Martha Stewart was on The Late Show and David Letterman had to know more about her experience with Match.com. The Homemaker Guru told him that 30,000 men contacted her on the site. Of those potential matches, her people only found 12 suitors for her. Well then the CBS host had to know if she went on a date with any of them and she admitted that she did. So of course we all want to know if she made one of her excellent breakfasts for him the next day, OK I am saying it nicer than Letterman did, but let’s be real we want to know if they got crafty with her. Sadly being the lady that she is, she didn’t answer. But I am thinking she didn’t or she would still be using the site to get something cooking with a few more of those 30,000 men that contacted her. What do you think?
With stars like Tom Hanks, Cyndi Lauper and Shia LaBeouf (forget the last one) having huge success on Broadway, David Letterman announced on The Late Show that he would be doing the same. The CBS late night host will be starring in Letterace and I think he will be shining star at the Tonys next year. Neil Patrick Harris will have a whole song dedicated to Letterman’s greatness in the Broadway show.
Who is as excited for this project as much as I am?
Russell Brand was a guest on The Late Show tonight and he told David Letterman that he was a mailman before he was an actor. He told David Letterman why he did it. Brand explained, “In my mind, it is a cultural illusion that this is an opportunity for early morning conjugal activity. I thought that housewives would open the door, with a gesture to their nether regions.” Then he added, “Turns out that is not a window for sex. They just want their letters basically.” So how long did he hold out before he quit his sexless job? He held the job for 3 whole weeks.
I guess he thought that mailman was spelled maleman, and because of that I wonder if he thought that woman would think he is twice the man. I mean why would think that woman want their mailman? It has never been a fantasy of mine and I never heard anyone else wanted to lick their postal worker like a stamp. Have you?
Dear Mailmen, I am sorry if I offended you with the last paragraph. That was not what I was going for with this post. Please continue to deliver my bills and junk mail. Thanks!
John Cougar Mellencamp (Sorry he will always have that name to me) was on The Late Show yesterday and he had an obvious black eye. So David Letterman had to ask the singer about it. So Mellencamp told him a little ditty about his son and him getting into a fight; and how 18 year old Speck got a punch in and he didn’t. Boys will be boys!
But Mellencamp wasn’t on the CBS late night show to talk about his black eye, he was there to talk about Ghost Brothers of Darkland County that he did with the great Stephen King. The two men, who say they are like brothers, told the story about how John buying a haunted house brought the two of them together. Of course something being haunted would garner King’s interest. And since King was told John’s house’s story 13 years ago, the two have been great friends. And you can see it in the way they were interacting with each other.
I have been a fan of both of their work since I was a kid, and for some reason I never realized until now just how cool they really are. Don’t you just want to go for a beer in a dive bar and play darts with them as you shoot the sh!t?
Johnny Galecki is a guest on The Late Show tonight on CBS at 11:35p and The Big Bang Theory star told David Letterman how the late great Milton Berle taught him how to make out. When he was 18 years old and Berle was 89, the legendary actor guest starred on Roseanne and he gave the teen some sage advice. Berle taught him how to make out. Galecki shared the words of wisdom he was given by the actor, who is as well known for his huge pen!s as his acting, on the late night show, “Look them in the eye. Then you look them in the mouth. Then you look them in the eye. And then you move in.” Did it work for him? He admitted, “it kind of worked.”
So fellas now that you know Berle’s secret to making out, go try it out on your lover or your potential one tonight!
Now when it comes to Johnny Galecki, doesn’t he look like how Joaquin Phoenix looked when he did that infamous interview with Letterman all those years ago. Someone buy him a razor or give him a job in front of the camera ASAP. Because if that hiatus beard gets any bushier, even Milton Berle’s words won’t get him anywhere near any other lips any time soon.
