Yesterday was Saturday Night Live’s first episode since the election. Therefore, the cast and crew wanted the president-elect to know that they, all but Michael Che, voted for him.
They made it very clear that he was always their first choice and that they will only portray him in a positive light from now on.
And I bet you he totally believes them, which was the point of the scary cold open that was also funny. Shhh! Don’t tell.
And poor Elon Musk’s feelings were hurt by Dana Carvery’s accurate portrayal of him. Why are they all so thin-skinned? Man up! I am so over them telling me that they are the real men when they act like such pussies. Grow a pair! Mine are bigger than yours, and I am a woman. Hear me roar!
Shhh! Can I let you in on a secret? Homelander is an anti-superhero version of Donald Trump.
So, when The Boys heard about the former president “working” at McDonald’s over the weekend, they knew they had to acknowledge it.
They did so by creating a photo of Homelander working a drive-thru and writing, “Growing up, Homelander dreamed of working at his local Vought A Burger. Recently, his wish came true, as Vought shut down a restaurant and staged pre-selected customers, so Homelander could ‘serve’ ‘people’ ‘food.’ Thanks, Homelander, for showing everyone how you’re a true man of the people!”
Donald Trump and most of the conservative male politicians think they are manly men. But they are not.
WWE legend Dave Bautista, who is as manly as you can get, decided to go after Trump where it hurts. His masculinity, or lack thereof it!
Just when you think there was nowhere left for Bautista to go, he went there. And I am here for every twist of Trump’s tiny balls and micro penis!
A real man doesn’t have to tell me he is a real man. He just is one! Maybe the likes of Tucker Carlson, Ted Cruz, Elon Musk, and Josh Hawley can try being real men instead of saying they are one. All I see are wannabe men with tiny penises who could never satisfy a woman in bed because they are so bad at it.
Yesterday was not Donald Trump’s night. First, Vice President Kamala Harris kicked Donald Trump’s ass in the debate. It was not even close. It was a blood bath.
If that was not bad enough for the “man” who claimed Hatain immigrants are eating the pets of Springfield, Ohio (they are not), Taylor Swift finished him off by endorsing Mrs. Harris to be President of the United States in November. And we know how influential her endorsement is to the billions of Swifites around the World.
Ms. Swift wrote: “Like many of you, I watched the debate tonight. If you haven’t already, now is a great time to do your research on the issues at hand and the stances these candidates take on the topics that matter to you the most. As a voter, I make sure to watch and read everything I can about their proposed policies and plans for this country.
“Recently I was made aware that AI of ‘me’ falsely endorsing Donald Trump’s presidential run was posted to his site. It really conjured up my fears around AI, and the dangers of spreading misinformation. It brought me to the conclusion that I need to be very transparent about my actual plans for this election as a voter. The simplest way to combat misinformation is with the truth.
“I will be casting my vote for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz in the 2024 Presidential Election. I’m voting for @kamalaharris because she fights for the rights and causes I believe need a warrior to champion them. I think she is a steady-handed, gifted leader and I believe we can accomplish so much more in this country if we are led by calm and not chaos. I was so heartened and impressed by her selection of running mate @timwalz, who has been standing up for LGBTQ+ rights, IVF, and a woman’s right to her own body for decades.
“I’ve done my research, and I’ve made my choice. Your research is all yours to do, and the choice is yours to make. I also want to say, especially to first time voters: Remember that in order to vote, you have to be registered! I also find it’s much easier to vote early. I’ll link where to register and find early voting dates and info in my story.
“With love and hope,
“Taylor Swift
“Childless Cat Lady”
Just like the cat she is holding, this election is just like Benjamin Button. We started out with old men, and it is ending with a young (wo)man!!!
BTW He had to know he was fucked when he posted that AI photo claiming that Swift endorsed him. She was just waiting. And she chose the perfect time to get her revenge.
Today, we finally got the trailer for The Apprentice, which is loosely based on the life of young Donald Trump. As the trailer says, this is a supervillain’s origin story, and we know that he grew up to be one. Because we are living in his Gotham City, and I can’t wait to be in an alternate universe without him.
As someone who grew up in NYC, I watched this play out in real time. Hopefully, those who worship him will see this and be like we have been bamboozled. We just have to lie to them and tell them that it is his biopic and not an unauthorized biography. They won’t know the differece.
Now, let’s talk about Sebastian Stan. He is one of the greats of his generation. But I don’t believe him as Trump. He looks the role. He just doesn’t play it as him. But then again, who would want that part? Donald is not cool like The Joker, Khan, or Loki.
The Apprentice hits theaters on October 11th. Are you going to vote to see it?
