It used to be that the only way you would see a man go full frontal on the screen was in hardcore porn. But this year proved that is a thing of the past.
It was like a unicorn to see a man’s penis. There was The Crying Game, Sleepaway Camp, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Velvet Goldmine, Hangover, Boogie Nights, Old School, American Reunion, Wild Things, and Deadpool, to name a very few.
It felt like it was something we only got to see once a year,
But this week, I saw a lot of dick, and that was just from movies and TV shows from 2023.
It started out with South Park (Not Suitable For Children) when Randy started an OnlyFans account and went completely naked from the waist down for most of his screen time in the special episode. For some reason, animated dick was not my thing. So I reached out to my friends with benefits for dick pics. I needed a cleanser.
However, I no longer need them. That is because the more I watched, the more penises I saw.
While I was donating platelets, I watched Obliterated. In the first episode, I saw all of C. Thomas Howell (who deserves the Emmy for his part. Not only his part). And now I am his secret admirer. He was not the only one to take it all off. We also got to see a stripper strip and put whipped cream all over his long banana. And his was not the longest. Terrence Terrell’s prosthetic was longer, as we saw when he had something stuck up his urethra.
It wasn’t only TV. I also got to see Barry Keoghan dance without any clothes in Saltburn. Believe it or not, the bathtub scene was not the most shocking one in the boring film.
My week isn’t over. So today, I got to see Timothy Laughlin’s package in Fellow Travelers. Secretly, I was hoping for Matt Bomer.
That was just this week. I also got to see penises in Euphoria, The Boys, and Gen V. The latter takes the credit for the largest manhood of them all. That is because we got to see Emma Meyer shrink down to a few inches to give a guy a body job.
I am sure I missed a few. And shockingly, I am OK with that. I can’t believe I am saying this, but I am over seeing dick for a while. It is kind of how I felt about looking in the mirror after seeing Showgirls. I was sick of the female body after that movie.
I don’t know what started this. Was it due to the popularity of Adam Demos’ scene in Sex/Life? That moment went viral and maybe showed producers that women like me want to see more of it.
I know I do. Heck, I watched Queer As Folk for it. But didn’t get to see any of the leads, including Gale Harold, from the front.
Will we see more peens, schlongs, johnsons, wangs, schmeckles, trouser snakes, and royal jewels in 2024? I sure hope so!
Naked women have been normalized in Hollywood since the ’70s. It’s about time we normalized it for men, too!
What do you think? Tell me in the comments.
UPDATE: I was told I need to White Lotus and The Cursed to the last.
UPDATE 2: So I decided to watch The Cursed on Showtime, and I saw a man peeing through his tiny penis. And now I need dick picks again from my friends with benefits.
