby, give it up. Give it up. Baby, give it up!”
Since he appreciates the six women raising his babies, he decided to do something nice for them on Mother’s Day. Not give them a million dollars each. But instead, he handwrote personalized cards that were unique for each one of them.
How sweet? It would’ve been. But…he “got the cards mixed up.” He then told his unsympathetic co-hosts on The Daily Cannon, “When one baby mama reads the card about how I feel about the other baby mama…”
Now, giving them a million dollars doesn’t sound so bad. Does it? I am sure he had to give all of them, except Mariah Carey, that and so much more after that colossal fuck up.
The moral of the story is don’t knock up so many women, and you won’t have any problems giving her the card that was meant for her.
I hope for Father’s Day, they all get him a vasectomy.
Nick Cannon posted a warning on his Facebook page today, and women beware. He wrote, “Something about a Fresh Haircut that makes you feel like you can impregnate the whole world…”
And as we know, when the father of 12 is in the mood to get a woman pregnant, he does.
Since I live in LA, I took a second birth control pill, and I am walking around with a box of condoms, just in we cross paths.
