Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Dear @SouthwestAir – I know I’m fat, but was Captain Leysath really justified in throwing me off a flight for which I was already seated?
Dear @SouthwestAir, I flew out in one seat, but right after issuing me a standby ticket, Oakland Southwest attendant Suzanne (wouldn’t give ast name) told me Captain Leysath deemed me a “safety risk”. Again: I’m way fat… But I’m not THERE just yet. But if I am, why wait til my bag is up, and I’m seated WITH ARM RESTS DOWN. In front of a packed plane with a bunch of folks who’d already I.d.ed me as “Silent Bob.”
So, @SouthwestAir, go f*ck yourself. I broke no regulation, offered no “safety risk” (what, was I gonna roll on a fellow passenger?). I was wrongly ejected from the flight (even Suzanne eventually agreed). And f*ck your apologetic $100 voucher, @SouthwestAir. Thank God I don’t embarrass easily (bless you, JERSEY GIRL training). But I don’t sulk off either: so everyday, some new f*ck-you Tweets for @SouthwestAir.
Wanna tell me I’m too wide for the sky? Totally cool. But fair warning, folks: IF YOU LOOK LIKE ME, YOU MAY BE EJECTED FROM @SOUTHWESTAIR.
Dear @SouthwestAir, I’m on another one of your planes, safely seated & buckled-in again, waiting to be dragged off in front of the normies.
And, hey? @SouthwestAir? I didn’t even need a seat belt extender to buckle up. Somehow, that shit fit over my “safety concern”-creating gut.
Hey @SouthwestAir! Look how fat I am on your plane! Quick! Throw me off! (Pictured above)
Hey @SouthwestAir! Sometimes, the arm rests are up because THE PEOPLE SITTING THERE ALREADY PUT THEM UP; NOT BECAUSE THEY “CAN’T GO DOWN.”
The @SouthwestAir Diet. How it works: you’re publicly shamed into a slimmer figure. Crying the weight right off has never been easier!
Hey @SouthwestAir! I’ve landed in Burbank. Don’t worry: wall of the plane was opened & I was airlifted out while Richard Simmons supervised.
Hey @SouthwestAir? F*ck making it right for me just ’cause I have a platform. I sat next to a big girl who was chastised for not buying an extra ticket because “all passengers deserve their space.” Fucking flight wasn’t even full! Fuck your size-ist policy. Rude..

From Southewest Airline’s Twitter:
@ThatKevinSmith Ok, I’ll be sure to check it out. Hopefully you received our voicemail earlier this evening.
@ThatKevinSmith Again, I’m very sorry for the experience you had tonight. Please let me know if there is anything else I can do.

From Kevin Smith:
Via @SouthwestAir “Hopefully you received our voicemail earlier this evening” All lines checked, no voicemail message on any 323. Try again.

From Southwest Airlines:
@ThatKevinSmith We called you on the number you had on file in your reservation. If you prefer a different number, please DM me. Thanks!

Here is Southwest Airline’s shocking travel policy for “large customers” that sound like they were written by a skinny person who has a fat phobia.

No word yet if Southwest airlines and Kevin Smith have hooked up, but I would love to hear that phone call because you know he will do them what Shannen Doherty had done to her in Mallrats.
I have a feeling Kevin Smith won’t be flying Southwest to promote his movie Cop Out that comes out on February 26th.
BTW I wonder if the real reason the pilot threw him off of that flight was not because of his weight, but because he saw Jersey Girl? Sorry I had to go there, that movie was that bad.

UPDATE: Southwest Airlines just Tweeted this “Our apology to @ThatKevinSmith and more details regarding the events from last night – http://cot.ag/96KHC7”
Here is the part where they explained what happened, and you can read the rest on Southwest Airline blog.

Mr. Smith originally purchased two Southwest seats on a flight from Oakland to Burbank – as he’s been known to do when traveling on Southwest. He decided to change his plans and board an earlier flight to Burbank, which technically means flying standby. As you may know, airlines are not able to clear standby passengers until all Customers are boarded. When the time came to board Mr. Smith, we had only a single seat available for him to occupy. Our pilots are responsible for the Safety and comfort of all Customers on the aircraft and therefore, made the determination that Mr. Smith needed more than one seat to complete his flight. Our Employees explained why the decision was made, accommodated Mr. Smith on a later flight, and issued him a $100 Southwest travel voucher for his inconvenience.

I still think it was extremely wrong that he was booted from the flight, they should have asked the person/people he was sitting next to if they were uncomfortable before they removed him from the flight. I would rather sit next to a person with a few extra pounds than a person who smells (and I once had a very long flight from Miami to NYC because of that), but that is just me.

I’m like, “Well what about Inglourious Basterds?” And I guess, because of the spelling, they got away with it. So we were like, “Can we call it A Couple of D.I.C.s?” Because that’s the proper acronym for detectives, Detective In Charge. And [the networks] kicked that back as well. It was the pluralizing of any form of dick, whether it was d-i-c-k or any derivation.
So my feeling was like, it’s an R-rated movie, so who the f— are we talking to anyway before 9 o’clock? Warner Bros’s feeling was like, “Hey man, we have to advertise to the sports audience on Saturday and Sunday and all those sporting events usually take place before 9 p.m. in the evening.” At which point, I was like, “Oh wow, you guys are way smarter than me.”

I personally think it is bullsh!t that he had to change the title. WTF is wrong with A Couple of Dicks? It spelled like the name and not like the organ that is specific to the people with that name. What is next no character will have the name Dick before 9p? Is that why we haven’t seen Dick Van Dyke or Dick Van Patten on TV recently?
As I said before this is not the first time that Kevin Smith has had an issue with a movie title, he had a lot of problems with his last movie Zack and Miri Make a Porno and he also told the mag how his mom felt about the title, he said she told her son “‘I might go see Zack and Miri, but I would never go see Zack and Miri Make a Porno.’ I feel like Chief Brody in Jaws 2: I’ve seen the shark up close. I ain’t going through that hell again.” Poor Kevin Smith they are trying to bring the man down. I really wonder if Quentin Tarantino tried to market a film called A Couple of Dicks or Zack or Miri Make A Porno if the networks would’ve pulled the ads before 9p because as Smith said they didn’t have a problem with Inglourious Basterds?
Now when it comes to Cop Out when I saw the trailer over the weekend I didn’t realize it was Kevin Smith’s film and I actually was like that looks like a good rental. Now that I know it is his movie, I will totally go see it when it comes on February 26th. His movies always have me in hysterics…well minus that one he blames for kind of ruining his career…Jersey Girl.

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