Back in 1986, Critters landed down on Earth, caused a lot of death and destruction, and remained on a roll until 1992. That is when they went back to their own planet. Or so we thought…
Today, they are back in Critters: A New Binge on Shudder and the hairy balls with red eyes are hungrier than ever. After all, they have not eaten any humans or animals for a long time.
The 10-part webseries starts off with them on the spaceship heading to Earth to retrieve one of their Crite brothers. This Crite is so special, he will save their species and make them more powerful than they have ever been. They don’t know where he is but they know the general whereabouts. This mission is so important, their president tells they are only there to bring back the Crite and they cannot stop to eat anything. Will they listen? Not at all.
Nerdy overweight Christopher (Joey Morgan) and his best friend Charlie (Bzhaun Rhoden) decide to visit the popular girl he has a crush on Dana (Stephi Chin-Salvo) at the rescue shelter where she works. When they get there, they find out that all of the animals have been killed. It as though something ate them and tore them all to shreds. What could have done that?
When the three of them get to school, Dana reveals she is having a party and they are invited. Her boyfriend doesn’t want them there, but he doesn’t have a say in the matter. Therefore, he gets into a fight with Charlie and the four of them get detention.
When Charlie’s mom (Kirsten Robek) finds out about the fight, she grounds him and tells him he cannot go to the party. Thankfully, his uncle (Gilbert Gottfried), who lives with them, lets him go, but Charlie will quickly regret that. That is because the Critters decide to crash the party to find their missing Crite, but they are unsuccessful.
The next day, while his mom is making out with her boyfriend (Christain Sloan), the Critters come to her house looking for the Crite. That is when her boyfriend reveals that he is a shape-shifting, bounty hunter who came down to Earth to stop the Critters. He also tells her he knows the Critters are looking for her, but he does not know why.
What do the Critters want with Charlie and his mom? What is the connection? Will they be able to stop them before they eat all of Burbank at the hot dog eating contests? Will the Critters find their Crite? You will just have to go to Shudder to find out in this 10-part webseries with bite-size episodes.
Critters: A New Binge comes from the brilliant mind of Jordan Rubin who also gave us the highlarious Zombeavers. He knows how to make Hormedies fun and scary at the same time. Horror is more enjoyable when it does not take itself too seriously and this series does just that. It is loyal to the original series but adapted for today’s world.
Even though the Critters are murderous hairy balls, they are also so cute. I want a stuffed version of one to sleep with. To me, that is what makes this a great small creature feature.
It’s an ’80s horror comedy in 2019 and that was the best era for the genre. I miss the days when horror was less dark and more about the kills than the killing. It is harder to make us laugh with a horror movie than it is to scare us in torture porn. I prefer to do the former. If you do too, then you are going to love Critters: A New Binge as much I do.
If enough of us watch, then we will get the sequel that they elude to in the final scene. I need that sequel and you will too.
