Seriously? OMG! WTF?

https://youtu.be/Fu21BcyLGNc
Facebook’s Portal is trying to win us over by having Jennifer Lopez and Kim Kardashian do a commercial together to promote their product. For me, it is a fail. I mean, the only things missing from this ad are Jennifer Aniston and Gwyneth Paltrow. Then they could have quadfecta of annoying Hollywood celebs in one advertisement.

BTW I bet you that J-Lo shot this like she shot that Fiat ad. As in faked it with a green screen.

Keeping Up with the Kardashians is filming its 18th season (what is wrong with us?) now, and one of the sisters told Entertainment Tonight she is taking a break from the show.

Kourtney Kardashian said, “I’m just decided to spend more time as a mom and put more of my energy there, but I am not saying goodbye.” The oldest sister has three kids: Mason, 9, Penelope, 7, and Reign, 4. Therefore, now is the time to do it since her oldest is at that age when he is going to want nothing to do with his mom. Puberty is cruel at that age.

Now, let’s be real (something, I think, they are not), will anyone miss her? She is the one we don’t care about. Not being mean, just be honest.

Jeffrey Dillon has come up (no pun intended) with a way to revolutionize the adult sex toy industry with Virtual Mate. He has created an experience where you can see and feel like you are with a woman without having one in the room with you. Men, it is such an intimate experience, it will make you put your FleshLights down.

This amazing technology is still in the crowdfunding stage. That means you can get it at a really great price if you preorder it now. Not only can you get it for a good rate, but they are also still looking for models to be their virtual mates. When asked which celebrity men would want to be on their service, Kim Kardashian won the contest hands down (their pants).

Therefore, they are willing to give her $1,000,000 to be their celebrity model. What does she have to do for the 7 digits? All they are need are two things. First and foremost they need to get a licensing agreement in place. Second, they just need to film Kim in their motion-capture suit. Then they can create a younger version of Kim and a current version of Kim so her fans can interact with either character or both at the same time!

I am sure that Kanye West is not the only one who would not mind having a three-way with the current Kim and her younger self. When it comes to her younger self, she has already made a sex tape that made her, so why wouldn’t she do this? At least this time she is getting paid the big bucks upfront to do it. Literally!

Then cum, I mean come, early 2020, she, if she says yes, will be available for you to play with.

Still a little confused? Virtual Mate is the world’s first virtual intimacy system, containing realistic virtual mate gaming for PCs, tablets, smartphones, and VR headsets. You can choose between Fast Mode, Story Mode or VR Mode.

The best part for you men is that you will be able to be handsfree. Which means you can do with them whatever you want.

When it comes to us ladies, someday soon we will have our own Virtual Mate. Then we get to decide who they should spend a million dollars on. Who to pick?

So men, make sure to get gift receipts for all the holiday gifts you get. This way you can return those presents and get the gift that keeps on giving joy all year round. What man doesn’t want someone who is willing to give it to him whenever he wants it when he wants it. Best part, she never gets a headache.

I would ask, what’s next. However, I think they will keep us occupied for a while.

Sex toys have cum a long way baby!

There have been rumors that Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott have split and today a source to Eonline.com that “Kylie and Travis aren’t officially calling it quits on their relationship, but are taking space apart.”

They added that the couple has been fighting over little things and it was best not to be together at this time. Even though they are not seeing each other, he is still allowed to see their daughter Stormi, 1.

He better get his act together because now that she is almost on the market, men are going to want to date the youngest self-made billionaire. Sh!t, even I want to date her for the money and I am a woman who likes men.

Kim Kardashian just released a line of shapewear undergarments and she wondered if she should add a pee hole to them.

How do we know this? Yesterday, when she was in The Tonight Show, she and Jimmy Fallon played Show Me Your Phone. They are asked to reveal a different thing from their phone and they have to show it to the audience. She was tasked to show us what was the last she searched.

She Googled, “Is Shapewear with pee hole better?” Why did she want to know this? She has used some with the pee hole and it left her all wet. When she wore a pair at an Emmys with one, she got more urine on herself than in the toilet. It did not work for her, but would it work for others? That is what Google is for because you can find anything and everything on there.

Should she have a pee hole? I say yes because when you gotta go, you gotta go. Getting out of your shapewear is not easy and you just need it off of you.

Hey Kim, I think I have a design that can make it work. Email me and I will tell you my idea for a price!

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