Yesterday on Conan O’Brien, they did their popular segment, “What Conan’s Watching.” Basically, they make up their own descriptions for television shows via the info button.
For example, for Million Dollar Listing: Los Angeles, the screen said, “Wanna see what a million dollars gets you in Los Angeles? Hope you like sh!tholes.” Or for House of Cards it is written as, “A crazy fictional world where the President of the United States loses his job for being a sexual harasser.” For the Today show it reads, “If you a male host whose penis doesn’t work, please give us a call.”
Then when he got to This Is Us, things got ugly. It’s description started out innocently enough as, “Get the Kleenex ready!” But then it took a more shocking turn than most the drama’s final few seconds with, “That’s right, you are going to want to masturbate to this show.” As hot the men are on this show, I never said, oh I need to pleasure myself afterwards. Several glasses of wine, yes. But never, let me know show this show how much I love it. What about you?
But wait, there is one more. They saved the best, or maybe worst for last, and it is for Young Sheldon. The information for this season’s #1 new comedy is, “Or as Kevin Spacey calls it, “Exactly the Right Age Sheldon.” So wrong, and yet so right. And that is why we love the TBS host, he is not afraid to go there. Boy, does he goes there!
Conan’s Jordan Schlansky decided to pose with some live turkeys and I guess he told them some of the facts that only he knows and cares about like how many turkeys are killed each year for human consumption. I say that because one of the birds bit him. Something his boss, Conan O’Brien, would love to do but legally cannot. Which makes you wonder if the late night host dressed up as a turkey just so that he could get away with pecking on his associate producer?
When you think of Jackie Chan, you think he so brave that he is not afraid of anything. Turns out there is one thing that scares him and he told Conan O’Brien it is getting a shot. In fact, he told a story how he ran away from a nurse who was trying to give him one after he got bit by a dog. He runs towards danger, but runs away from a needle. Which I cannot blame him because they hurt.
You know what, he needs to do a movie where he is constantly being chased by doctors who are trying to give him a shot. They can call it Shot in the Dark or Take Your Best Shot.
Conan O’Brien did a week of shows in Harlem this week and he brought his staff along with him. There is one member he wishes he didn’t bring with them and of course that is Jordan Schlansky.
Well I guess the TBS late night lost a bet because he was stuck sharing a cab with his PA to the Apollo Theater. On the way there, Schlansky shared his vast knowledge of NYC’s past. Being a NYer by birth, I knew some of those facts, Although, I actually learned a thing or two. But why did he have to bring up Duran Duran? What did they do to him? And Footloose is a great album, what he is talking about? Let’s not hear it for the boy.
We have been talking about Kelly Clarkson for 15 years, but whatever happened to that guy she did a movie with all those years ago? Somehow Conan O’Brien found Justin Guarini and got him to sing a song on his late night show yesterday that is filming at the Apollo Theater all this week.
While that might sound glorious for American Idol’s first runner up, it actually isn’t. Why? Because he was singing it about the Conan Strike Rat balloon that the host is trying to get in Macy*s Thanksgiving Day Parade this year. Since it looks more like the President than him, there is not way that it will happen. Because someone on 5th Avenue will shoot it down and not lose a single supporter! Where have I heard that scenario before?
