Police in Loretto, Tennessee were about to bust a man for meth. As they entered his house, with a warrant, they allegedly heard him trying to flush his drugs down the toilet. Because of that man’s actions, they had a warning for their residents.
They said, “Folks…please don’t flush your drugs m’kay. When you send something down the sewer pipe it ends up in our retention ponds for processing before it is sent down stream. Now our sewer guys take great pride in releasing water that is cleaner than what is in the creek, but they are not really prepared for meth. Ducks, Geese, and other fowl frequent our treatment ponds and we shudder to think what one all hyped up on meth would do. Furthermore, if it made it far enough we could create meth-gators in Shoal Creek and the Tennessee River down in North Alabama. They’ve had enough methed up animals the past few weeks without our help. So, if you need to dispose of your drugs just give us a call and we will make sure they are disposed of in the proper way.”
What would a methed up animal be like? Scratch that, I don’t want to know. I will just wait for Meth-imals to find out. You know they are working on the movie as we speak. Forget Zoombies, this will be the scariest film about killer animals to date.
Now back to the drugged-up animals. At first, I was like, give the alligators pot because that will calm them down. Then I remembered, it will also give them the munchies. That is bad for us because we taste like chicken and they like chicken.
