Donald Trump went to kiss his “wife,” Melania Trump at that thingy I don’t want to mention, and it was colder than the temperatures outside in Washington, D.C.
The former nude model was covered up, wearing a hat that the Hamburglar wished he could have in his collection. It appears she knew what she was doing by keeping, what I assume, his smelly breath and dry lips away from her face.
I can’t say I blame her. But the gold digger got what she deserved, and I hope they are as miserable as they seem to be. They made their beds, so they deserve everything they get.
Unfortunately, Mr. Adult Diapers will become president on Monday, and he is building up his staff.
Today, he announced who will be his Hollywood Ambassadors. And you know they will only be the best.
“It is my honor to announce Jon Voight, Mel Gibson, and Sylvester Stallone, to be Special Ambassadors to a great but very troubled place, Hollywood, California,” he wrote. “They will serve as Special Envoys to me for the purpose of bringing Hollywood, which has lost much business over the last four years to Foreign Countries, BACK—BIGGER, BETTER, AND STRONGER THAN EVER BEFORE! These three very talented people will be my eyes and ears, and I will get done what they suggest. It will again be, like The United States of America itself, The Golden Age of Hollywood!”
Yeah, Hollywood is going to listen to those three stooges. Stallone has been downgraded to television, and the others have just been downgraded. When was the last time they worked?
Poor James Woods, Dean Cain, Scott Baio, and Kristy Swanson, they aren’t even good enough for him these days. That is pretty sad.
This morning, there were rumblings that Carrie Underwood was going to perform at Donald Trump’s inauguration, and then it was confirmed.
Needless to say, a lot of people were pissed off at the American Idol. So, she released a statement explaining why she is doing it.
“I love our country and am honored to have been asked to sing at the Inauguration and to be a small part of this historic event,” she told People. “I am humbled to answer the call at a time when we must all come together in the spirit of unity and looking to the future.”
Whatevs.
I will never forget how she kept crying about how her face was scarred badly because of a fall she had at her house, and it looked fine with barely noticeable scars.
I honestly never got her appeal. And after the face debacle, I was over her. Now, I am completely done. It is going to be interesting to see how or if this will affect American Idol, now that Miss Boring is going to be a judge.
Oh, and if she does one of her songs at the event, she should sing Before He Cheats. Too late for Melania though…
Yesterday was Saturday Night Live’s first episode since the election. Therefore, the cast and crew wanted the president-elect to know that they, all but Michael Che, voted for him.
They made it very clear that he was always their first choice and that they will only portray him in a positive light from now on.
And I bet you he totally believes them, which was the point of the scary cold open that was also funny. Shhh! Don’t tell.
And poor Elon Musk’s feelings were hurt by Dana Carvery’s accurate portrayal of him. Why are they all so thin-skinned? Man up! I am so over them telling me that they are the real men when they act like such pussies. Grow a pair! Mine are bigger than yours, and I am a woman. Hear me roar!
Shhh! Can I let you in on a secret? Homelander is an anti-superhero version of Donald Trump.
So, when The Boys heard about the former president “working” at McDonald’s over the weekend, they knew they had to acknowledge it.
They did so by creating a photo of Homelander working a drive-thru and writing, “Growing up, Homelander dreamed of working at his local Vought A Burger. Recently, his wish came true, as Vought shut down a restaurant and staged pre-selected customers, so Homelander could ‘serve’ ‘people’ ‘food.’ Thanks, Homelander, for showing everyone how you’re a true man of the people!”
