Forget Cocaine Bear. Let’s not even talk about TMNT: Mutant Mayhem. Little Mermaid, who? Those are not the movies that everyone is going to want to see this year. So what is it? Cocaine Crabs from Outer Space deserves that title.
When a couple of intergalactic space crabs land on Earth, they encounter the one thing they didn’t expect… A duo of dumb frat boys force-feeding them cocaine! As it turns out, cocaine gives space crabs an overbearing impulse to kill! Their string of peculiar homicides has Detective Charlie Reese thinking that something smells fishy… literally! But, when he explains to his Captain that crabs may be causing the grisly murders, he is quickly dismissed. Trying to back up his theory, Detective Reese seeks the help of a sea life expert, but the best local help he can find is a pet store employee named ‘Alex Bailey.’ Convinced that the detective may be onto something, the two of them find themselves teaming up in the deadly wake of the coked-out crabs!
If the plot is not enough to make you want to get high with it, then the expensive special effects are going to draw you in like crabs to butter sauce.
And once you see it, you are going to be addicted for life! And I don’t want to go to rehab if that means I can’t watch Cocaine Crabs from Outer Space over and over and over and over again!
SRS Cinema doesn’t have a release date on this future classic, but I hope they don’t wait too long because I need my fix, and I need it now.
UPDATE: Pre-sales for the movie start on Thursday at 7p, and it will start shipping in late August.
TMNT: Mutant Mayhem is one of the most anticipated movies of the summer. And today, we found out we are not going to have to wait as long as we thought to see it. That is because Paramount moved up the release date from August 4th to August 2nd. Two days can seem like an eternity, and that eternity just got a little shorter.
So get ready for teenagers Micah Abbey, Nicolas Cantu, Shamon Brown Jr., and Brady Noon to play Donatello, Leonardo, Michelangelo, and Raphael, respectively, in Seth Rogen’s take on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
After years of being sheltered from the human world, the Turtle brothers set out to win the hearts of New Yorkers and be accepted as normal teenagers through heroic acts. Their new friend April O’Neil helps them take on a mysterious crime syndicate, but they soon get in over their heads when an army of mutants is unleashed upon them.
Mutant Mayhem also stars the voices of Hannibal Buress, Rose Byrne, John Cena, Jackie Chan, Ice Cube, Natasia Demetriou, Ayo Edebiri, Giancarlo Esposito, Post Malone, Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd, and Maya Rudolph.
Here is some more good news for fans, the second trailer will be released on May 31st.
Yesterday, we got to see the Killer Kites’ trailer, and we couldn’t wait to see the film. So, they released it 23 days early, aka today, on Digital for all of us to enjoy like we did when we were flying a kite as a kid! Those days brought smiles to our faces, and so does this Horror movie.
Abby inherited a kite from her grandmother, and it has a dark secret she doesn’t know about. Unfortunately, she and everyone in her town is going to learn what it is. It has the power to kill people, and it enjoys doing so. Not only that, but it also gets other kites to do the same.
So now it is up to Abby and her friends to save the day. But how are they going to do it if the kites are indestructible? If a kite could survive lighting when Ben Franklin was flying it, then nothing could kill them.
How can Abby defeat the undefeatable? You have to see it to believe it.
And if they say seeing is believing, you are not going to believe a lot of what you see in this feature.
Something that makes a good Horredy is when they have fun with the absurd, mostly because they don’t have the money to do so. That is what makes them so special and enjoyable.
If you are going to do a movie about kites that kill, then you better make it as outrageous as possible. And that is what Paul Dale and Austin Frosch, the men behind Sewer Gators, did!
So what are you waiting for? The wind to blow your way so you can fly Killer Kites? No wind is required to laugh with this movie. All you need to do is download it. So go ahead and do it. You will love it as much as I do!
And did I mention that all of the best scenes are in the trailer? Now, I bet you want to see it even more!
Remember when we thought that Cocaine Bear was going to be the movie of the year? Well, that was too early of a prediction.
That is because today we learned the true movie of the year, and it is Killer Kites.
The title is self-explanatory. But in case it isn’t. Here is the description: When Abby’s grandma dies, the only thing she inherits is a stupid kite. After giving it to her brother; he is mysteriously killed, and the kite disappears. While searching for the truth, she is tangled in a strange supernatural plot where this killer kite continues to kill! Now, Abby must string together a way to stop the kite before it blows us all away. Kites may not be the scariest monster ever, but they’re up there.
It is not only that the movie is based on kites going around killing people; it is everything that they included in the trailer. The bad puns, the cheap special effects, the fact they have to position the kites to kill them, and so much more that they didn’t include.
I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to see the film on digital on May 26th. However, releasing it during Memorial Day Weekend, the height of kiting season could cause nightmares throughout the United States. So now my plans for the holiday just went up, up, and away.
And I just have to say; I watch a lot of bad horror movies that are in on the joke, like this one. However, I still wonder how they come up with ideas like this. What happened to the creator with kites that they made came up with this concept?
UPDATE: Due to the demand to see this movie ASAP, after the buzz it got from the release of the trailer, they decided to release it on digital today. So watch it now, or anytime you want, because you know that once is not going to be enough.
